


The Only Sausage in the Sea

by ringelchen



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Age Difference, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Auror Harry Potter, Auror Partners, Auror Scorpius Malfoy, Cross-Generation Relationship, Draco Malfoy is a Good Parent, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Getting Together, Harry Potter Epilogue Compliant, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Compliant, Hogwarts, M/M, Masturbation, Ministry of Magic, POV Scorpius Malfoy, Pining, Scorpius Malfoy & Albus Severus Potter Friendship, Scorpius Malfoy Centric, Sexy Harry Potter, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Switching, Tattoos, Thirsty Scorpius Malfoy, check notes for warnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-01-31 08:02:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 57,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21442897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ringelchen/pseuds/ringelchen
Summary: Scorpius Malfoy is visiting his best mate during summer hols when he makes a discovery that would change his whole life: He's got a crush on Harry Potter.
Relationships: Scorpius Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 118
Kudos: 358





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is Harry Potter and The Cursed Child compliant but rest assured, you can still follow the plot even if you haven't seen or watched CC.
> 
> **Warning** (slightly spoilery): I did not use the "Underage" warning because Scorpius and Harry do NOT sleep with each other or have a romantic relationship while Scorpius is still underage. Everything that happens between them, sexually and romantically, happens when Scorpius is a legal adult! However, they form a close relationship starting when Scorpius is 16. Also, there are mentions of sex between two underage boys and one very explicit masturbation scene of underage Scorpius. 
> 
> Make sure to check out this awesome [digital art](https://lordofthegoods.tumblr.com/post/623189650370117632/commissioned-kidovna-to-draw-scorpius-and-harry) of Scorpius and Harry that kidovna drew for this story!
> 
> Last but not least, I want to thank my great betas, René and Kevin for listening to me complain about this story. You guys are the best!

There it was. The moment Scorpius Malfoy had been waiting for since… well, since a few years, really. Rose was straddling his lap and snogging him with the perfection that she put into everything she did. While stroking him right behind his ear with her left hand, her other one clawed into the front of his robes. Their bodies had gotten closer and closer so that now they were almost pressed together from top to bottom with Scorpius sliding back in his seat every time she tried to close that last distance left between them. However, now Scorpius had nowhere left to slide, with his back pressed firmly against the wooden head of the bed, so that finally, with a slight moan escaping her lips, Rose leaped forward until she was all snug against him. A shudder that definitely wasn’t caused by pleasure went through Scorpius and his tongue stopped moving against hers.

Rose must have noticed his hesitance because she stopped as well and separated their lips. Gasping for air she asked, “What is it?”

_What is it_, _indeed_, Scorpius thought before he shook his head, trying to ignore the inner voice that was telling him _wrong, wrong, wrong!_ and he pressed their lips together again. They quickly got back into it, or at least Scorpius was trying very hard to, when after a few more minutes, he felt her hand sneak from his chest down to his-

“Stop!” he shouted and startled Rose as well as himself. He didn’t really know what was wrong but something was off and he was not about to have his first time feeling so… uncomfortable.

“Oopsie! Sorry,“ he forced out in a laugh but went quiet quickly when he saw the look on Rose’s face. Her lips were pressed together in a thin line. She looked a mix of embarrassed and furious, which frightened him because he had often seen those expressions separately but never mixed into that very terrifying mask of horror. Scorpius kept silent as Rose scrambled to her feet, adjusted her robes with her nose held high, and then stormed out of the room without another word.

A breath of relief escaped his lips and Scorpius finally allowed himself to fall back into the bed and cover his eyes with a trembling hand.

_Relief, really?_ That wasn’t how ruining their plans to sleep together for the first time should have felt. But undoubtedly, that was exactly what he was feeling at that moment. Incredibly glad that he did not have to go through with it.

He didn’t move from his spot for at least another half an hour, all the while trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with him.

◊ ◊ ◊

“So, tell me again,” Albus pondered, his voice quiet in an effort to keep his siblings, who were lying in their beds on the other side of the room from hearing, “why did you stop your girlfriend from shagging you when that’s all you’ve been talking about for the past six weeks?”

“Good question.” Scorpius turned to look at his friend next to him on the queen-sized bed and tried to imagine what Albus’ expression would be if the room weren’t pitch black. The Burrow had only so many rooms and during the summer holidays it got extremely crowded with all of the Weasleys coming for a visit. They were sharing a room with both Lily and James, who were already asleep in their separate beds. It was the middle of the night and James always insisted on drawing the blinds completely shut, so Scorpius could barely see his own hand in front of his face.

“I told you, you and Rose wouldn’t work out,” his best friend whispered. Scorpius wanted to tell him that that wasn’t the problem, but what did Scorpius really know. If he couldn’t even figure out why he had felt utter horror the moment the girlfriend he should be in love with had tried to touch his cock, then Scorpius just couldn’t be trusted to be consulted on his own relationship.

“I just don’t understand why she got that angry,” Scorpius whined, thinking back to how Rose had sought him out hours after the incident and told him that it was over because she wasn’t interested in playing childish games and wanted a normal adult relationship that included sex. _I am tired of waiting around for you,_ she had said with an annoyed tone, like they’d been dating for years instead of six weeks. And then she had just walked out on him.

“Scorpius, you’re a sappy romantic, and Rose is all,” he felt Albus move his hand about, probably trying to make a precise gesture to tell him what he couldn’t put into words before he seemed to realise that Scorpius couldn’t possibly see him and concluded, “business!” He let his hand drop. “You know she has her whole life planned out. Be Quidditch captain by year six. Join the Holyhead Harpies after graduation.” Scorpius knew that was true. “She probably has a checklist that says _July 22nd: Shag Scorpius Malfoy_ and you just messed that up for her.”

All of that was likely, but it still didn’t make this outcome any less frustrating. Scorpius had been so excited when she had asked him out, right before the end of their fifth year. He had thought she was finally returning his feelings and their beautiful love story could start, but instead, here he was, not two months later, dumped because he hadn’t wanted to shag her on Percy Weasley’s old wiry mattress.

“It just didn’t feel right. What was I supposed to do? Just let her have her way with me and take my flower?” Scorpius was starting to feel angry rather than frustrated now. His friend was supposed to be on his side, why was he excusing Rose’s behaviour?

“No, you did the right thing not _giving her your flower_,” Albus quickly replied, the mocking in his voice impossible to miss. But then he sighed because he had probably picked up on the change in Scorpius’ mood. “You don’t owe her anything. I’m just saying that I warned you about her.” And Scorpius could feel Albus shrug in front of him.

He said nothing to that.

Not in a million years had he thought his first romantic relationship would turn out like this.

After a few minutes of quiet, Scorpius noticed Albus’ breathing had turned slower and more even. Turning on his back, he glanced at the ceiling that had those shiny muggle star-shaped stickers stuck to it that Arthur had been obsessed with and put up into all of his children’s bedrooms many decades ago.

Thinking about the chance for a great romance that had just slipped past him, Scorpius felt a few tears roll down the side of his face. It didn’t take him long to realise that his sadness had nothing to do with losing Rose, though, but everything to do with the fear that there was something else lurking in the dark of Scorpius’ mind that would change his life forever.

Feeling scared and guilty, Scorpius fell into a dreamless sleep.

◊ ◊ ◊

He spent the following week with the Potters and Weasleys at the Burrow, trying to come to terms with the fact that he was yet again single and that something was wrong with him for being the only teenage boy his age who had not jumped at the idea of shagging his girlfriend. Thankfully, it didn’t take Scorpius long to figure out what exactly that was.

On July 31st 2022, Harry Potter celebrated his 42nd birthday. It was a sunny day in Devon so Molly had conjured an enormous table that accommodated the whole family and sat it outside of the Burrow. They were singing _Happy Birthday_ to Harry when Teddy suddenly apparated out of nowhere and smacked a blue cream pie into Harry’s face, running off towards the house hysterically. Everybody was laughing and screaming, food was being thrown and Scorpius could already hear his dad scold him for ruining his expensive clothes, but at that moment all he wanted was to feel the joy of a huge happy family who all loved each other, who loved _him, _and feel like one of their own. He just wanted to forget all the confusing and scary thoughts that had been haunting him.

Seizing a handful of chocolate ice cream from the bowl in front of him, he made for his first target and then felt the cold mush connect with the face of James Potter who turned to him, an insane look on his face. “Oh no, you didn’t!”

Moments later, he found himself in a neck lock, James shoving a big portion of ice cream down his shirt, making Scorpius scream in shock and bliss at the sudden refreshing coldness that was running down his back. “Take that, Malfoy!”.

He had just escaped the grasp of Albus’ brother when he looked up and saw Harry at the other end of the table, pulling off his cake-smeared t-shirt and revealing a huge stag tattoo peeking out from underneath his chest hair. Scorpius heart skipped a beat as he watched Harry throw the piece of fabric to the side before he launched himself at Teddy, picking the grown man up like he weighed nothing and throwing him over his shoulder. Harry looked so free and happy, his face pulled into a wide grin and his eyes twinkling with life.

With Harry in such a clear view, the sunlight dancing on his bronze skin and Scorpius’ heart beating faster than usual, the realisation hit him like a Bludger in the face. He finally understood why he and Rose hadn’t worked out and what hidden desires had been keeping Scorpius’ on the edge for the past days.

There was nothing wrong with _him _per se. _Rose_ had just been the wrong choice as a romantic partner for him. Because what Scorpius wanted was someone like Harry. Someone who could make him feel safe and protected. Someone who was tall and broad. Someone who was strong enough to pick him up and carry him around.

“A bloke,” Scorpius whispered to himself and barely registered that Albus had come to a halt next to him and was looking at him in question at his sudden silence. “Albus?” Scorpius said, still starring at Harry who had now, somehow, summoned a huge pool and was making quite the show out of running towards it and dumping Teddy, who was screaming bloody murder, right into it.

“Scorpius?”

He turned to his friend and admitted in a whisper, “I think I might be into blokes.”

The moment those words had left his lips, he knew that they were true. For one, they felt more right than anything he had ever felt with Rose, and second, Scorpius couldn’t ignore the feeling of his cock reacting to the display of Harry Potter half-naked, more fit than most Quidditch players.

For a second, Albus looked a little taken aback and it scared Scorpius. Maybe Albus wouldn’t be as accepting as he had thought, or as he would have thought if Scorpius had even had enough time to think about it before he had confessed this to his best mate. But it only took his friend a split second before he was smiling back at Scorpius.

And then he shoved a piece of pie in Scorpius’ face.

◊ ◊ ◊

“Are you sure?” Albus asked him, rubbing his chin between his forefinger and thumb while looking down at the rising and falling chest of his sleeping dad.

It was the day after Scorpius’ huge gay revelation and Albus had woken him up at 7 AM in the morning, having the urge to take a swim. Scorpius and him had put on their swimming trunks and gone down to make use of the giant pool Harry had conjured the day before only to discover that someone had already vanished it.

So now, according to Albus, the only logical step to take was to wake his sleeping father and demand he conjures another one. But on their way back up into the room that Harry and Ginny were currently sharing, they had discovered Albus’ dad sleeping on the sofa in the living room, a thin layer of blankets wrapped around his thighs and knees, barely covering his crotch, for which Scorpius was unthinkably thankful for. As much as he would have liked to get a peak at Harry’s nether regions, he was not ready to admit the sexual attraction he felt towards Harry to Albus yet.

Albus was still staring at his dad when suddenly the hand that had been fondling his own chin shot down to slightly pull at his dad’s chest hair. “Men are so hairy and sweaty. You sure you’re into this?”

For some reason, Scorpius couldn’t take his eyes off of the display in front of him. Albus’ fingers tugged at the dark locks of his father’s chest hair, right between his pecs. It was an intoxicating sight even if slightly disturbing.

“Yea,” he nodded and swallowed hard, “Definitely. No doubt at all. Clear as glass. Hard as stone. Slimy as Gillyweed. This is it. Flat chest. Sweat. Hair. I want all of it. Preferably in my mouth,“ he stopped himself as he noticed that he’d started babbling and that Albus was just staring at him in silence, “but not in a gross way!” He tried to ease the blow. “In a very appropriate and romantic way!”

His friend’s hand stilled and Scorpius looked up at his face. Albus had furrowed his eyebrows in a very Albus-y way that usually meant that he thought someone had said or done something stupid. And then, as if in slow motion, it turned into disgust. Scorpius’ heart stopped beating for a second.

“I just realised something horrific,” Albus whispered and looked down at his dad again. “I’ll be just as disgustingly hairy as him once I’m all grown up, won’t I?”

A bark of laughter left Scorpius’ lips, relief washing over him once more and he sacked into his knees a little. “Don’t worry, Albus, I bet a lot of women are into it.”

A small smile played on Albus’ lips but his eyebrows were still pulled together as his fingers continued their ministration of his dad’s chest hair. “I don’t care. I’m gonna shave it all off anyway.”

Grinning, Scorpius tried very hard not to look at Harry Potter’s chest when Albus went on, “I bet he’s got hair in his arse crack as well.” And as he looked down at his dad, for a second there Scorpius feared that Albus might want to check - with Scorpius standing right there! - but before anything more inappropriate could happen, a glint of something mischievous blinked in Albus’ eyes. And then the fingers curled into his dad’s chest hair gripped and pulled and Harry Potter awoke with a loud yell.

“Fucking bullocks, this hurts like shit, fuck-“ Harry moaned in pain and when he realised what was happening, that his son and his best friend were standing next to him and Albus had woken him up in maybe the worst way possible with a smug little smile on his face, Harry just growled, “Albus.”

“We wanna go swim, old man! Pool! Now!” Albus shouted at his face and then ran off in a flair of maniac laughter, probably thinking Harry would chase him.

Scorpius looked at Harry Potter and Harry Potter looked back at him and there was a tired sort of smile on his face as he blinked up at Scorpius and said, “Remember when he used to be really depressed and didn’t want to have anything to do with me?” Scorpius nodded and Harry’s face broke into a sarcastic grin when he said, “Never thought I would miss those times.” And then he broke off into a run and Scorpius watched as the two chased each other through the Burrow and woke up the whole Weasley clan in a matter of seconds with Scorpius heart pounding hard at the sight of their happiness.

◊ ◊ ◊

Life as a gay boy at boarding school was… different. Unlike his straight roommates, who had to resort to smuggling muggle porno magazines into their beds, Scorpius had infinite opportunities to get himself all riled up for a hot wank by ogling naked boys in the showers or their room while changing their clothes. Or so he had thought.

Unfortunately for Scorpius, he quickly found that he liked his men broad, strong and… well, more manly than what Hogwarts had to offer. It was almost no wonder he had never noticed his sexuality before. It was not like kids his age usually looked like the type that made Scorpius’ loins tingle, with their unproportionate lanky bodies and their soft babyfaces. There were, however, a few seventh-year boys in the Slytherin Quidditch team that came at least close to that image. Yet, weirdly enough, nobody affected him as Harry Potter had back at the Burrow.

After his birthday, Scorpius had only stayed with the Potter-Weasleys for a few more days in which he had tried to spend as much time with Harry as possible, hoping to get another look at that tattoo. Not a single opportunity having made itself clear by the morning he was to leave for the Manor, Scorpius had blurted out, “Please Harry, can I see your tattoo again?” Ginny had laughed so hard she had almost knocked over her glass of orange juice.

Harry hadn’t looked embarrassed at all, only asking, “Which one?” with a wink and then proceeded to eat his pancakes.

Needless to say, his request had been ignored and Scorpius had not seen his—apparently multiple!— tattoos again.

“Do you think there are any other gay boys at Hogwarts?” Scorpius asked Albus on a Saturday night after they had come back from Hogsmeade and were squeezed into one armchair in the Slytherin common room together.

Albus swallowed the head of his chocolate frog before he shrugged his shoulders, “I bet. The question is, how are you gonna find them? None of them are out.”

That was the problem.

“I’ve been thinking,” Scorpius said and then looked around, “of coming out myself.” At that Albus stopped chewing and looked at his friend with wide eyes. “I don’t think anybody will think twice about it and I know it would make me feel better. Not having to hide, you know?”

Nodding, Albus leaned against Scorpius’ shoulder and popped the last piece of his snack in his mouth, “Have you told your dad yet?”

“No,” Scorpius sighed. He had been thinking about how to break the news to his dad. Surely, his dad would accept it and still love him the same. After all, he knew that he was the most precious person in his father’s life but… it still filled him with dread, the possibility of disappointing his father. “I was thinking of writing him a letter.”

“Well,” Albus was looking at him now. “As long as he hears it from you. I think my dad would flip out if he heard such important information about his kids from someone else or worse-“ Albus paused for dramatic effect—something he had been doing more often recently, probably due to Scorpius’ influence,—“from the Prophet!”

A laugh escaped his lips at the image of Harry reading news about his kid’s sexuality in the morning Prophet and going bat shit crazy before flying over himself and confronting them about it. “I highly doubt the Prophet would care about _my_ sexuality.”

Albus shrugged his shoulders again, “Who knows? You _are_ a Malfoy and homosexuality is still a huge deal in our backward society, so I wouldn’t put it past them.”

_Right_, Scorpius thought but felt he was much more interested in something else.

“Do you think Harry would mind?” Scorpius asked quietly, not really knowing why his thoughts had taken him in that direction and seeing a similar wonder in Albus’ eyes. “I mean if one of his kids turned out to be gay. Do you think he would be disappointed?”

Albus was opening his second chocolate frog when he looked up with a snort, “Seeing that my dad is bisexual, that would be quite hypocritical of him, don’t you think?”

Scorpius almost choked on a bit of spit right then.

“Wait,” he stammered and was searching for a sign in Albus’ face that told him he had made that up but he looked completely serious. “Are you for real? Harry is bisexual?”

“Oh,” Albus reacted as if he had made a mistake. “You didn’t know? I thought,” he stopped and looked around before he continued more quietly. “I thought everybody knew? There were articles about him dating a guy in the Prophet before he got together with my mum.”

Dumbfounded, Scorpius let his mouth drop open and continued in a voice that came out more like a shrill than expected. “And after all this talk about me wondering about other homosexuals, you didn’t think it would have been appropriate to bring up that your dad - that Harry Potter, the saviour of the wizarding world! - liked cock?”

“Ew.” A disgusted noise sounded from Albus’ lips and his face scrunched up in a painful expression. “Don’t talk about my dad liking any kind of genitalia please,” he started before he added, “and I really thought you knew! Everybody knows!”

Scorpius spluttered as he was sure that that couldn’t be true. After all he had read many books about Harry in his early childhood and none had mentioned that in the slightest. But then two first-year girls on a nearby sofa turned to him and said, “Yea, it's common knowledge.” “My uncle says he snogged Harry Potter at a bar once!” They turned away again, giggling.

“See?” Albus said, pointing at the girls with a disturbed smile on his face. “Everybody knows!”

“Well, drown me in a pool of troll snot!” Scorpius gasped, feeling as dumbstruck as he had felt when he had first found out that Santa had just been a crazy wizard with a time-turner.

Harry Potter liked cock and Scorpius felt like he didn’t know the world anymore.

◊ ◊ ◊

A few days later, after pondering and pondering how to break the news to his dad—the news about his own sexuality, not Harry’s! Though Scorpius couldn’t help but wonder whether his dad knew and if he did, why in Merlin’s beard he had never mentioned it—Scorpius sent an owl to his dad. Short and sweet he wrote:

_Dear father,_

_It seems I like my ladies like I like my fish. Not at all. But sausages, yes, I do like me some sausages. And of course, I am referring both to the literal and the metaphorical sausage here. I have no doubt that you can identify the meaning behind that metaphor. _

_Albus says hi._

_Love,_

_Scorpius_

Scorpius was a shaking mess until the next morning. He dreaded his father’s reply more than he had expected and not even Albus could distract him from the horror scenarios that he was picturing in his head. His dad writing how disappointed he was in Scorpius. His dad disowning him. Obviously, Scorpius was aware that it was very unlikely that his father would react that way but unfortunately that didn’t stop him from thinking about it any less.

Finally, at breakfast in the Great Hall his owl dropped off the dreaded reply from his father.

_Dear Scorpius,_

_I am surprised to hear that. I was of the impression that you were still dating Rose Granger-Weasley and rather smitten with her. Anyway, I’m sorry for just assuming on my own accord and thank you for telling me. Know that I am proud of you. This must have taken a lot of courage to tell me._

_On another note, I’m about to send another owl with your favourite sweets. Please enclose a list of items that you would like me to include in your next parcel. _

_Whatever your reply, please know that I don’t mind your preference in… sausages. _

_I love you always._

_Say Hi back to Albus._

_Dad_

Scorpius clutched the letter to his chest and thanked Merlin for having the most incredible dad in the world before he shared the wonderful news with his friend.

◊ ◊ ◊  
  


That Christmas was the first time everybody noticed that something wasn’t right in the Potter household. The atmosphere was everything but festive despite Ginny having gone out of her way to make the usually dull Grimmauld Place look as bright and warm as the Burrow, with magically summoned fairy lights, mistletoe, and all kinds of Christmassy crap plastered all over the place, almost to a disturbing extent. Harry and Ginny were barely talking to each other and Scorpius once overheard Teddy and James talking about _something something divorce! something something_. Looking back, it had been a bad sign that Ginny had made Harry sleep on the sofa on his own birthday in the summer.

It was the second day of Christmas and Albus was busy playing a round of exploding snap with his siblings when Scorpius came back into the room with a mug of hot chocolate just to notice that Harry was sitting outside on the terrace, alone.

Looking over his shoulder and making sure that Albus was preoccupied one more time, Scorpius turned towards the door and walked out into the cold crisp air where Harry was staring out into the dark garden.

“What are you doing here alone, Harry?” Scorpius asked and held out his mug of steaming liquid towards the man. Harry seemed surprised to see him before he smiled.

“Just thinking,” Harry said and took the chocolate from Scorpius. It was obvious that he was troubled. He took a long sip of cocoa before handing the mug back, “Why are you not playing with the other kids?”

“Oh, I was but then I lost,” Scorpius shrugged in nervous laughter, “Exploding Snap. One of the many things I do not excel in.”

That made a smile appear on Harry’s lips before he chuckled, “Same here.”

They sat in silence for a while with Harry starring at the leaves moving in the wind and Scorpius staring at Harry. Occasionally, they passed the mug back and forth until it was almost empty and Scorpius finally scrapped up all the courage to ask, “Are you alright?”

Harry stared at him for a long moment before he smiled a little and breathed, “I honestly don’t know.” He didn’t look away immediately and Scorpius wondered what he was thinking precisely at that moment while looking into Scorpius’ eyes like he was really looking at him for the first time, which Scorpius realised that… maybe he was. Maybe up until now Scorpius had only ever been Draco’s weird cheerful son that Albus seemed to like. But now suddenly, by asking Harry a personal question, he had turned into… something else. Maybe something more.

“Albus loves you. And so do Lily and James. They won’t love you less for,” Scorpius had wanted to continue with _leaving Ginny and moving out _but he realised that while he’d been speaking Harry’s eyes had gone really wide and his face really pale. It didn’t seem like Harry had been aware that everybody knew that there was trouble in paradise especially not that weird blond kid. So to not shock him any more than he apparently already had, he concluded, “anything. They won’t stop loving you for anything. Because you are their dad. A great dad.”

For a moment it looked like Harry was going to just keep looking at Scorpius with that dumfounded expression on his face. Scorpius feared he had overstepped a line, already practicing an apology for being too nosy in his head when the man’s lips finally turned into a wide smile and he whispered, “Thanks, Scorp.”

At that smile, and that tone, and that nickname, Scorpius’ heart started beating hard in his chest. He shook his head as if to say _Don’t mention it_ and Harry finally looked away again, taking a long sip from the mug of cocoa before he pulled back his hand and looked into it with a frown. “Sorry, I finished it.” He stood up, pushing off the blanket that had been wrapped around his shoulders on the small bench and Scorpius quickly followed suit. “Let me make you a new one.”

Harry walked past Scorpius to get to the door but Scorpius had formed the same plan of getting another drink for them at the exact same time and grasped for the mug, so that now the two of them were squeezed together in the entrance to the house, hands touching over the still-warm mug and looking at each other.

Until that day, Scorpius had always thought Albus’ eyes were just as green as his dad’s but being so close to Harry for the first time in his life, he noticed that that was not, in fact, true. The green of Harry’s eyes was much more intense and made Scorpius feel like he was staring into the depth of the ocean.

“Close the door, it’s getting cold,” James called from the living room and Scorpius suddenly noticed that he was staring open-mouthed at Harry while holding his hands. He snapped them back so fast, he would have tripped back if it wasn’t for the fact that he was already leaning against one side of the doorway.

“Are you ok?” It was Harry who mouthed the question this time. He gazed down at him in wonder before he put the back of his hand against Scorpius’ forehead. “You are really red.” A gasp escaped Scorpius’ lips, and he felt every place Harry had touched burn like fire—his hands, his forehead.

“I’m splendid. Never better,” he spluttered out, hoping that it sounded convincing before he forced a smile on his lips that probably made him look like he was constipated, because that was exactly what Scorpius felt like at that moment. There was something there in his head that wanted to come out, that wanted to be put into words or at least into thoughts, but it just wouldn’t and it made Scorpius squirm.

Looking unsure at first, Harry finally nodded slowly. And then he just had to glance up following which his face broke into a grin. “You know what this means?” he asked, pointing at the twig over his head. Right at the moment that Scorpius saw the mistletoe dangling right above their heads, Harry had already leaned forward and said, “Come here, kiddo,” before pressing a wet smack on his still burning forehead, right where his fingers had been only moments ago.

The touch was short, hard, and way too wet and if anybody but Harry had done it, Scorpius would have grunted in disgust and pulled away immediately. Instead, he heard Lily and Albus, who must have witnessed the attack on Scorpius, make similarly grossed-out sounds from somewhere in the living room.

Harry laughed and finally left for the kitchen, probably to make the promised mug of cocoa, but Scorpius was dumbstruck, breathing unevenly as he made the second huge discovery about himself that year.

“Scorpius Malfoy,” he mumbled to himself, a hand clutching at the shirt above his heart like he was a character from a tragic romance movie, “you’ve got a crush on your best mate’s dad!”

And with that, finally, that feeling of mental constipation was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading.  
Kudos and comments make my day :)


	2. Chapter 2

The official news of Harry and Ginny’s divorce came in late January, and was obviously blasted all over the front page of _ the Prophet _. Debates over what had separated the presumed soulmates filled the papers for the following two months, until a very annoyed Harry held a press conference explaining, “We have naturally grown apart, we still love each other, just not in that way. Please refrain from bothering us anymore, thanks.” 

This, of course, didn’t stop Skeeter from writing a handful more articles about them, until they suddenly… stopped. Scorpius couldn’t help but think that Hermione had used her position as Minister of Magic to call a halt to it.

Some days after that Albus told him that Harry had moved out of Grimmauld Place and bought his late parent’s house in Godric’s Hollow. That was surprising news, seeing how many bad memories that place held, but it made Scorpius think of his father explaining to him why he could never give up the Manor, despite Voldemort himself having lived under its very roof decades ago. Some places are just too precious to abandon because of a few bad situations. “Just like people,” his dad had added quietly, many years ago, and Scorpius knew for a fact that his dad had been talking about Lucius.

Unlike Draco, Lucius and Narcissa did not react well to Scorpius’ coming-out. He wrote them a similar letter after Christmas because his dad had reacted so beautifully, and while their reply was polite, it was full of disappointment. _ Think about the Malfoy line _ and _ You won’t be able to find happiness _ and _ We only worry about you _ his grandmother had written in her beautiful handwriting, but Scorpius still dumped the letter in the fire with shaking fingers and decided that he wouldn’t talk to them for a while if it wasn’t absolutely necessary. 

Following that, his coming out at Hogwarts was… unexpectedly underwhelming. Scorpius was convinced he needed to make a big deal out of it so he ironed his robes and styled his hair perfectly the morning before he climbed onto the breakfast table in the Great Hall and shouted, “I’m gay!” from the top of his lungs. Some people started snickering, others looked at him like he was insane. Two people assured him that of course they had known all along, and three other kids approached him the following days and told him they too weren’t heterosexual. But all in all, nothing much changed for Scorpius.

Nothing besides that guilty feeling in his chest getting more and more painful everytime he looked at his best mate because he was keeping a huge secret from him. So, by the time their sixth year was over and Albus and Scorpius were boarding the Hogwarts Express to drive back home, Scorpius had decided it was time to tell his best friend about his crush.

They were sitting alone in their usual compartment, right at the back of the train, when Scorpius took all of his courage and said, “I’m in love with someone!”

He knew that he had busted it out way too loudly, and that Albus had been talking about his plans for the summer, but Scorpius had just needed to get it out.

“Oh,” was all Albus said before he turned quiet and looked at his friend. Scorpius looked back, waiting for him to ask whom with, but he didn’t. Instead, he said, “It’s not me, is it?”

“Please,” Scorpius laughed a little nervously as well as amused, “I’m not into small boys.”

“Alright, then who is it?” Albus asked, looking a little offended at the comment about his stature.

This was the hardest part.

“Promise not to freak out, though.”

“I promise.” Albus rolled his eyes and flashed him a grin again.

Scorpius swallowed, “Alright, then I’ll tell you,” he started and felt a few drops of sweat trickle down his temples, “Here I come,” he swallowed hard once more. Didn’t want saliva to impede his big confession. “I’m gonna tell you who it is right now so get ready.”

“Merlin, Scorpius! Just tell me already,” Albus laughed and finally Scorpius shouted:

“I’m in love with your dad!”

Albus’ face fell, and he stayed silent for many long moments.

This was bad.

Finally, after seconds that felt like hours, all Albus said was, “Ew,” and he looked out of the window.

“You seem… angry? Shocked? So overflowing with happiness that it has knocked the air out of your lungs?” Scorpius hadn’t expected this. He had expected a fight because he knew exactly how inappropriate his feelings were. After all, Harry was more than twice his age, and had recently divorced his best friend’s mum, but… just _ ew _?

“You know he won’t date you, right? He’s not into,” Albus gestured towards Scorpius, “kids.”

“Merlin, I know that!” Scorpius almost shouted in reply. “I’m not trying to date him!”

“Then why,” Albus started and sighed, “why did you have to tell me this? Don’t you realise how weird that would make me feel? How am I going to invite you over to my place this summer now if you’re going to be ogling my dad the whole time?”

That statement took Scorpius aback. “First of all,” he started, forcing himself to glare at his mate so he didn’t start crying, “you’re my best friend. I— I tell you everything.” He saw a hint of shame in Albus’ eyes before he continued, “And second, your dad isn’t even at Grimmauld Place anymore. I wouldn’t even be able to ogle him if I wanted to. And I would come visit _ you _ . Because _ you _are my friend. Not your dad.”

Still trying hard not to cry, Scorpius squeezed his eyes shut, as if that would make the tears stay inside. After a few seconds, he heard a rustle from Albus and then he was sitting next to him on his side of the compartment and pulled him into an embrace.

“I’m sorry, Scorpius. I get it. I’m stupid.” He patted his head and Scorpius opened his eyes, pulling back a little to look at Al, who seemed embarrassed about the way he had handled the situation. “It’s a little weird for me but I’ll be fine. It’s not like you’re dating him so it’s no big deal. Sorry for freaking out.”

Scorpius shook his head. “No, I get it too, it’s just— ,“ he wiped the tears from his face that had managed to spill past his lids and forced a smile for his friend, “I just want to you to know everything about me. You are the most important person in my life.”

Albus smiled back at him broadly before they hugged again, with fierceness, and Scorpius knew that he would be ok. _ They _ would be ok.

◊ ◊ ◊

A few weeks later, Albus sent him an owl, inviting him to come visit his dad’s place for the rest of the summer. Scorpius had not expected that, but he couldn’t help the small feeling of excitement that shot through him like electroshocks at the prospect of spending two weeks at Harry Potter’s bachelor pad.

His father was eyeing him suspiciously from the door while he was packing only his most beautiful clothes and an extra jar of hair gel. “Trying to impress someone?” he asked and Scorpius tried not to look sheepish.

“No, I just want to look good, that’s all.” He hoped he sounded truthful, but Draco pulled his brows up in doubt before he shrugged and turned away.

A few hours later, his father apparated them to Harry’s place and as the grown-ups were talking in the kitchen, both with a mug of tea in their hands, Albus and Scorpius sat in the living room, his mate telling him what his family had gotten up to in the past few weeks they had been apart. Scorpius was only half listening as he glanced over at Harry who, he noticed, had let his hair grow out long enough so that it was now tied together in a messy bun at the top of his head. Scorpius also noticed that he wasn’t wearing his glasses anymore, so his green eyes were, even from this distance, absolutely distracting. He looked nothing less than delicio— 

“You’ve been here less than 10 minutes, and you’ve literally not taken your eyes off my dad the whole time,” Albus growled, and his face was suddenly only an inch away from his, which made Scorpius snap out of it immediately.

“S-Sorry,” Scorpius laughed, trying to play it down. “It’s just, I haven’t seen him in so long and he looks so sexy with his— “

“Please,“ Albus looked about to throw up. “Please stop. My dad is honestly the most disgusting person on the planet.”

Scorpius gasped, “Are you in a coma, you tit? Have you seen the man?” He pointed over at their dads, realising too late that he had screamed those words, and the two men were now looking over at them. Draco had a brow pulled up, and Harry an amused grin on his face at Scorpius using an insult— a very rare occurrence. “Sorry— so sorry,” Scorpius called out to them quickly and let his arm drop, looking back at Albus, embarrassed.

“Sure, my dad is fit. Objectively,” Albus argued, completely ignoring what had just happened, and keeping up with their conversation. “But you haven’t lived with him. He burps at the kitchen table. He scratches his arse and then touches food. Once I saw him pick an apple that mum had tossed away out of the rubbish bin and eat it— ,“ Scorpius wanted to incline and say that maybe the apple had still been fine but Albus held up his palm flat in front of Scorpius’ face and stopped him “ — without washing it first!”

“Alright, that last one is a little gross, but all the other stuff seems perfectly normal to me?” Scorpius said, not at all impressed. Once you’ve lived in a dorm full of boys there was very little that could still disgust or shock you. Quite the contrary, now Scorpius just couldn’t help thinking about Harry’s fingers disappearing into his own pants to scratch at his full plump cheeks.

His friend looked at him like he had given up on the world and let himself drop back into the sofa, completely silent.

“Honestly, Albus, you should feel lucky. You look exactly like him. That means that one day, you will have just as brilliant of an arse as— “

“No!” Albus hissed, looking seriously disturbed. “I will not talk about my dad’s arse with you. Have some common sense, would you?”

Albus rarely snapped at him, so Scorpius knew that he was serious about this. He nodded and did his best not to get distracted by Harry again that day.

For the next two weeks, Scorpius tried to focus on Albus as much as he could. He really loved his friend, and he had meant it when he’d said that he wouldn’t visit for anybody but Albus, but still, it was hard not to get a little distracted when the literal star of your wet dreams was living under the same roof as you.

One evening, they were having dinner with all the Potter kids when Teddy was telling the second insane story about one of his and Harry’s Auror missions at the dinner table, and Scorpius asked without thinking:

“You think I could be an Auror?” 

Immediately, everybody’s eyes turned towards him, but Scorpius was only looking at Harry. He stared at him and when Harry’s lips pulled into a smile, Scorpius felt his heart hammer hard in his chest.

“With your head, my department would be lucky to have you, Scorp,” Harry said and Teddy met him by enthusiastic cheering.

“Seriously?” Albus asked in shock and disappointment from across the table and lightly slapped Scorpius’ hand, “I thought the two of us were going to stick together and work a desk job at the Ministry next to each other for the rest of our lives.” Everybody started laughing at that, including Scorpius who had never agreed to that. Actually, he realised then they had never really talked about their plans for the future, which, now that Scorpius thought about it, was probably due to him actually never even having thought further into the future than his life at Hogwarts.

However, somehow, the thought of becoming an Auror, using his brain, doing good, being by Harry’s side, seemed like the perfect plan and made a rush of excitement run through his veins.

“Oh, is Albus sad his boyfriend would rather play with us?” Teddy said in a mocking tone.

Joking, Scorpius replied, “Boyfriend? I might be gay but I’m not interested in boys.” And then he looked at Harry, nervous but still sure that he had nothing to fear. 

He could see the surprise in Harry’s eyes but before anybody could make a big deal out of Scorpius outing himself in front of the Potters, Teddy just tilted his head and laughed: “Says the boy.” Teddy winked and then he and James broke into laughter again.

Lily was grinning and Albus still looked a little disappointed at Scorpius’ sudden reveal about wanting to be an Auror, but Scorpius was busy paying attention to Harry, who had gone back to listening to Teddy’s tale while he frequently glanced over at Scorpius, with a small proud smile on his lips.

It made Scorpius feel like his heart had chosen wisely.

◊ ◊ ◊

It was days later, at the dinner table again, when Harry asked, “So Scorp, are you seriously thinking about becoming an Auror?”

“Yes,” he replied, spluttering because he was so excited that Harry remembered, “All the time. Constantly!” 

Since his spontaneous idea to become an Auror, he had researched the subjects he needed to get an O in, to get accepted to the Auror trainee program. He realised that it would be a lot of work, but somehow, the prospect of wearing those long spectacular Auror robes and working next to Harry made it all seem totally worth it.

“That’s great.” Harry smiled at him and Scorpius felt himself beaming back. “Listen, I can teach you some spells and tricks that will come in handy when you apply for the position next year. If you can pull them off, you’ll get accepted for sure,” he said as he gestured for the pepper mill and Scorpius quickly sprung up from his seat to hand it over to Harry.

Lily asked from across the table, “Can’t you just accept Scorpius into the program without making him do all that work? You are Head Auror after all.” 

Scorpius was about to decline and say that he wanted to earn it the fair way but Harry was faster than him.

“Being an Auror is a dangerous job, Lils. I can’t just accept kids to the program who are just going to end up getting seriously injured on the job.” He turned to Scorpius and added, “I’m afraid you must apply like everybody else,” before he stretched out his hand and requested, “Salt too, please.”

Scorpius immediately scrambled to his feet again and set the salt into Harry’s palm, his fingers brushing against his, sending a jolt through his body. “Yes, of course,” Scorpius said, all flustered, “I don’t want special treatment!” Then he held up a finger and sang, “Here is the salt, Harry. Use it wisely. My dad always says too much salt will damage your palate!”

James laughed at that before Harry showed Scorpius one of his rare wicked smiles. “Thanks for the tip,” he said, then added in a purr, “If you don’t pass, I can still make you my personal assistant. You are so thoughtful and obedient.”

Harry, James and Lily laughed, while Scorpius and Albus stayed awfully quiet for the rest of the meal, but for very different reasons. Scorpius could feel that Albus was very uncomfortable with Scorpius’ obvious display of weird-and-shy-teenager-in-love behaviour, but Scorpius just really couldn’t help it. Harry just made him feel like his whole body was on fire. And comments like _ that _made him think that maybe, some day…

“Scorpius,” Albus said when they were lying in bed that night. Scorpius turned to look at Al, who was staring at him from the bed on the other side of his room.

“Yes, Albus?”

“Please promise me something,” he started and Scorpius was afraid to hear the rest of it already, “Please don’t ever date my dad. Not now. Not in 10 years. Not _ever_.”

Scorpius felt his heart break a little at that request. On the one hand, he completely understood how weird all of this must be for Albus, but on the other hand, the thought of giving up every possibility, even the tiniest bit of hope of ever being with Harry, made him want to scream _ No, never! _

As unrealistic as them ending up together was, the thought that it might happen one day, in the distant future, still made his unrequited feelings hurt a little less.

“Scorpius?” Albus whispered into the night, and they were staring at each other from across the room. It was too bright to pretend to be sleeping and Scorpius wouldn’t risk his friendship for something that wasn’t ever going to happen anyway.

So, he said, “I promise,” with a dull pain throbbing in his chest and turned around, quietly crying himself to sleep.

◊ ◊ ◊

The following days, Scorpius noticed his behaviour towards Albus had changed. He wasn’t really angry at him, but somehow, in the aftermath, Scorpius was hurt by the fact that Albus had made him promise him he would never act on his feelings, just because his and Harry’s relationship would be a little awkward for him. Scorpius had realised by now that he was seriously in love with Harry. That this wasn’t just a simple crush anymore. But Albus treated it like it was a joke. Or maybe he saw exactly how serious Scorpius was, and not wanting to take any chances, Albus had made him promise to never be with the man he loved anyway. That didn’t make it better, though, only worse.

“You’re not concentrating,” Harry said to Scorpius from behind him, and grasped his wand arm even tighter, to recreate the wand movement one more time.

Harry’s body pressed against his from the back, and Scorpius felt dizzy. He was hard, fully hard, and he was so glad that he had worn his oversized muggle sweater that day, otherwise, Harry would’ve had a surprise coming.

It didn’t help that Albus was watching them from the other side of the room, a frown on his face at their close proximity.

“I— I’m trying,” Scorpius whined, and tried to do the Patronus spell for the tenth time that day, but only sparks of blue would come out of his wand.

_Finally_, Harry let go of him and stepped back. He looked concerned and asked, “Is there something on your mind? Are you not feeling well?”

_ Big yes to both _, Scorpius wanted to shout. His best friend had hurt him, and he was extremely turned on by his best friend’s dad, and both of them were staring at him like they were trying to perform Legilimency on him to figure out what was wrong with him. The situation was unnerving, to say the least.

“How about I get you guys some ice cream and we continue later if you feel up to it then, hm?” Harry proposed, and suddenly there was a strong hand ruffling through his hair. Harry pulled back pretty quickly, though, staring at Scorpius in wonder.

“Your hair is soft,” he said, and then, as if he was amused by his own reaction, Harry started laughing and left the room. 

If it wasn’t for Albus, Scorpius would have let himself drop to the floor, the tension in his body finally easing up with Harry being out of his personal space for the first time in over an hour. But Albus was already coming closer and then stopped in front of him with his arms crossed.

“What is it?” Scorpius asked, maybe a little annoyed. It was absolutely understandable that Albus didn’t want to talk about Scorpius’ romantic feelings for his dad, Scorpius got that! But why was he here, watching Scorpius freak out, if he wasn’t even going to let him vent with him a little? Was watching Scorpius squirm under Harry’s touch amusing to him?

But then, unexpectedly, his mate asked, “Do you want me to find an excuse so we can get out of here?” There was still that discontented frown on his face when he continued, “You seem really uncomfortable.”

“Well, yeah,” Scorpius replied, a little dumbstruck that, despite hating this, Albus was still being his good friend, trying to help him out of a difficult situation, “I think that might be a good idea, actually. Your dad has no boundaries when it comes to body contact, does he?” Finally, a smile made it to their lips as Scorpius chuckled, remembering Albus, Lily and James, always flinching away from Harry trying to hug or kiss them.

“When it comes to his kids, absolutely,” Albus replied with a snort before he seemed to realise that, “it seems like dad sees you like one of his kids then.”

Scorpius felt his heart drop down into his stomach, “Right,” he said and sighed, “of course.”

When Harry came back with the promised ice cream, the three of them sat down in the garden and ate for another twenty minutes, before Albus said that they had plans for the rest of the day and excused them. Harry looked a bit disappointed but wished them fun anyway, and Scorpius, for the first time in over a year, felt that maybe he could get over this unrequited love undamaged after all. As long as he had Albus to help him, he would be fine.

◊ ◊ ◊

During the last night of Scorpius’ stay at Godric’s Hollow, he couldn’t sleep. Having been woken up by a summer storm at around 3AM, he lay awake on the extra bed in Albus’ room, tossing and turning for at least an hour before he got up to make himself a cup of tea. Hopefully, that would help him fall asleep again later.

Only in a shirt and his pants, Scorpius quietly made his way towards the stairs and was surprised when he heard noises coming from Harry’s room. It sounded like a TV was on but Harry didn’t have a TV in his room, Scorpius was sure of that. 

The door wasn’t closed completely, thankfully, and even though it made him feel a little guilty, Scorpius quietly pushed the door open a little further so he could glimpse where the sound was coming from. 

The light next to Harry’s bed was turned on and from where he was standing, Scorpius couldn’t see Harry’s face, just his legs that were covered by a blanket and propped up on the soles of his feet, knees bent and covering the view of his upper body. The sounds seemed to come from Harry?

_ Oh wait _ , Scorpius remembered, maybe Harry was on his smartphone. Those things made sounds.

At first, Scorpius wasn’t sure what to do. He was really curious to find out what Harry was doing and why he was still awake in the middle of the night. But maybe the man just wanted to be alone and would feel disturbed by Scorpius walking in on his alone time. But then, on second thought, Harry had never minded his company, quite the contrary. 

So, with a hard swallow, Scorpius knocked softly against the wood of the door and pushed it open so he could walk through. Harry’s head immediately shot up at the sound to look at him. “Scorpius.”

“Hi,” he said sheepishly, stopping by the foot of the bed and watching Harry scramble up into a sitting position.

He had been right, Harry was holding his phone in his hand but quickly set it down on his nightstand, his other hand shooting up from below the blanket.

“Is something wrong?” Harry asked, a slight frown on his face, but Scorpius didn’t think any of it and shook his head. 

“No, the storm is just really loud, and don’t tell anybody, but thunder gives me the creeps. Can’t fall asleep anymore,” Scorpius said and boldly sat down at the end of the bed. For a second it looked like Harry felt uncomfortable by that, because he pulled up his legs again and grasped the blanket so it couldn’t move away from his body.

And then, the realisation of what he had just walked in on hit Scorpius.

Harry was staring at him, pupils wide and body extremely tense, probably trying very hard not to freak out at his son’s best friend almost having caught him mid-wank. He was probably trying to hide his boner, Scorpius realised in absolute shock. 

Merlin, Scorpius felt so embarrassed and guilty for not even having waited for his reply before just walking in on the man.

But somewhere, deeply buried under all the shame and guilt, lay arousal at the thought of what Harry had just been doing.

The right thing to do would have been to leave, for sure. They were both uncomfortable, and Scorpius really didn’t want to cause any weird tension between the two of them, but… 

“Do you have trouble sleeping, Harry?” Scorpius asked, deciding to feign ignorance. After all, the only way to not make this situation any weirder than it was, was probably by pretending that Scorpius did not understand what was going on. If he were to suddenly storm out and start spluttering, Harry would get that he knew what he’d been doing and be embarrassed. Scorpius didn’t want that.

“Sometimes,” Harry answered and went silent again. It was obvious that he didn’t want to have a conversation now, and for the first time since Scorpius had spent time at his place, Harry probably found him to be an annoying little bugger. 

But then Harry sighed and his legs stretched out a little, seemingly having accepted that Scorpius would not leave.

“I’ve always been a very light sleeper,” Harry started again and there was an almost sad expression on his face. “It got better after I moved in with Ginny, but since the divorce I haven’t been able to fall asleep again, and now the Healers say I can’t take anymore Dreamless Sleep. So, here I am,” he held up his arms demonstratively before he let them drop heavily to his sides, “trying to, you know— ,“ he pointed to the smartphone, a slight blush on his cheeks again, “distract myself by playing stupid games on my smartphone, and hopefully fall asleep soon.”

There was a pause, in which Scorpius wasn’t sure whether he had heard it right, because he had been so sure that Harry had been wanking. “You were playing a smartphone game just now?”

“Yeah.” Harry took hold of his phone again, pressing its sole button and a bright blue screen with a fat crying baby in the middle showed up.

It would have been a lie to say that Scorpius wasn’t a little disappointed to find out that his fantasy about Harry hadn’t been true. However, Scorpius got the feeling that he was still witnessing a side of Harry the man would have wanted to keep private. There was somewhat of an overwhelmingly crushing quality to his gaze as Harry looked at Scorpius and then down at his lap again.

_ Merlin _ , Scorpius realised, and his heart ached with it, _ he is so lonely _.

“I mean, they’re alright,” Harry said quietly, breaking the short silence and putting his smartphone away again. “The games are alright. But,” he sighed, running fingers through his messy hair, “I just wish my life wasn’t so goddamn difficult all the time. I just want to _ sleep _.”

Scorpius asked, “So this has been going on since the divorce?” hoping that he wasn’t overstepping, though Harry had been the one to start sharing.

Harry nodded.

“You think the problem is that you can’t sleep well alone?” 

The man shrugged, adding a sigh that basically confirmed Scorpius’ suspicion.

“Then,” Scorpius started, and he knew how weird he would sound, but also, Harry was so sad and lonely and it was breaking his heart—Furthermore, as selfish as that thought was, maybe this was a once in a lifetime opportunity for Scrorpius,—“I can sleep with you.”

To no one’s surprise, that suggestion was met with stunned silence, and it took Scorpius a few seconds of watching Harry’s eyes go wider and wider to realise how that could have come across.

“Of— Of course I mean to lie down with you and hold you until you fall asleep,” Scorpius added in a panic. “Not— Not sleep _ with _ you as in, you know, penis-stuff.”

And finally, that broke Harry’s silence as he burst out laughing.

Despite Harry’s obvious amusement, or maybe because of it, Scorpius wanted to fall into a very deep hole and die. Maybe Scorpius would have even fled the room in embarrassed horror if it wasn’t for that spark of relief, triggered by Harry’s sudden change of mood, that made Scorpius stay.

“Alright,” Harry managed to work out in chokes of laughter, “get in here then. I promise I won’t try any penis-stuff, Scorp,” and he was still chuckling, at the same time pulling the blanket to the side to make space for Scorpius who had turned so red, he probably looked like a human-shaped strawberry.

“Can’t promise the same thing,” Scorpius squeaked, in an attempt to ease the tension by humour, but Harry’s sudden hiccup told him that, yet again, it had come across the wrong way. He was already kneeling next to Harry—who, disappointingly, was not naked but wearing a pair of grey pyjama bottoms—when he thought maybe he should leave after all. His hands fisted into the blanket and lips pressed together in a tight line, Scorpius felt more embarrassed than he remembered ever having felt before. 

But then a soft smile played on Harry’s lips and he extended his hand, grasped Scorpius by the wrist and pulled him down next to him.

For the first few minutes, Scorpius felt incredibly awkward. Yes, this had been his suggestion, but actually lying next to Harry, only inches apart, while Harry smiled at him and Scorpius looked back nervously, was really nerve-wracking.

He had said that he would hold Harry until he fell asleep, but was he actually going to hold him? Like, put his hands around him? Hug him? Hold Harry to his chest like a baby? Spoon him?

“You know, I think it’s been at least five years since any of my children climbed into bed with me in the middle of the night because the thunder scared them,” Harry chuckled, and for a second Scorpius felt saddened, both at the realisation how lonely Harry was and at the fact that, yet again, Harry was comparing him to his kids.

For Scorpius, this was an incredibly sexual situation, but for Harry, this was a reminder of what it was like to nurse his children.

But Scorpius knew that. He was 16. Harry wouldn’t see him that way.

“I think the last time I slept in the same bed as my dad, I was … 12?” Scorpius tried to remember and saw Harry surprised by that statement.

“Really,” he started and looked up, “somehow I didn’t imagine Draco to be the cuddling type.”

“He isn’t, really,” Scorpius said, a half-smile playing on his lips as he thought of his dad before he continued, “it was the night after my mum died.” He saw Harry swallow, not knowing what to say, so Scorpius continued, “Mum always used to be the one to hug and kiss me a lot. For dad it was, I guess, weird? Because his parents never did that.” He thought of how hard Draco’s childhood must have been, so deprived of love. “But since my mum’s death, he’s changed. We hug all the time now. When he dropped me off here, he even kissed me on the forehead.” 

“Hm.” Harry was smiling now, and suddenly Scorpius saw his hand come up from below the blanket and lift it up to Scorpius’ head to stroke through his hair. “It sounds like you really love your dad, huh?”

“Yes,” he said immediately. “He’s perfect.”

Harry’s eyes looked sad for a moment, and Scorpius wondered where that emotion came from, but then he sighed loudly, almost comically, and the fingers that had been stroking through the strands of hair behind Scorpius’ ear disappeared as he dropped his arm down next to his body dramatically. “_ Perfect _, huh? It finally happened. Draco bested me in something besides potions!” Harry laughed at the ceiling before his gaze was on Scorpius again. “My kids probably think I’m annoying and gross.”

“Well,” Scorpius started, remembering Albus using those exact words to talk about Harry. The man’s smile turned into an amused grin at Scorpius basically confirming his comment. “_ I _ think you’re brilliant!”

“_ You _ are not my kid,” Harry laughed and Scorpius knew, it was only a small comment, but it made his heart skip a beat and his smile widen. “But I might just pretend you are for the night, so come here,” he chuckled, and before Scorpius’ good mood could falter, he was being pulled against Harry’s strong naked chest. Harry’s hand was in his hair again, pressing Scorpius’ face in the crook of his neck while his other arm came up to hold him around the hip.

Harry’s scent and strong arms now engulfed Scorpius, and for a moment, he forgot how to breathe. They were pressed together, literally from head to toe, and though for Harry this was probably a completely innocent situation, all Scorpius could think about was how this was probably what it felt like to hold someone you loved while falling asleep together. Maybe after having been intimate.

But he really had to stop thinking about that because otherwise he’d be poking Harry in the dick with his boner. 

Forcing yourself to think of something unsexy, while being hugged and stroked by the man of your dreams proved to be much more difficult than expected, and it wasn’t even a minute in that heavenly position until Scorpius felt the blood starting to swell into his groin.

Harry must have felt him grow tense in his arms because the hand on his ear moved away and Scorpius sensed Harry looking down at him. “Sorry, is this too much?” Harry asked, his voice sounding confused. After all, it had been Scorpius’ suggestion to snuggle.

“No!” Scorpius quickly said even though it definitely was too much, in every aspect. “It’s just,“ he tried to think of something to say, any reason that would explain why he had to turn around—the truth, _ Ehm, my boner is about to poke you_, obviously, not being an option. “I just usually sleep on my left side, is all.” A perfectly believable explanation.

Harry loosened his grip on Scorpius and he quickly turned away from the man, feeling weirdly conscious of Harry moving behind him. Unexpectedly, Harry didn’t hug him from behind immediately, instead, he settled inches apart from Scorpius, just his warm hand settled on Scorpius’ hip and his breath brushing against his neck.

“Thanks for doing this, Scorp,” Harry murmured. 

Scorpius wanted to whine _ come on, hug me! _ but Harry’s voice sounded satisfied and contented so he just whispered back, “Of course, Harry.” 

And like magic, Harry fell asleep within minutes, the hand on Scorpius’ hip growing slack, and his breathing evening out against Scorpius’ neck. Finally, when Scorpius was sure that Harry was deep asleep, he turned around again, to look at him. His face was peaceful, lips slightly parted and Scorpius wanted to touch him so badly, it hurt.

But for now, he settled on watching the man of his dreams quite literally become that as he fell asleep, still feeling Harry holding onto him.

◊ ◊ ◊

There was something touching his hair, something that felt warm and soft, and in his half-asleep state Scorpius just couldn’t, for the life of him, figure out what it was.

It reminded him of how his mum had used to comb his hair with her fingers while she had read him one of his favourite books as a child. The gesture seemed affectionate and made Scorpius purr quietly as he pressed into the hand. 

A low chuckle ripped Scorpius out of the memory and his eyes shot open. He came face to face with Harry Potter, who was—oh bollocks!—lying next to him in his bed.

“You snore, do you know that?” Harry said with a smile, and Scorpius immediately wanted to protest _ Malfoys do not snore! _ like his dad had used to grumble angrily at his mum at the breakfast table every so often years ago. “It’s cute.”

And Harry really looked like he meant it, his hand still stroking through his hair but having gotten a little slower and his fingertips settled behind his ear.

“Did you sleep well?” Scorpius asked and when Harry’s lips pulled into an almost shy smile, Scorpius had a hard time not leaning forward and kissing him.

“Haven’t slept this well in years,” he said while he came closer. Scorpius’ felt Harry’s legs come up against his before Harry’s lips were suddenly on his forehead. “Thank you,” he whispered and his lips moved against his skin softly. Scorpius felt like he would have collapsed into a puddle if he wasn’t already lying down.

Harry Potter had given him another kiss on the forehead but this time it had felt different. Not wet and weird but… loving.

And then, because Scorpius’ life was just that shitty, the door to Harry’s room flew open with a bang and Harry flinched back, as if they had been caught doing something they shouldn’t be doing.

“Dad!” Albus almost shouted, storming towards the bed and pulling the blanket from their bodies, as if he was expecting to find something there. But he just stared at them and then turned to look at Scorpius, eyes wide and crazy.

“You were gone when I woke up,” he said in disbelief, and wasn’t even looking at his dad, “Did you sleep here?”

“Yes,” Scorpius said because lying would be useless, it was obvious that he had just woken up. “We were talking and just fell asleep.” Al didn’t have to know that his dad was lonely. Even if he did, he would never be alright with Scorpius having offered Harry to hold him.

“Come!” Albus finally ordered, looking back at his dad, confusion and something else in his eyes. Scorpius couldn’t quite make out what it was, but it looked bad.

“Listen, Al,” Harry started, watching them with a confused expression as Albus pulled Scorpius by the wrist. But he just pulled his friend out of the bedroom, and looking back at Harry one more time, Albus dragged Scorpius into his own room.

The door banged shut and Al let go of his wrist.

“What the hell, Albus?” Scorpius asked, holding his hurting wrist, “That really hurt. And we didn’t do anythi— ,“

“He was kissing you!” Albus shouted with so much disgust in his voice, Scorpius felt shattered.“You promised me, Scorpius! You promised that you wouldn’t try anything with him!”

“I’m not,” he whispered and looked down at his wrist, “we were just sleeping in the same bed. I do that with you all the time.”

“But you’re not in love with me!” Al shouted and Scorpius prayed that nobody was listening in on them. “And I don’t go around kissing you! What the hell is my dad thinking?” Now Albus was looking down and putting a hand to his forehead.

He seemed like he was having a mental breakdown. Like he had just walked in on them fucking or something, when Harry had just expressed his genuine gratitude for Scorpius keeping him company.

“You know that he sees me like one of his children,” Scorpius started, even though it hurt him to say it, “the kiss meant nothing more than— “

“No,” Albus hissed and finally looked at Scorpius again, “he doesn’t kiss us looking like _ that _.”

Scorpius didn’t dare ask what Albus meant by that, but he knew immediately that it was the reason Albus was freaking out like that.

“You need to go,” his friend finally said, and Scorpius was about to protest that he would leave soon anyway, and they could still feed him breakfast, but Al was already stuffing all of Scorpius’ clothes in his bag. “Now!”

As weird as the situation was, Scorpius nodded and quickly got dressed. When he took his bag and made for the door, he turned to Al and said, “Let me say goodbye to Har— ,“

“No!” Albus said forcefully, then proceeded to drag Scorpius down to the Floo by the wrist. “I’ll see you at Hogwarts,” Al said, apparently having calmed down a little the moment it was clear that Scorpius would leave and get away from his dad.

“Albus, you misunderstood. We didn’t do anything. We were just talking.” He couldn’t leave like this. Albus needed to know what had really happened. “I’m a kid, Albus. Your dad wouldn’t— He doesn’t think of me like that. I told him I like it when my dad kisses me on the forehead, and before that, I told him about the day my mum died.” Albus’ tense shoulders started to slack a little as he listened. “He just wanted to cheer me up. Because he’s a great person. Not because he likes me like that.”

He wasn’t sure if it had worked, if Al believed him, but then his friend nodded a little. “You should still go. Sorry.”

Sighing, Scorpius looked at Albus' troubled expression one more time, before he shrugged and accepted the Floo Powder Al handed him. “Alright, see you at the platform,” Scorpius said, then called out Malfoy Manor and was engulfed by green flames.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading.  
Kudos and comments make my day :)


	3. Chapter 3

The next day, Scorpius got a letter from Al, apologizing for kicking him out and explaining that he had just freaked out upon finding him and Harry in such a position. Albus also wrote that he trusted Scorpius to never break his promise, which, instead of making Scorpius feel better after reading it, made his heart hurt at the reminder of that promise. Still, he wrote him back that he was forgiven—which was only part of the truth, as Scorpius still couldn't help remembering the horrified look on Albus' face when he had found them in bed together. It made Scorpius tear up a little when he thought too much about it. 

A second letter came only hours later, from Harry, asking if he was ok and if Al had apologized. At the bottom it said _ Thank you for being there for me. Again. _ Harry’s note made him forget the bitter aftertaste Albus’ letter had left and Scorpius kept it folded inside the pocket of his robes for the next few days, so he could read it whenever he wanted. Be reminded of the magical time he’d shared with Harry instead of feeling his promise to Al poison their friendship.

Back in school for their seventh year, apart from going to classes like always, everything changed. His classmates, Albus included, were all pretty much freaking out about the NEWTs and what to do after school. Couples were clinging to each other, as if trying to spend as much time together as possible before their inevitable separation after leaving Hogwarts. Furthermore, most students who were single were trying to hook up with someone, anyone, so they wouldn’t graduate a virgin. Scorpius belonged to the latter group of people.

One of the boys, Jeremy, who had approached him after his coming out in the Great Hall the previous year, had asked Scorpius to go to Hogsmeade with him. He wasn’t exactly Scorpius’ type, all short and cute with a girly face, but… he would have to do. And at least, from what Scorpius had been able to gather, he was a nice person. Scorpius had the feeling that Jeremy wasn’t really interested in him either anyway, probably only just as desperate to get laid. _ But whatever _, Scorpius thought. When you’re a horny 17-year-old teenager and have no other options, you do what you have to do.

So, after their third date at the astronomy tower, Jeremy fell to his knees after a heavy session of snogging, and within minutes, Scorpius came into his mouth. Jeremy seemed absolutely horrified at the consistency and taste of his come which made the whole situation a little awkward, but Scorpius quickly offered to replicate. That offer was met with an enthusiastic nod.

Giving head for the first time was much less exciting and way more tiring than Scorpius had imagined it would be. Maybe that was because he was in love with someone else and, again, Jeremy wasn’t his type, but the whole idea of sucking on someone’s cock and make them moan and spill into his mouth had been one of his favourite wank fantasies since his gay realisation. In reality, though, it was a little boring and made his jaw hurt after a few minutes.

They met up a few more times after that and got as far as shoving a finger up each other's bums, but before it could get to the real deal both of them called it off in agreement. In the end, Scorpius decided that maybe he would want to do the penetration part of the whole sex spectrum with someone he actually cared about.

On another note, Albus also started dating some Hufflepuff girl called Isabella with whom he spent a lot of the time he wasn’t studying together with Scorpius. At first, Scorpius worried that both of them dating someone would cause even more off a rift in their friendship, but Scorpius found that he loved Albus too much to let new relationships or that fight during the last summer break get between them. And finally, even though it took a few months, Scorpius forgave him for real. Because it hurt too much not to. Because if he kept thinking about their problems, he’d never be able to get over it.

Anyway, he and Albus were good now. Whatever had made Albus freak out when he’d found Scorpius in his dad’s bed was never mentioned again.

Until a week before the next Christmas hols, that was, when Scorpius got an unexpected letter from Harry. Albus immediately recognised his father’s owl Kiwi and then his distinct writing on the front of the envelope. He glared at Scorpius from across the table and didn’t talk to him for the rest of the day, even though Scorpius desperately tried to explain to him that no, he was not in any kind of secret relationship with his dad. He even showed Albus the letter that was basically just a bunch of helpful tips and tricks for his upcoming Auror’s practice exam in January. Doing anything to convince Albus that nothing weird was going on between the two of them. Secretly, however, receiving a letter from Harry made him feel over the moon, and that night he lay in his bed, with the sheet of parchment pressed against his face in desperate search for any trace of Harry’s scent. All the while, he jerked himself off to the memory of being pressed against Harry’s warm body. 

The next day, feeling a little ashamed of what he’d done, but also more satisfied than he’d been in a long time, Scorpius replied with a short note, thanking Harry for the help and wishing him a wonderful Christmas with his family.

Scorpius himself spent most of the holidays with his dad and grandparents, who had come around on him being gay and surprisingly managed to not mention it a single time during their one-week stay—which, Scorpius later found out, must have definitely been thanks to his dad telling them that if they were to make any unwanted comments, he would never spend Christmas with them again. But even if they said nothing, Scorpius could feel their disappointment and Lucius’ disgust with him more than ever. If it hadn’t been for his dad taking precautions, this would have been an absolute disaster. Scorpius couldn’t wait to finally visit the Potters and be surrounded only by people who loved him for who he was, unlike his grandparents.

◊ ◊ ◊

On the 28th of December, Scorpius and his dad rang the bell to Harry’s house and were immediately greeted by Harry who seemed a little out of breath and—oh!—very much naked.

Scorpius stared at the display of Harry Potter in front of him, crotch only covered by a tiny white towel and his chest and strong legs exposed to Scorpius’ very horny eyes. His delicious chest hair was dripping wet droplets on his bare feet, and for a second, Scorpius considered bending down and licking along his toes and up his ankles. 

Would they believe him if he claimed momentary insanity?

“Merlin, Harry, there are children about,” Draco said dryly but Scorpius could hear the amusement in his voice as Harry stepped aside to let them in.

“Nothing your son hasn’t seen before,” Harry chuckled and winked at Scorpius but quickly realised that this comment was in very poor taste when he saw the horrified look on Draco’s face, “Sorry, that came out wrong.”

After that, Draco was a little reluctant to leave Scorpius with _ the naked hooligan _—as Draco put it—but after two cups of strong black tea that he made Harry serve them and an exchange of disastrous ministry stories, Scorpius’ dad finally said his goodbyes. Scorpius and Harry, who had by now put on a pair of joggers and a white loose t-shirt, were thus left sitting alone on the sofa in the living room.

“Where is everybody?” Scorpius asked.

Harry grinned and whined, “Aw, you didn’t come to see me?” before he chuckled and explained that Ginny had taken the kids out for a Quidditch game. They would be back within the hour.

“I see,” Scorpius said, trying to hide how nervous he was about sitting on the sofa with Harry, whose wet long hair was, as usual, rolled up in a bun and his joggers clung snuggly to his thick thighs, shamelessly exposing the bulge between his legs.

Scorpius felt like he was on the set up to a gay porn movie. He knew what those were! He’d discovered them during his stay at his grandparents’ house on his new laptop that his dad had gifted him and not been able to explain how to use. Scorpius had figured it out after a few days and given Lucius half a heart-attack when he had walked in on Scorpius’ face, only an inch away from the screen that had shown a moaning bearded man sucking on the bleached arsehole of another moaning man. “It’s all for science!” Scorpius had called after him, but then decided that he couldn’t care less what his granddad thought of him and kept watching.

“Actually, I have something for you, Scorp,” Harry said out of nowhere and Scorpius already saw it coming; he was going to whip out his cock, tell Scorp what a bad boy he had been for just leaving without saying goodbye that last summer, and then continue to teach him a lesson by making him pleasure Harry with his mouth.

Maybe Scorpius had watched too much porn those past two weeks…

But no, to Scorpius’ disappointment, he just stood up and left the room. A few seconds later, he was back, and handed Scorpius a small package. “Merry Christmas,” he sang and Scorpius instantly felt awful.

“I— I didn’t get you anything.” He had thought about it, he really had, but they just couldn’t exchange gifts with Albus being so sensitive about their relationship. He would’ve probably flipped out if he had found out that Scorpius had bought his dad a present.

Harry shook his head with a smile, “No need, kiddo. Open it.” He seemed really excited, so Scorpius nodded and carefully unwrapped the package. There was no doubt that Harry had wrapped it himself, the corners were messy and the ribbon was only tucked around the package one time. He could hear his father gasp in shock at the sight of it, but Scorpius couldn’t help thinking how cute it was.

Revealing a small black box, Scorpius looked up at Harry who was still smiling at him and waiting eagerly for him to open the gift. So Scorpius did, slowly picking up the lid. On a small satin cushion lay a silver necklace that had a foggy globe hanging from it, the size of a marble.

Scorpius stared at it, struck silent.

This gift seemed…. wildly inappropriate. Was this a piece of jewellery? Had Harry Potter just given him one of the most romantic presents there was?

“Harry, what— ,“ Scorpius started, but the man had already taken the box from him and fumbled the necklace between his fingers.

“Let me put it on you,” he said, and suddenly he was reaching behind Scorpius’ neck and fumbling with the clasp of the necklace, unaware of the fact that Scorpius had frozen on the spot, trying to control his breathing so to not expose himself. When he had successfully pinned the piece around Scorpius’ neck, Harry pulled back, brushing one hand against Scorpius’ hair intimately. One of his fingers touched right behind his ear at that special spot and Scorpius wanted to believe that he had done it on purpose, reminiscing about the night they had spent together, where Harry had stroked him the exact same way. So sure that all of this must mean something to Harry as well, Scorpius dared to look the man in the eyes, hopefully, only to see how unaffected Harry was by the touch.

Scorpius remembered what Albus had said then. Harry was touchy with all of his kids and he probably considered him one of them. That was all there was to it.

“Do you know what that is?” Harry asked, pointing at the necklace and Scorpius shook his head, fighting back tears at the sadness and disappointment he felt that made him want to grasp the necklace, pull it off and throw it so it shattered into a million tiny pieces. “It’s a magical artefact that will help you time your wand movements perfectly,” Harry started and then went on about how it would be perfect for any Auror trainee, because it would help him get the complicated spells down, and he wanted Scorpius to have a little head start. “You see the way the fog moves?” Harry said, fascinated, holding the globe up right in front of Scorpius’ eyes, “That’s my magic. I’ve been wearing it for the past few months so my magic gets imprinted into it. While you use spells, the magic in the artefact will connect with yours and correct any small mistakes. I also incorporated a shield charm for minor spells.” He was grinning. Scorpius didn’t doubt how useful the item would be for him, but all he could really feel was, still, disappointment.

Of course. Harry was Head Auror and was just helping a recruit. Of course, it wasn’t anything more. Sure, if Harry had given him a romantic present, it would have been inappropriate and extremely problematic seeing that Scorpius was still 17 and Harry was over 40, and, obviously, nothing could happen between them, but… Scorpius didn’t want to be treated like one of his kids. Because he wasn’t. He was a man. Well, almost. Almost a man. And Scorpius wanted to be sexy and desirable to the man he was in love with. Or at least not be considered as just another trainee, or even worse, one of his _ kiddos _.

So, with a heavy heart, he thanked Harry for the gift and was glad that his friend came bursting through the door only minutes later, happy to hold Scorpius in his arms.

◊ ◊ ◊

Scorpius had never felt so sexually frustrated in his life. First, he had now experienced the intense pleasure of having his cock sucked and his arse fingered by another bloke, which wasn’t even comparable to what he could do to himself. And second, Harry was killing him!

The man seemed to think it was normal to walk around with as little clothes on as possible. He was almost never wearing a shirt, even though it was the middle of winter, and sometimes he wasn’t even wearing any trousers and would just walk around in his pants in the morning. 

As if that wasn't bad enough already, on day two of his visit, Harry dropped some jam onto his naked chest and continued to whip it off with his fingers and lick them clean afterwards. Albus witnessed Scorpius pop a boner at the breakfast table that horrible horrible morning. His friend even tried to help. Utterly shocked at Scorpius’ reaction, he told Harry to _ put on some damn clothes _multiple times, but Harry only laughed and ignored the pleas.

A few days later, Scorpius was showering in Harry’s bathroom on the third floor of the house, because the other one was occupied by Lily while Harry prepared dinner. He was in the middle of having a somewhat satisfying wank when a thought came over him.

He was literally standing in the shower where Harry had probably stood naked, not six hours ago, touching himself all over. Scorpius’ eyes fell to the bath sponge that was hanging on the other side of the shower curtain, and he reached around to touch it. 

Fuck, it was still a little wet. Which meant that Harry had used it. On his body. His very naked body.

Merlin, he knew it was wrong. Scorpius knew that he shouldn’t be doing this and that he was being weird and disgusting but he was still a teenager for Merlin’s sake, he was allowed to do these kinds of crazy horny things.

Without sparing it another thought, Scorpius started using the sponge to rub it against his dick, making it wrap around his shaft in a tight embrace and moving his hand up and down in a slow sensual rhythm. The thought that this sponge had touched Harry’s body only a few hours earlier made Scorpius ache for so much more than he could have. For so much more than he had ever had.

One hand fumbling with the shower gel, he squeezed out a small amount onto his fingers and brought them to his hole. He started rubbing against it slowly while he closed his eyes and imagined that Harry was standing behind him. He thought about that one time where Harry had taught him the Patronus charm, and pressed his whole body against him from behind. Scorpius had literally felt Harry’s hipbone push against the small of his back, and Harry’s chest against his shoulders. Imagining Harry’s thick dark fingers stroking over his twitching hole, Scorpius just couldn’t wait any longer. He pressed forward, a gasp leaving his lips at the sensation of the tip of his finger breaching the tight ring of muscle.

He worked the sponge around his cock and pushed his finger in and out, simultaneously. First slowly, then faster, adding a second and a third finger too fast so that the stretch hurt a little. Scorpius imagined Harry whispering _ I can’t wait to feel you twitch around my cock _right into his ear and it didn’t take much longer before he came with a cry against the shower wall, feeling spent and satisfied.

His body was still shivering from the intensity of his orgasm, and he leaned his chest and forehead against the wall for support when suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

Scorpius was out of breath, his fingertips still buried inside his hole when the door opened and none other than Harry called out, “So sorry Scorp, but I really need to use the loo and Lily is taking forever.”

Scorpius couldn’t believe that this was happening. Thankfully, he was well hidden behind the shower curtain, but his fingers were still up his arse and Harry’s sponge still wrapped around his dick as he listened to Harry Potter pull down the zip of his trousers and finally the stream of his urine hitting the toilet.

Scorpius was achingly hard again.

This wasn’t normal. This— This wasn’t good, but Scorpius just couldn’t help it.

“No problem, Harry,” he said and slowly, quietly started stroking his cock again, using the tips of his fingers to push against his prostate. He bit his bottom lip, a tiny gasp still escaping, but the flow of the water and Harry peeing were blocking the sound from reaching the other man as he was pushing his fingers inside his arsehole again.

Never had he felt his second orgasm approach so quickly. It felt like Harry was peeing forever and Scorpius was already quivering again when Harry flushed and moaned, “Merlin, what a relief.” That was when his orgasm hit him so hard that Scorpius couldn’t help but moan out loud. Shocked at the noise he had made, he flinched and then felt himself slip. With a shout, he reached out to grasp onto the shower curtain, trying to steady himself in vain as the curtain was moved to the side by his falling weight.

Thankfully, Harry’s hands shot out just in time to hold Scorpius up by the hips and steady him before he could have hurt himself.

“Easy there,” Harry gasped, worry in his voice, as he looked Scorpius up and down, checking for injuries. He had a clear view of Scorpius’ still half-hard cock, but if he noticed, he made no comment. Instead, he just looked at Scorpius’ flushed face. 

“Don’t shower so hot. What if you pass out and hit your head?” he said and stretched around Scorpius to turn the temperature down, not caring that he got his sleeve and shoulder wet. “Are you alright? Do you need any help?”

“N-No,” Scorpius stammered, and pulled himself out of Harry’s grasp. He was embarrassed and so turned on, _ again _, even though he had just come twice. “Thank you.”

“Alright,” Harry still looked worried but nodded when he saw that Scorpius was standing up straight by himself, “Dinner will be done in 10. I made fajitas.” He smiled and then he was gone.

Scorpius let himself drop to the shower floor before he started fisting his cock for a third time in a row, the patches of skin on his hips that Harry had touched still burning him up with desire.

◊ ◊ ◊

When he told Albus about what had happened before dinner—leaving out the fact that he had been knuckle deep inside his own arse—Albus almost had a stroke. At least that’s what his face looked like as it twitched back and forth between two expressions, the I-am-fine-with-this expression and the I-am-going-to-murder-you-by-strangling expression. Scorpius really didn’t know why he was telling Albus any of this, as he knew how much it would upset him, but Albus was still his best friend and something incredible had just happened to him and he needed to tell… somebody!

As freeing as it had been to talk to someone about his crush, the result was that for the last few days of the hols, Albus didn’t let Scorpius out of his sight. Except for the very last night that Scorpius was spending over at Harry’s house.

“I’m so sorry Scorpius but it’s only for a few hours,” Albus said apologetically, “Isabella’s crup is really sick and I need to be there for her.“

“I get it, go,” Scorpius said with a smile, because he really did. He would not be that friend who made his mate spent time with him when his girlfriend was going through something.

Albus thanked him and promised to be back soon before he left via Floo.

Scorpius was left sitting on the sofa with Harry, who was watching Muggle football, which Scorpius quickly decided was the most boring sport on the planet. Luckily, Harry seemed to be able to sense his disinterest.

“How about we watch a movie? I have a bunch of Disney DVDs here that the kids used to watch when they were smaller. They’re quite amusing.” He was smiling and pointing to the shelf by the window.

In Scorpius’ opinion, everything was better than this football crap, so he picked out a movie, something about a prince and a llama, and they started watching it, even though, to be quite honest, Scorpius would have preferred just talking to Harry.

But soon it turned out that Harry had been right: the movie _ was _amusing. For the next ninety or so minutes, Scorpius couldn’t stop laughing. He had never seen a Muggle production that funny, and in retrospect was almost a little angry at his dad for having kept this kind of entertainment from him his whole life. What made the experience even better was Harry trying to copy Yzma’s crazy laugh and the squirrel language, while doing a really bad job at it. Harry blushed furiously when he realised that he was making an ass out of himself in front of his son’s best mate and somehow—Scorpius hadn’t thought it possible—it made him fall in love with Harry even more.

By the time the movie was over, Scorpius wished he could just lean over and snog Harry like there was no tomorrow, and with Harry’s arm already wrapped around Scorpius on the sofa, the sides of their thighs pressed together, it wasn’t like there was much distance left he’d have to close anyway.

It felt almost like they were… cuddling.

Merlin, Scorpius wanted him so much it was crazy. But he couldn’t, he knew it. If he were to just abandon all reservations and lean forward, press their lips together, Harry would be absolutely horrified, Albus would not be his friend anymore and Scorpius couldn’t lose them. He just couldn’t.

“So, what does Draco think about you becoming an Auror?” Harry asked, after they had been talking about the movie for a while, and the muscles in Scorpius’ jaw were already feeling a little sore from all the laughing.

“He thinks it’s a great idea,” Scorpius said, leaving out the part where Draco had told him he would prefer him doing a less dangerous job.

Harry seemed glad to hear that. “You know, I was really shocked when I got to know you better,” Harry started and Scorpius felt like something bigger was coming, “I would’ve never had thought that Draco Malfoy would have a son like you.”

“Like what?” Scorpius asked with a crooked smile, on the one hand worried that he wasn’t going to like what Harry had to say, but on the other hand doubting that Harry had anything bad to say about him or Draco at this point.

“I don’t know… I guess someone so loyal? You’re such a great friend to my son and you’re so weird,” he laughed, probably remembering some of the embarrassing things Scorpius had said or done when he had been younger, “but in a charming way.”

“Weird, me? Whatever are you talking about?” Scorpius inquired in the poshest voice he could muster, mimicking the way his dad talked with business associates. Harry had the widest grin on his face when he pulled his finger up to point at Scorpius’ mouth, as if to say _ this is what I mean _.

“I’m sure your dad is very proud of you.”

Scorpius smiled, but strangely found himself murmur, “I wish I could say the same about my grandparents.” Immediately, he felt in the marrow of his bones how true that statement was. Their rejection and their unhappiness with him made him feel so small and so unwanted, even if there were a ton of people that loved him dearly for who he was. But having your own family, your own blood, not stand completely by your side, unconditionally, was something that Scorpius had never thought would hurt that bad.

“Well, no offense, but your grandfather is a fucktart,” Harry spit, and Scorpius’ eyes went wide, both in amusement and surprise that Harry was using such a bad word with him. The man grinned back at him and didn’t apologise for his choice of words.

“He thinks I’m a disgrace to the Malfoy name because I’m gay,” Scorpius whispered, because Harry made him feel safe. “It makes me want to do more stuff that he wouldn’t approve of. Just to piss him off, you know?” he confessed with an uncertain grin on his face, but when Harry started laughing out loud, he knew that he understood exactly what Scorpius meant.

“Oh, if you want to piss off Lucius, I have some ideas.” And then they started listing things that Scorpius could do to send Lucius into an early grave. Date a Muggle. Dye his hair red. Marry into the Weasley family. “Get a piercing!” Harry concluded and Scorpius’ eyes went wide at that suggestion.

“Oh, I don’t know about _ that, _ but I will definitely get a tattoo as soon as I’m 18,” he said and grinned as he told Harry about the idea he’s had for a while now. After growing weirdly obsessed with Harry’s stag slash lily tattoo last year, Scorpius had decided, “I want a dragon. For my dad.”

Harry seemed excited to talk about tattoos, and when Scorpius asked him more questions regarding the stag and the lilies on his chest, he realised that he had apparently opened a can of worms. For the next hour and a half, Harry didn’t stop talking. He told Scorpius about his parents and about his godfather and Remus. He told him about Sirius’ leather jacket and flying motorbike that he just couldn’t bring himself to give away, and how sometimes just looking at them made him miss Sirius so much, he felt like he could never get over it.

“Long story short, that’s why I got a tattoo that stands for my parents,” Harry concluded. “I guess I felt guilty for grieving Sirius and Remus more than I ever grieved them. For loving them more, I guess. So, I got my parents tattooed on my heart.” There was a sad smile on his face and when Harry looked up at him, his green eyes were shimmering with tears and surprise. Only then did Scorpius notice that he had taken Harry’s hand and was squeezing it. It was a friendly gesture that Scorpius had done without even thinking about it. After Harry had opened up to him so much, showed him a side that he probably didn’t show many people, Scorpius had just felt like he should make Harry understand that he was thankful for being trusted, and that he was there for him.

Scorpius knew that Harry understood what this small action meant when his eyes softened again and he murmured a quiet, “Thank you, Scorp. I’m really lucky to have you, aren’t I?” before he squeezed his hand back and started stroking the back of it with his thumb.

The way that Harry was staring at him now, like he was the most precious thing in the world, while caressing his hand, made all kinds of fireworks go off in his body. Scorpius didn’t think this was just his best friend’s dad being nice to him. He didn’t think that this was just Harry saying his thanks. No, this was more. It had to be. Harry wouldn’t look like that at just anyone… right?

Merlin, he wanted to ask. He wanted to say something. _ Do you feel this too, Harry? _ or _ Please, let me kiss you. I know I’m still a kid but please, I promise I won’t tell. _

But instead he swallowed the words down and thought about the promise he had made his friend.

In an instant, his heart broke. Again.

Harry let go of his hand then and said that he’d get them another round of tea before he excused himself.

When he came back, Scorpius had calmed down a little and remembered, “How about your second tattoo?”

For a moment, Harry seemed to think hard, but then he just blurted out, “I really can’t show you.” There was an uncomfortable grin on his face, that Scorpius saw flinch into somewhat of a troubled expression, before Harry tried to hide it by standing up again and taking the empty sugar bowl with him. Finally, he said “But I can show you when you’re older,” adding a quiet, “and when I’m very, very drunk.”

And then Scorpius watched him head towards the kitchen once more, thinking that he would make sure to see it better sooner than later.

◊ ◊ ◊

When he returned home after New Year’s, his dad stopped him right in front of the Floos. He grasped the necklace that was dangling from his neck before even welcoming him back home.

“How did you get this?” he asked. His voice sounded absolutely scandalized, which made Scorpius unsure whether he should tell. Knowing, though, that his father always found out anything he wanted to know, he decided to tell him the truth.

After listening to his son’s explanation, Draco breathed “Scorpius,” still turning the globe between his fingers, “do you have any idea how much a _ Corrector _ is worth?”

A Corrector? He’d never heard of them but he’d guessed that it was a little on the expensive side if it could remember magical signatures and adapt it to someone else’s magic.

“I guess, maybe fifty galleons or something,” Scorpius wondered, looking down at the necklace and suddenly feeling guilty for having accepted this gift.

Draco made a pop sound with his tongue, “Try thousands of galleons, if not even more. With Harry Potter’s magical signature in it, it’s priceless.”

“What?” Scorpius asked in shock. “No way!”

But his father wasn’t lying. When it came to the worth of rare magical artefacts, Draco knew his business. “What exactly did he say that he wanted you to use it for?” Draco asked, and there was a hint of suspicion in his voice that Scorpius had only ever witnessed his dad direct at Lucius.

“It’s supposed to help me during training. Correct my wand movements and provide a shield for minor spells, stuff like that,” Scorpius recalled, and he was angry at himself for not having listened when Harry had explained it to him. He had thought this was just a gift Harry had made him as his future boss, wanting him to do well in his training, but now, with this new knowledge, Scorpius realised that it was much more. Harry really wanted Scorpius to succeed.

“Give it to me.” And before Scorpius got what his father was asking him to do, he was pulling at the necklace with such force that Scorpius felt it cut painfully into the back of his neck.

Shocked at how rough his dad was being, Scorpius could only watch with wide eyes as Draco was suddenly ripped away from him by a magical force field, and thrown back at least three meters, his side connecting painfully with the wall.

“Dad!” Scorpius shouted and run towards Draco, who was lying unmoving on the ground for a few seconds before he suddenly gasped for air.

Scorpius scrambled down onto his knees, next to the shivering figure of his dad and quickly pulled him into a sitting position. “What happened?” Scorpius cried, tears filling his eyes at his father’s horrified expression from being attacked so suddenly.

“That Potter,” Draco whispered, pulling himself up a little more by Scorpius’ shoulder, “a shield for minor spells, huh?” And then there was a small smirk on his face.

Only then did Scorpius get what had just happened “Was— Was that the necklace?” he asked, and his father nodded.

Their eyes met, Scorpius’ filled with tears from the shock, Draco’s almost knowing when he said, “He really cares about you.”

_ Yes, he truly does _ Scorpius realised, and as shook as he was from what had just happened, his heart was beating like crazy at this new knowledge. Not only had Harry given him a present that was priceless in the wizarding world, but he also cared so much about him that he had lied about its value and power to make sure Scorpius wouldn’t feel intimidated by his present and consequently take it off.

“Scorpius,” his dad said, and Scorpius only noticed then that he was grinning, “you make sure to wear this at all times, and that nobody ever finds out what that is.” Then Draco pointed his wand at it and murmured a glamour charm.

Scorpius looked down at his chest and now there was a silver snake dangling from his neck.

“It will keep you safe.” His dad smiled and then pushed himself up and disappeared into his chambers.

◊ ◊ ◊

Scorpius didn’t confront Harry about his Christmas present. Harry had obviously not wanted him to know what it really was, and now Scorpius understood why. Harry Potter’s magical signature was worth a lot! Also, seeing that there was only one of such an item in the entire world, there was no way Scorpius could tell Albus about it. He would surely misunderstand. After all, Scorpius too had wondered why Harry had given such an item to him, his son’s best friend, instead of one of his own children. It was suspicious. Sure, the reason was probably that Scorpius had chosen to be an Auror, which was one of the most dangerous occupations there was. But even then, why hadn’t he given one to Teddy, his godson? Why Scorpius? At first, Scorpius had been convinced that this just meant that there was something special between the two of them after all. But after returning to Hogwarts and doing a bit of research on Correctors, Scorpius found out that they were a rather new invention, which would explain why Harry hadn't given it to anybody else before. 

Still… 

In January, Scorpius aced his Auror’s exam with every spell done right and every question answered perfectly. Harry, being one of the examiners, showed him a beaming smile after the test that made Scorpius feel prouder than he ever had for any other accomplishment.

Only a week later, the Ministry sent him an official owl that stated he was accepted to the Auror trainee program and would start on the 1st of September. Scorpius jumped up from his seat at the breakfast table in the Great Hall and cheered at the top of his lungs, making Albus flinch and spill pumpkin juice all over himself. But Scorpius couldn’t care less at that moment.

He was going to be an Auror!

◊ ◊ ◊

The rest of the school year passed in a blur. There was so much studying and so little time for anything else. Sometime around March, Albus and Isabella broke up, because she had been accepted to do a potioneer's license in France, and both of them decided they weren’t up for a long-distance relationship. Albus got a job in the Department of Mysteries, surprising everybody that he would even consider such an adventurous career. “Have you forgotten what we got up to in fourth year and whose idea all of that was?” Albus asked one evening, pointing at himself with both thumbs and then turning towards his homework again.

Also, Scorpius started hooking up with Jeremy again because he found himself desperately horny after having tasted the sweet fruit that was getting off with somebody else rather than his own hand. They kept it casual though, and never made a fuss about going on dates before engaging in sexual activities anymore. Once or twice a week, they’d meet up on the astronomy tower, the Room of Requirement, or the prefect’s bathroom, suck each other off while shoving two fingers up each other’s bums and then say thanks and goodbye and go their separate ways again. It was a rather nice arrangement and the one time Scorpius moaned Harry’s name, Jeremy just looked up at him in wonder for a second before he shrugged and went back to nibbling at his balls.

Scorpius soon realised that Jeremy had a thing for Albus. He kept asking about him and seemed rather disappointed when Scorpius promised him he was very, very straight. Still, it was a surprise to Scorpius because he had thought Jeremy and him had a pretty similar taste in men, and Albus wasn’t really the bulky kind of guy that fit into the picture. Until one evening, that was, when Albus fell asleep on Scorpius’ bed after studying together into the night, and Scorpius looked at him from the side, realising something. With every passing day, Albus looked more like Harry. And Harry was gorgeous. But Scorpius’ feelings for Harry hadn’t been solely based on looks for ages now, and even if Albus was getting more and more attractive, Scorpius’ heart just wouldn’t beat faster for him. It only beat for Harry.

On their last night as students of Hogwarts, Scorpius and Albus went to the graduation ball, together as friends, and watched happy couples dancing together, a smile on both of their faces.

Occasionally, one of the other student would break down in tears and Scorpius almost joined in because Hogwarts surely had been a magical time. However, there was so much more he was looking forward to, apart from being a student.

As he lay awake in bed that night and watched Albus sleep on the other side of the room, he realised what he was looking forward to the most.

The possibility of getting a chance to be with Harry. Romantically.

Still, fingering the necklace and feeling Harry’s warm magic trickling over his hand, his heart felt heavy at the thought that this would probably never happen. He had made a promise to Albus and, really, why would Harry even want him when he could probably have anyone. Scorpius was tall, lanky and weird-looking, while Harry was _ the Saviour _ and looked like a model taken out of a male underwear magazine. But the biggest problem was probably their age difference, and even if Harry could overlook that, there would probably always be a part of him that saw Scorpius as one of his kids that he wanted to protect.

When tears started rolling down his face, finally, it wasn’t because he was sad to leave Hogwarts, it was because he felt like he was damned to be forever without the man he loved. Loved more than he had ever thought possible to love another human being.

The last thought that crossed his mind before he fell asleep was that he really needed to get over Harry this summer, and he had to achieve that by whatever means necessary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading.  
Kudos and comments make my day :)


	4. Chapter 4

On his 18th birthday, two weeks after their official graduation, Scorpius got an owl from Harry. At first glance, it only looked like a greeting card. When he opened the envelope, however, a tiny black piece of shiny paper fell out of it.

There was a card as well, but Scorpius inspected the black snippet first, turning and unfolding it between his fingers.

He couldn’t help but gasp when he realised what it was; a coupon to a magical tattoo studio!

“What is it?” his father asked from the other side of the breakfast table, probably surprised at Scorpius’ emotional reaction, “That was Harry’s owl, wasn’t it?” Draco took the card that had fallen from Scorpius’ hand and read it out loud.

_ “Dear Scorp, _

_ Happy birthday! _

_ Now that you are finally old enough, you can get what you’ve always wanted! _

_ Harry” _

Scorpius wasn’t sure whether he should laugh or cry at that. Harry was obviously talking about the tattoo, all the while completely oblivious to the fact that the thing that Scorpius really wanted was him. He couldn’t care less about the tattoo. He wanted nothing but Harry Potter.

Feeling the tears starting to trickle down his face, he grasped at his necklace and didn’t even notice his dad eyeing him with suspicion. Draco wiped his mouth on a napkin and excused himself to the kitchen.

When he came back with a strong cuppa, Scorpius’ tears had dried and Draco was still looking at him from the end of the table.

He knew that his dad was waiting for him to explain what was going on, why he was crying over such a small note. Knowing that Draco could tell if he were to lie to him, Scorpius decided not to think about the consequences of telling him and just blurted it out:

“I’m in love with Harry Potter.”

For a moment, Scorpius thought he saw shock in his dad’s eyes, but then his father cleared his throat and put down his mug.

“And here I thought you were interested in Albus. But I hope you know that nothing can ever happen between you and Harry.” He said it like it was a fact, something that needed no further discussion or explanation from his part.

Which was why instead of arguing over something that Scorpius felt was becoming more and more true with every passing day, he smiled sadly and said, “I know.” 

Feeling defeated, Scorpius started to sob, unable to hold back the tears or the ugly sounds he was making. He didn’t look at his dad but Scorpius knew that Draco was overwhelmed by the situation. He’d never been good at handling his son’s tears. When his mum had still been alive, Draco had called for her whenever Scorpius had been sad and she had hugged and consoled him until he’d felt better. But Draco didn’t know what to do. So he just sat there, being next to Scorpius, making sure he wasn’t suffering alone.

When Scorpius finally stopped crying, Draco stood up and brought them each a new cup of tea.

“Happy birthday,” he said after Scorpius had taken a sip, and he handed him a document that he read carefully before his eyes widened in shock.

His dad had bought him a two-bedroom flat in Diagon Alley!

Scorpius stared at his dad who was smiling now. “I thought you might want to live a little closer to the Ministry. You can invite Albus to live in the other room with you if that’s what you want. The flat is big enough for two. BUT,” he added with a brow pulled up for extra tension, “I want you to visit me every Sunday and I will hear no excuses!”

When Scorpius finally showed him a smile, Draco looked relieved. 

That day, Scorpius wrote a thank you owl to Harry as well as a letter to Albus, asking him to become his roommate. As a result, his friend Flooed over unannounced the moment he must have got the letter—instead of coming over in the evening like they’d planned. Flinging his arms around Scorpius, he shouted, “We will have so much fun!”.

For now, Scorpius let himself believe him.

◊ ◊ ◊

It came as a surprise to Scorpius when Harry—not Albus. Harry!—invited Scorpius to join him and his kids for a 1-month holiday traveling through Thailand. The owl came a few days after his birthday and to Scorpius’ utter shock, his dad had opened it without his permission. Scorpius wanted to ask him what the hell he was thinking, invading his privacy like that, but Draco only said, “I hope you’re not thinking about going,” and left the room. Furious at his dad, Scorpius quickly wrote a reply that yes, he would join them, just to spite his father. But it only took Scorpius a few more seconds to realise that he really had to decline. There was no way he was going to survive a whole month with Harry Potter in a place where the man had even more reason to walk around half-naked, and on top of that all moist from the humidity. No, Scorpius had plans to work on his quest to get-over-Harry-by-the-start-of-the-Auror-program.

But seeing as Scorpius was rubbish at not thinking about Harry, he followed Lily’s advice and got himself one of those Muggle phones. Apart from spending hours playing stupid games that required him to put three of the same symbols in one row, he downloaded an app to meet other wizards, where, after finally deciding to share a picture of himself, a dozen guys around his age wrote him within the first few hours.

Scorpius was pleasantly surprised that men found him attractive, and he arranged a handful of dates with some of the guys who had the human decency not to send him an unwanted dick pic within the first five minutes of conversation.

In the end, there was only one bloke that managed to keep Scorpius interested, though. 

Benjamin was four years older than him, made brooms for a living and conveniently only lived around the corner from Scorpius, above the Quidditch gear shop where he worked. He was a little shorter than Scorpius but much broader and muscled. Through the clothes, his body looked gorgeous. But more importantly, Ben was extremely funny. He made the silliest jokes that sometimes reminded him of George Weasley, and not 10 minutes went by without him making Scorpius laugh out loud. Apart from that, he was really nice and considerate of Scorpius’ dating inexperience. During their first few dates, he even kept teaching Scorpius what to do and how to react in certain situations.

“So now,” he started after having made a comment about how Scorpius should stop ogling his body so creepily because that might make him think he would want a taste of it, “you have to either respond with a flirty comment, or quickly change the subject if I made you uncomfortable.” He looked up at Scorpius hopefully from where he was crouching in front of the Blu-ray player in Scorpius’ new living room, setting it up for him.

“Well then,” Scorpius started and put on a sly grin, “what do I have to say so you let me suck your cock?” at which Ben’s mouth fell open in surprise before he started laughing.

“Forward, aren’t we?” He said but didn’t let Scorpius answer before he picked him up into his arms like he weighed less than feathers and snogged him senseless. Wrapping his legs around Ben’s waist, Scorpius felt more excited than he’d ever been with Jeremy.

This was what he wanted. To feel a strong muscled body against his. To feel desired.

It felt like Ben knew exactly what got Scorpius going when he went into his bedroom and made them fall onto the bed so that he was crushing him under his heavy weight, which only made Scorpius moan out loud, “Oh Merlin, please!”

That day, Scorpius let Ben shag him into the mattress. He didn’t tell him he was a virgin in that aspect, but he was pretty sure that halfway through Ben figured it out by himself. He had made sure to take a long time opening Scorpius up and gone slow when he had entered him for the first time. In the end, Scorpius turned into a quivering mess underneath him and shouted his name without thinking of Harry a single time.

Scorpius smiled at that realisation as he panted, staring up at the ceiling with Ben doing the same thing next to him.

Ok, so _ now _ he was thinking about Harry, but that didn’t count.

“So,” Ben said from beside him, and Scorpius turned to him with a grin, a hand going up to the snake pendant on his neck unconsciously, “we should definitely do that again.”

◊ ◊ ◊

By the time the Potters returned from their holiday, Scorpius and Ben were officially a couple. Scorpius hadn’t known how great the bliss of being in a real relationship felt. They had so much sex that, after a few days, Scorpius was too sore to ride a broom. However, he definitely felt more sexually satisfied than he had ever been.

A week before the Auror trainee program started, Albus moved into the flat and, as a moving-in gift, Scorpius prepared an English breakfast for them both.

“That reminds me,” Albus said, out of nowhere, “dad asked whether you’ve gotten that tattoo yet?” The tone of Albus’ voice implied that he had no idea what his dad could have possibly meant by that. Scorpius realised that he really hadn’t told Albus about his tattoo plans, ever.

So, after he told him about it, Albus offered to go with him and they made an appointment for the following day.

“Where do you want it?” the tattoo lady asked after he had picked out a black dragon that swung in an S and supposedly spewed out fire whenever it was touched.

“Right here.” Scorpius pointed at the place behind his right ear and slid his finger down until it reached about half of his neck. The woman smiled at him, and a few hours later of Scorpius squeezing Albus’ hand like crazy, he left the shop inked and felt adventurous.

“Dad said he wants to see it once you got it,” Albus mumbled and looked at him in question.

His best friend knew about Benjamin and he must have noticed that Scorpius was trying to avoid Harry as much as possible. Still, the look on Albus’ face told Scorpius that he could see right through him. 

It wasn’t that Scorpius didn’t love Harry anymore. He was just trying very hard not to.

“When I’m ready, I’ll show him,” Scorpius said and a rush of sadness went through him.

He told himself that it was normal that he couldn’t immediately forget about him. His heart didn’t just stop beating faster for Harry just because Scorpius had a boyfriend now. It didn’t work like that. Scorpius needed time and distraction and then he was sure that he would get over him. Who knew, maybe one day he’d be able to laugh about his silly teenage love and he and Harry would be good friends and they could show each other their tattoos without it feeling like there was a deeper meaning behind it. Now, though, Scorpius was not at that place.

Albus and he walked quietly towards their flat. Shortly before they got into the building, Albus held onto his wrist and turned Scorpius to look at him.

“You know,” he started and was glancing at his feet, “I like Benjamin. I think he’s great for you.”

Scorpius probably should’ve been happy to hear that, smiled and said _ I know, _ or something, but for some reason, he was suddenly reminded of how Albus had made him promise to never date his dad and consequently ruined his chance of being with his one true love. Sure, Ben was great and maybe Scorpius would come to love him, but…

Scorpius just knew that whatever he felt for Harry was special. And even if he did fall out of love with him someday, no other man could make him feel how Harry did.

That sappy romantic part of Scorpius still thought that with Harry he had found his soulmate. But the rational side of him, of course, knew that the two of them could never work out. Not with their age difference, not with people from both sides of their families against it, and surely not with Harry seeing Scorpius as a child.

_ Soulmates, my arse _, Scorpius thought and snorted next to Albus. It was ridiculous. But sadly, that didn’t make it hurt any less.

◊ ◊ ◊

When Auror training started and Scorpius saw Harry again for the first time in almost a year, he was hit with such a wave of longing he almost stumbled to his knees.

Harry and Teddy sat at the end of the table in the conference room where the trainee introduction would be held, and Harry looked nothing less but delicious. The hair on the side of his head was shaved short, but he had kept the top long and tied into what had become his signature bun. His face was sprouting a three-day beard that made Scorpius wonder what it would feel like to have it scratch across his naked skin.

Scorpius, who had been glued to the spot on the floor right in front of the entrance to the room, was pushed aside a little by a group of other trainees when he finally snapped out of it and swallowed the saliva that had pooled in his mouth at the sight of Harry. He sat down at one of the empty spaces and it only took a few moments for Harry to notice him. For a second, Scorpius worried that he would come over and that just seeing him up close would make Scorpius’ heart jump out of his chest, but thank Merlin, he didn’t, but merely nodded and smiled at Scorpius before the meeting started.

After having gone over their schedule, Scorpius was horrified to see that all the 24 new trainees had been sorted into groups of four and assigned one mentor. Of course, Harry had put Scorpius into the group that he himself was mentoring, which meant that Scorpius would have to work with him every day for the next six years of training.

He couldn’t do this, Scorpius was sure of it. Just seeing Harry this morning had made him question what the hell he was even doing with Benjamin when he was, evidentially, still so very much in love with Harry. Was this fair to Ben? Didn’t he deserve better? But it wasn’t like they had been dating for a long time, and Benjamin still hadn’t told him he loved him either, so maybe it was just a process they would have to go through and Scorpius would come around and really fall in love with him in no time at all. Because Ben was great! So great. And he was funny and nice and fantastic in bed!

But even while he knew all of these things, that tiny desperate voice in his head kept shouting _ but he isn’t Harry _.

◊ ◊ ◊

After the introduction, Harry pulled Scorpius to the side, so that they were the only two people left in the room. He had a brilliant smile on his face when he said, “Scorpius, I can’t believe this!” and pulled him into a short but fierce hug.

“Is something wrong?” Scorpius asked, confused but also desperate for Harry’s touch. He wanted to scream_ , yes, please, never let me go! _

“I haven’t seen you in forever. You’ve grown so much,” Harry said, and lifted his hand to rest on Scorpius head “You’re taller than me now.”

The tips of his fingers were moving against Scorpius’ scalp. Merlin, had he missed his touch.

“Yes, Harry.” He tried so hard not to sound as blissful as he felt. “You can take away the Malfoy’s honour and our dignity, but you cannot take our height! Or our exceptionally large feet!” Scorpius joked in his usual screechy voice and Harry broke into instant laughter as he pulled him into yet another hug that completely took Scorpius’ breath away.

“Merlin, I’ve missed you,” Harry said in an almost whisper, and all Scorpius could do not to say it back was bite his lip hard and press his eyes shut.

A rather long moment later Harry pulled away and Scorpius opened his eyes. Harry’s hands were on his shoulders and he was staring at him in such a loving manner, which instantly made Scorpius stomach drop to the floor because he realised…

These were the eyes of a man looking at his son.

Disappointment, pain and desperation stormed in his heart. Scorpius could do what he wanted, could grow up as much as he liked, he would always be a child to Harry.

Unaware of the turmoil going on in Scorpius, Harry suddenly grinned again and his eyes strayed to Scorpius’ neck before he said, “Now let me finally see that tattoo of yours.”

Harry stepped closer, again, and Scorpius looked away, because he couldn’t take being so close to him and not doing more. Presenting the side of his neck to Harry, he asked, “Do you like it?”

“No,” came the immediate answer and Scorpius felt the need to cover himself up with a hand before Harry concluded, “I _ love _it! Does it do anything?”

Relief. A nod. “Spits fire when you stroke it.”

“Hmm,” Harry breathed quietly and then his hand disappeared from Scorpius’ shoulder and Scorpius thought he was done. He finally looked back at him, their eyes locking for a moment before Harry’s hand came up to his neck again and his thumb slowly followed the s-line of the dragon. Scorpius held his breath and watched Harry’s eyes blink with excitement at the sight of Scorpius’ tattoo spitting fire behind the shell of his ear.

The moment seemed to last forever, and after the fourth time that Harry’s thumb caressed behind Scorpius’ ear, he realised that Harry wasn’t touching the dragon anymore. He was touching the spot that he had stroked almost a year ago after he had given Scorpius the necklace, as well as two years ago when they had slept together in Harry’s bed.

Flustered, Scorpius looked back at Harry, and again, their eyes locked. Harry’s lips were slightly parted and his brows furrowed. His finger had stopped moving, but he was still cupping the side of Scorpius’ neck.

“Harry?” Scorpius asked, and he knew that his voice was too quiet for it to sound normal.

This was definitely— 

They were having a moment.

“Scorpius,” Harry started, his voice low, and then his hand fell, “you’re not wearing the necklace.”

Oh.

_ Of course _.

This was just about that. How could he have thought anything else? How could he still be so stupid to keep hoping, after everything?

He couldn’t help it. A snort escaped him. Scorpius wanted to hex himself. Harry’s brows furrowed even more at his reaction.

“My boyfriend doesn’t like jewelry on me, so I stopped wearing it,” Scorpius lied, because how in the world could he tell Harry he couldn’t bear to wear it because it reminded him too much of the intimate moments they had shared. Or how the feeling of Harry’s magic against his naked skin made him feel so good that he couldn’t stop wishing for more.

“Well,” Harry started, and he seemed troubled, “it’s a very useful artifact and will help you loads during your training. Also, no offense, but as long as _ you _ like it—”

“I don’t—,“ Scorpius said quickly, and Harry’s eyes widened a little, “I—I don’t like wearing something like that. It feels like I’m cheating on my training, and I want to get better and accomplish things of my own accord.” At least part of it was true.

“No, I think you misunderstood. It won’t change your magic, it will just correct some minor mistakes and strengthen you in time of need. But… but if you don’t like it and your boyfriend doesn’t, then… I understand.” He didn’t understand, Scorpius could see it in his eyes and hear it in his tone. Harry was disappointed, and Scorpius felt awful for having to lie and not being able to show him how much he really appreciated his gift and thoughtfulness.

But the truth was, Scorpius wanted to wear it. So much. The tingle of Harry’s magic against his chest had become somewhat of a small and warm soothing presence to him and when he had stopped wearing it the day before, his heart had ached at the decision.

“We should go. Your first lesson starts soon,” Harry suddenly said in a smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Scorpius felt horrible as he watched his now-mentor glide past him and out of the door without sending him another look.

◊ ◊ ◊

The first few weeks of training were absolute torture. Not just because Scorpius had to be around Harry constantly and Harry was touching him all the time, showing him how to do spells, using him as a sparring partner to demonstrate Muggle fighting techniques. No, that wasn’t all of it. It was the worst of it, sure, but not all. They had a 60h work week, the Ministry cafeteria was absolute shit, and two of his teammates seemed to hate him because they were jealous of his relationship with Harry, or at least that’s what Scorpius suspected, based on the foul looks they shot him whenever he was talking to Harry. Thank Merlin, the other trainee in his group, Patricia, who had been a Ravenclaw and graduated together with him, didn’t seem to mind that at all and treated him with kindness.

But it took a toll on Scorpius, not getting along with the people he spent every waking minute with, which Harry seemed to notice as well when he came into their group's shared office one day and said, “Scorpius, I need to talk to you in private. Please come to my office.”

Paul shot him an angry look while Jill just rolled her eyes, but Scorpius said nothing, as always, and followed Harry quietly into his office.

“Are you alright, Scorp? You’ve seemed really out of it lately,” Harry said as he sat down into his huge office chair and gestured for Scorpius to take a seat in front of him. “Care to tell me what’s wrong?”

Scorpius didn’t know what to say to that. It was hardly like he could tell him the truth. He didn’t want to tell him that his colleagues hated him because he got along well with Harry. And surely, he couldn’t say that he was having doubts about his relationship with Ben because he was still, after months, insanely in love with Harry. So much so that it made him wake up next to Benjamin in the middle of the night, look at his boyfriend and feel like the worst human being ever. For loving another man. For not being able to do anything about it. He couldn’t tell him that after only two months on the job he was already thinking about quitting. Not because he didn’t enjoy being an Auror, Merlin, he loved it, but because being around Harry was absolute torture, and every time he saw him, he just wanted to kiss him so much. Even now, seeing the worried expression on his face, Scorpius wanted to crawl into his lap, kiss the crease on his forehead and tell him he was alright and that everything would be fine, as long as they were together.

“Scorp?” Harry suddenly said in a whisper and Scorpius realised that tears were streaming down his cheeks.

He just couldn’t do this.

“I’m sorry, I think I have to go home for the day.” Scorpius didn’t need to look up again to know that Harry was nodding and would let him leave, so he stood up, left his bag and cloak and went straight for the lift towards the Floos.

When he got home, Benjamin was sitting on his sofa, repairing the Muggle alarm clock that they had knocked off from Scorpius’ nightstand during a round of crazed sex the night before. He looked concentrated as he tried to work out which parts went together.

The sight of Benjamin, picture perfect Benjamin, who used his lunchtime to come over and repair Scorpius’ stuff, made his heart break and the sobs bubble out of him.

What a horrible person he was for treating Ben that way, for using him to get over Harry. And the worst thing about that was, it wasn’t even working.

“I can’t do it anymore. It’s too hard,” he cried, and Benjamin held him for two hours. And even though Ben should have gone back to the shop, he told him that his boss could suck it and that nothing was more important than being there for Scorpius. And then, after Scorpius had finally stopped crying and was cradled in Benjamin’s arms, a hand stroking through his hair, Benjamin told him he loved him.

Scorpius knew then that there was no way around it. He had to break it off with Benjamin.

◊ ◊ ◊

The end came sooner than expected. Only two weeks later, Benjamin, him and Albus were sitting on the sofa, eating cereal out of small bowls for breakfast, and watching a stupid Muggle show about American monster hunters, when Albus let something slip that would finally lead to their breakup.

“Merlin, that guy’s tattoo looks so much like my dad’s. It probably makes you all hot and bothered, doesn’t it, Scorpius?” Albus was laughing and if it wasn’t for the fact that Benjamin was sitting with them Scorpius would have laughed too, amused that his friend could finally talk about Scorpius’ feelings without glaring at him or making a snarky remark. Unexpectedly, he saw Benjamin looking at him with a frown on his forehead.

“You never told me you had the hots for Harry Potter,” he said and it didn’t sound like he was angry, just surprised, and Scorpius would have played it off as a simple sexual attraction if it hadn’t been for stupid Albus.

“Oh yeah, it was super awkward. But thank Merlin you’re over that. Otherwise working with him every day must be torture.” Albus wasn’t even looking at them when he said that. He was still watching the show and spooning his cereal like the imbecilic fool he was, but when Scorpius looked over at Benjamin, he saw that his wheels were working.

And then his eyes went a little wider and the corner of his mouth twitched.

“_ Are _ you over him?” he asked and looked straight at Scorpius who didn’t dare look away. This was the opportunity that Scorpius had been waiting for for weeks but hadn’t found the guts to go through with. Now he could tell Ben he wasn’t being fair to him, and that he really, really liked Benjamin, but his heart was still with Harry and Scorpius wasn’t sure if he would ever get it back.

But Benjamin was faster than him. “Is that why you came home crying the other day?” He suddenly sounded a little upset and Albus had stopped chewing and was looking at them with a careful expression on his face. “Is that what you meant when you said that it was too hard and you couldn’t take it anymore?”

Not saying anything seemed to be a worthy answer to Benjamin because a moment later he put down his bowl of cereal and stormed into Scorpius’ bedroom. At first, Scorpius thought he just needed to be alone for a while, but after only half a minute or so that Albus and Scorpius spent looking at each other, Albus with an apologetic look on his face for bringing the whole thing up, Ben came out of his room again. He was carrying the few personal items he had brought with him in his hands and had his bag slung over his chest. He stopped in front of the Floo and looked back at Scorpius once more.

“Are you going to just let me leave?” he asked, and Scorpius had never seen Ben cry before, but now he noticed that his cheeks were wet and his eyes red.

“I’m—,” Scorpius started, and he wanted to explain, but he felt like whatever he could say wouldn’t make up for what he had done, so instead he just said, “I’m so sorry.”

And then Ben left, and that was the last that Scorpius ever heard of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading.  
Kudos and comments make my day :)


	5. Chapter 5

It was Sunday, which meant that Scorpius was visiting his father at the Manor for a shared afternoon and dinner. He had hoped that maybe his dad would help him take his mind off of everything surrounding the Ministry, his training and Harry, but of course, the first thing Draco asked him after they had sat down together in the dining room was, “How are things with Benjamin?”

_ Great_, would have been his usual reply, even if that wasn’t true most of the time. But today, Scorpius couldn’t even bring himself to lie. A sigh was all that he could muster before he pressed his mouth shut. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to complain about Harry to his dad. Or about anything else that made Scorpius miserable at the moment because he didn’t trust his dad not to try to do something about it. It was true that Draco didn’t misuse the standing of the Malfoy name like his grandfather had but he was not beyond talking to the right people to ease some of Scorpius’ pain.

“Talk to me, son.”

“Seeing that we broke up, I’d say, not good.” They looked at each other and Scorpius could see Draco trying very hard not to frown. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

“You don’t look fine,” his dad said and swished his wand, filling up their goblets with water. “Don’t make the same mistakes that I did. Bottling everything up will only make it worse. Talk to me. I can listen and try to give you some advice.”

It felt good to hear that his dad was there for him, no matter what, and Scorpius swallowed, thinking hard whether he was the right person to talk to concerning this. After all, most of his problems stemmed from his unrequited feelings for Harry and that might be a strange subject to discuss with his dad.

But who else did he have? Albus wouldn’t want to listen either.

“Is this even about Benjamin?” Draco said at the exact moment that Scorpius thought about Harry and he shook his head. “About Harry then?” Scorpius nodded. “What has he done to you?”

_ Oh, dad, not much just, you know, stole my heart and then continued to let it starve for his love and make me unable to love or be with anybody else without hurting them. _

A sigh. “What has he _ not _ done to me?”

But apparently, that was the wrong answer. Draco’s knuckles were white around the rim of his glass when he asked, voice cold and low, “Did he touch you?”

“Oh!” Scorpius realised how that might have come across and he spat out an ugly laugh, “God, dad. No! I wish.” His dad had gotten it all wrong. “I promise you, if he had touched me then I would be much _ much _ happier.”

Just as suspected, he should not have discussed this subject with his dad. Draco was staring at his empty plate, jaw working as he must have been using every bit of willpower in his body so as not to set anything on fire.

“Let’s change the subject, dad.”

“No.” But it sounded like a _ yes, please! _ “You are my son and I will listen to your troubles. Please do continue.”

Knowing his dad wouldn’t let it go, Scorpius just sighed and said, “It’s just hard being with him all the time, knowing that nothing will ever happen between us, is all. And I’m having a hard time getting over him. It doesn’t help that Harry looks like an Adonis, you know?” Now he laughed, awkwardly and his dad just stared at him.

There was silence and Scorpius was definitely done sharing his thoughts while Draco was working on whatever he would say next.

“No, Scorpius, in fact, I do not _ know _,” he started all tense and took a sip from his drink. “I can promise you, though, there is someone much more suitable for you out there.”

“Right,” Scorpius fake-smiled, “many fish in the sea.”

“Or in your case,” his dad continued, looking a little amused all of a sudden, “sausages.”

It took Scorpius a second to get the reference but when he did, he grinned at Draco who smirked back at him before taking his hand above the table and squeezing it. Hard.

“Ready for dinner?” he asked with a smile and Scorpius nodded, mouthing a mute _ thanks _.

◊ ◊ ◊

His Auror robes were gone. Again!

Patricia eyed him worriedly from the side while she re-buttoned her robes after their combat training had ended and they were getting ready to leave for lunch. “You reckon it was Jill and Paul again?” She nodded towards their two partners who were grinning at each other and then walking out of the room without looking back at them.

“I suppose,” Scorpius said and let his head hang and sat back down on the wooden bench by the lockers. “Tell me again, Pat, what I did to them to make them hate me so much?”

“Well, they idolize Harry. They came all the way from America to train under him,” she started as he sat down next to him, crossing her legs, “I guess they don’t like that most of his attention is on you.”

Scorpius could understand that. Or at least he would be able to if that actually was the case because Harry’s attention surely wasn’t only on him. Sure, he talked to him more during breaks and maybe associated a little more with him than with the other trainees but that was only because they knew each other. They’d, after all, shared a lot of intimate moments together. It was hard going back to just professional after that.

“To be honest, Scorpius,” Pat said from beside him and she looked a little embarrassed, “It’s been bothering me as well and we-“ she quickly said, looking down, as if she wanted it to be over fast, “We complained to Harry about it. Yesterday.” She wouldn’t look at him and Scorpius was shocked to hear that even Patricia was involved in that but he didn’t believe that she had anything to do with the bullying, “But he completely ignored anything we said, wouldn’t listen at all and actually told us he was really disappointed in us for ganging up on our partner and then he punished us all by assigning us each five extra low-grade cases.”

She stretched out her hands towards Scorpius. Still flabbergasted by the news of Patricia’s participation in any of it and Harry’s reaction, he looked down at them and they were covered in deep fresh scratches.

“I had to get Mrs. Parfields’s kneazle out of the Ministry’s Floo Network and it scratched me all up, the little beast,” she spat but then snorted when she added, “Stupid kneazle scratches can’t be healed by magic.”

“And why are you telling me this?” he asked sincerely because she couldn’t possibly expect him to help her out now after they’d basically went behind his back and complained about him.

“Can’t you talk to Harry?”

“About?”

“About how he favours you, Scorpius!” She shouted and Scorpius flinched back, “I know it’s not your fault but you can’t pretend not to notice. He gives you all the interesting cases, he always takes you along to his high-grade cases and he praises and rewards you by sending you home earlier than any of us. It’s unfair!” Her face was getting red while she was shouting all of that. “And don’t you think we would also like to eat lunch with Harry Potter every now and then? But the two of you always just run off together! It’s like you are secretly dating or something.”

For a second there he thought about saying that maybe he just did better than them so he deserved to get better treatment, but just looking at the frustration on Patricia’s face made him rethink that. He quickly realised that everything she was saying was true. It was unfair and Scorpius did not deserve to be treated so much better than them. Quite the contrary, Patricia was obviously the best out of the four of them and even if Paul and Jill were absolute brick faces, they had come here to learn from the best.

“Alright,” he said, standing up and taking out his wand to try to summon his Auror robes. Nothing. “I will talk to Harry tomorrow.”

There was silence between them and Patricia wouldn’t look at him for a few more seconds. Then she stood up, patted down her robes and said, “Check the broom cupboard.” And left with a quiet, “Thank you, Scorpius.”

Scorpius did check the broom cupboard and see there, three of his recently lost Auror robes were rolled up messily and hidden behind a box of copy paper.

◊ ◊ ◊

When he came home that night, after having had dinner out with Albus and then watched him apparate over to his new girlfriend’s place for the night, he put down his robes on the chimney and was planning to make himself a cuppa and get into a steaming hot bath. However, on his way to the kitchen, it surprised him to see Harry seated at their kitchen counter, spooning a bowl of fried rice.

“Harry?”

He usually did not just show up at their place unannounced or worse, let himself in. The Floo Network allowed him to pass, though, as he was Al’s father and Scorpius’ boss but still, Scorpius looked at him in wonder from the kitchen door.

“Oh, hey!” Harry said and whipped his spoon up in a greeting, making grains of rice fly through the whole kitchen. “Sorry about that,” he said with a full mouth and swished the spoon as if it was his wand, making the mess disappear. “I was waiting for Al.”

“He’s out for the weekend,” Scorpius said, not wanting to reveal his exact whereabouts because he was pretty sure that Albus hadn’t told anybody about Caroline yet, “I can... take a message?”

Harry chewed a few more times and swallowed before he replied, “I was just going to make sure he comes over to the Burrow for Charlie’s birthday next weekend. Remind him, won’t you?” he smiled and Scorpius nodded.

Still standing in the door, awkwardly, Scorpius watched Harry take a few more spoonfuls of his dinner before he suddenly stopped and looked up at Scorpius and said, “Wait. Am I-“ he swallowed, “bothering you? Sorry, I wasn’t even thinking this might be inappropriate. I just let myself in here.”

“No!” Scorpius said, holding up his hands, “It’s fine. You can come whenever, of course. Mi casa es su casa,” he sang, stretching out his arm and making a small bow upon which Harry barked out a laugh.

“Well, great. Then why don’t you join me?” he gestured towards the stool next to his but Scorpius patted his full stomach and said

“I just ate but I can make us some tea and we can watch some muggle TV together while you finish that?” he offered, suddenly in a better mood than he had been in a while at the prospect of spending time alone with Harry in an environment where he didn’t have to watch himself. Ok, well, he still had to watch himself not to jump Harry, but this felt like maybe they could be themselves around each other again. Like they had used to.

Harry seemed equally enthusiastic when he grasped his bowl and made himself comfortable in front of the TV, waiting for Scorpius to come sit down next to him with two cups of steaming earl grey in his hands. But the moment Scorpius entered the living room he saw Harry standing next to the Floo, frowning at the three sets of dusty Auror robes.

“Oh, those,” Scorpius started but stopped because he didn’t know how to continue. Harry was rubbing at the dust with his fingertips and then the frown got even more prominent.

“Are your partners bullying you, Scorp?”

He said neither no nor yes but his silence seemed to tell Harry everything he wanted to know. “I’m so sorry I didn’t notice before. Don’t think I will let them get away with it. On Monday I will call them into my office and punish them server-“

“No, Harry, actually,“ he walked towards him and pulled him towards the sofa by his forearm, “I wanted to talk to you about that.”

They sat, facing each other and Harry was waiting for him to say whatever he wanted to tell Harry, but Scorpius was busy watching their knees touch and Harry’s fingers resting on the cushion right next to Scorpius’ thigh. Just an inch more and they would be on him.

“Scorpius?” Harry asked, and he quickly looked up, hoping that Harry didn’t notice the flush on his face.

“Yes. Right. Business. Let’s talk business.”

Harry’s brows were still furrowed when Scorpius started explaining, “The others are feeling treated unfairly because of you favouring me, Harry. You give me the most interesting cases and take me along everywhere you go. It’s -,” Scorpius saw Harry’s expression grow a little colder, “It’s understandable, really. They idolize you and they wish to be seen as equals and not as inferior to me because of our past relationship,” Scorpius swallowed because Harry didn’t seem to like what he was saying based on how tense he was holding his jaw, “They are letting their frustration out on me. Well, not Patricia. She is fine, really, but the other two not so much. Bunch of dimwits if you ask me.”

“I see,” Harry said way quicker than Scorpius had expected, “so is taking your robes all they’ve done or did they do anything else to you?”

Shaking his head, Scorpius explained, “That’s not what this conversation is about. I just want to ask you to not favour me. At least not so obvious.”

“I _ understand _,” Harry said again and his stare was so intense and unblinking that Scorpius grew even more nervous, “but as your boss I demand you tell me everything. How have they been bullying you, Scorpius?”

“But, _ do _ you understand?” Scorpius asked a little unsure, doing his trademark nervous laugh, “I feel like you are not hearing me.”

“I understand that the others wrongly assume that because of our history I am favouring you. That is not the case. I assign the hardest cases to you because you are the best, Scorpius.“ And Scorpius wanted to interrupt and tell him that obviously, Patricia was much better than him in all of their joined classes but Harry continued, “Maybe they can best you in some classes, but you, unlike them, have actual experience fighting against dark magic. You, unlike them, did not become an Auror because you want to spend time with your idol, but because you saw what’s out there and just like me, you feel like it is your responsibility to do something about it. That is why I am giving you better cases, Scorpius. Not because I watched you grow up or because I changed your dirty sheets after that… accident in the summer of the fifth year.”

It took every ounce of strength in Scorpius’ body to ignore that last extremely embarrassing comment and focus on the rest of what Harry had said. It sounded like Harry thought he had a good reason for his case assignments but what Harry didn’t know was that a big reason Scorpius had become an Auror was also that he had wanted to spend time with Harry. He wanted him to respect him and be proud of him. Not as an idol but as something else entirely.

“But Harry, how are they going to get any experience if you don’t let them join you for any of your missions? It’s always been just me and I’m not complaining, I love going with you, but all they get to do is go to classes, paperwork and fishing cats out of Floo Networks!”

Something was working in Harry’s mind and Scorpius was sure that he had reached him somehow because Harry didn’t reply immediately but breathed out through his nose and then nodded.

“Fine. I get it. I will think about how to handle it from now on. But I still want to know what they’ve done to you aside from taking your robes, Scorp.”

A little relieved Scorpius leaned back in the cushion and laughed, “Nothing too serious. Throw me mean looks, talk behind my back and trip me every once in a while. Nothing I’m not used to, really.”

Harry was staring at him, eyes sad, and drawled, “I’m sorry you’ve had to get used to that,” before he relaxed back a little as well and a hand came up to rest on Scorpius’ forearm, “Please tell me whenever someone is bullying you. I will handle it professionally.”

Nodding, they locked eyes and when Scorpius smiled Harry returned it quickly but there was a kind of melancholy in his eyes that Scorpius had a hard time ignoring.

“You got bullied a lot as a child, didn’t you?” he asked and watched the smile disappear from Harry’s lips.

“By my aunt and uncle, by my cousin, kids at my school, other Hogwarts students-“ he started.

“My father?” Scorpius asked and bit his lip at the mentioning of that subject. Harry gave him a strict side glance before he couldn’t pretend anymore and broke into a grin.

“It’s fine, I sliced him up real nice as a thanks for that in the sixth year,” and then they both laughed. “I never asked if it left any scars.”

“Oh, it did!” Scorpius replied and Harry’s eyes went a little wide before Scorpius explained that his dad actually grew to like the scars because his mum had always found them sexy and used to trace them with her finger, even in public through his dress shirt. Lucius and Narcissa had hated her even more for it. Called her inappropriate.

“Huh, if scars are sexy then I must be sex on a stick,” the older man joked and pointed at his forehead, at his hand and side and then at the place between his pecs where Scorpius knew to lay a nest of dark curly hair and a black tattoo that covered the oval-shaped scar on his torso.

“You are,” Scorpius whispered, still glancing at Harry’s sadly covered chest before a sharp intake of breath from the man next to him snapped him out of his thoughts and he quickly added, “a good example for a person who has a lot of scars. That you are!” Scorpius laughed hysterically and then added, “Let me get us some milk and sugar!”

Quickly getting to his feet he rushed into the kitchen and almost took a frying pan to hit himself in the face with it at his stupid comment.

“Typical, stupid Scorpius,” he whispered to himself, took a few more breaths to calm himself down and then re-entered the living room with sugar and milk in his hands and a wide stupid-grin on his face.

Harry wasn’t looking at him but zapping through the channels when Scorpius sat back down next to him. Through mutual nodding they agreed on watching an old episode of one of Scorpius’ favourite TV shows _ Merlin _ and while Harry ate and Scorpius drank, they discussed the inaccurate depictions of magic in the show and the obvious queerbaiting between the two male lead characters, though, Harry wasn’t familiar with the term and Scorpius had to explain it to him first.

After finishing the first episode, Harry had finished with his food and their mugs were empty. He saw Harry fidgeting around with his feet, obviously unsure whether he should offer to leave or ask to stay, so Scorpius said, “You busy tomorrow? How about we binge-watch the first season together?” As a response, a brilliant smile met him as Harry kicked off his shoes under the coffee table.

Harry was lonely. It was painfully obvious and Scorpius felt bad for him but he was also excited beyond belief that _ he _ was the one that Harry had come to. It made him feel special and watching Harry pull off his pullover and unbutton the first three buttons of his shirt quickly confirmed that this had been a brilliant idea.

Throughout watching two more episodes that evening, Harry continued to take off his socks and stretch one of his legs out to rest on Scorpius’ thigh. Needless to say, Scorpius spent that episode watching Harry move his toes every so often, wondering and remembering what they had felt like against him that one time they had spent the night together in Harry’s bed in Godric’s Hollow.

Closing his eyes, he concentrated on the feeling of Harry’s leg pressed against his and imagined that it was one and a half years ago and Harry was holding him close against his chest. He could still remember the smell of him and the slight dampness of his skin as if it had all happened yesterday. Inhaling deeply Scorpius could even get a sniff of Harry who was sitting so close to him.

This time, though, Scorpius had put a pillow over his crotch so whatever effect Harry would have on him, it wouldn’t make him have to turn away. He could just enjoy their closeness and maybe Harry would let him fall asleep like that and he would dream of their night together.

But it came differently. When Scorpius opened his eyes again, having been dozing off to his fantasy, he noticed that Harry’s leg against him had grown much heavier and his head had fallen to the side, almost leaning against Scorpius’ shoulder.

“Harry?” Scorpius asked but the man only breathed in and out evenly through his nose as a reply and pulled his other leg closer towards Scorpius as well.

For a while, Scorpius just watched him sleep. Watched the way his eyelids fluttered every so often and how his head slowly but steadily kept moving closer towards him until it finally plopped onto Scorpius’ shoulder and Harry’s whole body turned towards him. He basically planted his whole length against Scorpius’ side.

“Fuck,” Scorpius whispered when Harry’s arm came to rest on the cushion in his lap and the pressure made him feel more of those things he shouldn’t be feeling too much off. But then again, Harry was asleep and Scorpius was craving his touch more than anything.

So instead of waking him and telling him to go back home, Scorpius let Harry sleep and while he watched the love of his life get more and more comfortable against his side, he allowed himself to fall asleep as well and bathe in the closeness that he surely wouldn’t be getting again so fast.

◊ ◊ ◊

The next morning, Scorpius woke flat on his back with the whole of Harry Potter lying on top of him and his nose nestled behind his ear, covered by Scorpius’ hair. The painful throb of his leg that had gone numb under Harry’s weight was completely ignored when Scorpius slowly turned to face Harry. Their noses were almost touching and Scorpius could feel Harry’s small puffs of air against his lips. At first, he was only planning to watch him sleep for a while longer like he had done the night before, but after staying in that position for what must have been at least twenty minutes, Scorpius couldn’t resist the tingling in his fingers anymore. Shaking, he pulled his right hand up and glided his fingers over the stubble on the man’s cheek. He was drawing a wavy line from where it started next to his ear, down over his cheekbone, chin and then down his neck until his fingertips reached his Adam’s apple. His fingers rested there, his eyes still closed as Scorpius breathed in deeply and he tried to lock the memory of this feeling, of this moment, deep into his brain so that he could call it up anytime he wanted. So that if he had one of those really sad days, he could find comfort in the warmth and intimacy of their position and the feeling of Harry’s face on the tips of his fingers.

Scorpius was almost about to pull away when he felt the Adam’s apple under his fingers move and he ripped his eyes open and looked at Harry—who was looking back at him. Eyes wide and questioning, Harry swallowed again and Scorpius’ fingers slid up a few inches until they were resting against his jaw.

Scorpius was still touching him and Harry was letting him.

Panicking would have probably been the most natural reaction Scorpius could have had at that moment, but instead he felt calm. He was sure that whatever would happen, Scorpius was doing the right thing by being true to himself _and_ to Harry. So he just let it happen the way it was supposed to instead of pulling away his fingers or finding some kind of excuse to explain why he’d been touching Harry in his sleep.

Now, his fingers were stroking Harry’s face again and Scorpius was looking at Harry like he wished Harry would look at him.

There was no doubt that the other man had finally figured Scorpius out. His mouth had opened, as if to say something, but then shut again the moment Scorpius rested his hand on the side of his neck and softly caressed his cheek with his thumb.

It felt like hours before Harry averted his eyes and his hand came up to take Scorpius’ wrist in his to stop his movement.

Scorpius wanted to say something, his mouth already hanging open but the words not coming out. So instead he leaned forward, not even an inch because that would have already sealed the deal. Then their noses were touching and Harry was still staring at him.

They were about to kiss, their lips about to touch when Harry whispered, “We can’t.” He sat up so fast, the sudden blood rush to Scorpius’ numb leg felt almost as uncomfortable as Scorpius knew he was going to be after whatever Harry had to say.

The man pulled his legs to the carpet. He seemed more affected than he wanted Scorpius to know. Harry’s fingers were trembling when he pulled the scrunchie out of his hair to re-do his bun and then stood, making place for Scorpius to turn into a sitting position as well. “Thanks for letting me stay the night,” Harry said and then he turned around and there was a painful smile on his face that tore Scorpius apart.

“Wait, please, Harry,” Scorpius breathed and grasped for his forearm, making sure he wouldn’t just leave. “If you didn’t hate it, then please stay-“

“Scorp,” Harry whined, putting a free hand to his forehead and closing his eyes, “You’re like a son to me.”

Knowing that Harry would say that didn’t make hearing it hurt any less. “You’re definitely not like a dad to me,” Scorpius replied in a nervous laugh and Harry sighed out loud, letting his hand fall down again.

“I noticed.” And then he pulled his arm free just to put both of his hands up to his face again, covering it and rubbing against his eyes, “This is my fault. I’ve-,” he stopped and then he laughed, “This is completely on me. I shouldn’t have treated you the way I did. Making you think that there could ever be anything more between us. I’m sorry.”

“But Harry,” Scorpius begged, standing up and putting his trembling hands on Harry’s shoulders, “there _ is _ more between us. I’m not your son. We’re not just friends. What we have has always been different. Since that time when you kissed me under the mistletoe years ago, I’ve been in lov-“

“Don’t! Please!” Harry shouted and crunched his face into such a suffering expression, it made Scorpius hold his breath and his hands slip from Harry’s shoulders. “Don’t ever say that. You were how old then? 15? 16? How could you have thought there was anything between us then? I was still with Ginny! You were a child, Scorpius. You still are!”

“I’m not!”

“But don’t you see, you are to me,” he shouted, “You will always be a child to me, Scorp. My precious child.”

“I am not YOUR child,” Scorpius screamed back and he was pretty sure it was the first time he had ever raised his voice at Harry, “I have a wonderful father and his name is Draco Malfoy. Not for a second did I ever mistake you for a father figure, Harry! You are Harry Potter, my best friend’s dad, the saviour of the wizarding world, sexiest wizard alive for 5 years in a row and catch of the century according to _Witch Weekly_. You are a lot of things, Harry, but you are NOT _ my _ father!”

“I get it!” Harry shouted and suddenly he looked angry. He seemed frustrated with Scorpius and done with the situation. He made for his shoes while repeating, “You are not my child and I am not your father. It has become crystal clear to me how you see me, Scorpius. To you, just like everyone else, I am Harry Potter, the saviour. A trophy!”

No, that wasn’t it at all. But Scorpius couldn’t talk anymore. His head was spinning. His heart was beating out of his chest. How had it come to this?

“I am not your anything apart from your boss. And from now on that’s all I’ll ever be to you, Scorpius. Do _ you _ get that?” Harry stood still, his face only a few inches from Scorpius’ and he was staring at him, waiting for a reply or a nod but Scorpius was unable to do anything apart from squeezing his eyes shut.

He was expecting Harry to continue screaming at him, to keep waiting until Scorpius opened his eyes and said something, but instead there were footsteps and then Harry shouted out “Godric’s Hollow!” and was gone.

Sinking to his knees, Scorpius began to weep.

◊ ◊ ◊

After a weekend spent crying and Albus coming back on Sunday morning, finding Scorpius motionless under the hot stream of their shower, Scorpius had made a decision.

He had to get over Harry.

It was a decision he had made before but never before had it been that crucial to his mental well-being. Having the man he loved more than anything look at him with such disgust and hatred, diminishing their relationship to nothing more than that of a boss and his subordinate was probably the worst that could have happened. Not only was Scorpius now forced to keep seeing the man he loved who didn’t love him back, but they had also destroyed their long intimate relationship. From now on Scorpius had to pretend that Harry Potter was just his boss and nothing more and Scorpius just couldn’t imagine any scenario where that would work out. Which is why he had made another decision.

He had to leave the Aurors.

When he told that to Albus and his dad later that Sunday, explaining in a few words what had happened between him and Harry (“I confessed my feelings to Harry and got rejected”) and how that had led to his decision to leave the Aurors for the time being, both of them had had a similar reaction. They’d advised him to rethink, whether he couldn’t make it work, but then Albus had said that he would support him no matter and Draco had offered to talk to his contacts at the French Ministry to see if they had a position for him there.

Sunday night, his father flooed over to pass him a set of papers and tell him it was a done deal. The head of the French Department of Magical Law Enforcement had given his okay for Scorpius to transfer over within the month as long as Harry Potter signed over his transfer papers.

“And if he doesn’t want to sign them,“ Draco started, his fist clenched tightly around the bundle of documents. Scorpius could tell that this was hard for his dad. He probably wanted nothing more than to go meet Harry personally and… well, probably hurt him. But Scorpius had made him promise not to interfere.

“He will sign them,” Scorpius reassured his dad and himself and dreaded the next morning.

◊ ◊ ◊

When Scorpius stepped into Harry’s office on Monday and silently dropped the transfer papers on his table, right in front of his nose, Harry just looked at them, a weird glimmer in his eyes, and then back at Scorpius.

“What is this?” He was still staring at Scorpius, not even reading the head of the documents.

“Papers that will allow me to transfer my Auror training to-“

“No chance.” The words had come out of Harry’s mouth so fast, Scorpius had almost missed them.

Alright, Harry was stubborn. That wasn’t new information.

“I ask you to reconsider,” Scorpius said in a tone that was very unlike Scorpius but very much Malfoy. A tone that was so deprived of emotions, nobody could tell what was going on in his head. That Scorpius was shouting for Harry to be more compassionate, to not look at him with such cold eyes. To call him _ Scorp _ and say they were going to be fine.

But Harry looked away, finally taking the papers in his hands, skimming through them and then letting them fall back on the table in front of him. “I did,” he said and then repeated, “No chance.”

“Why?” Scorpius asked, swallowing hard. He wasn’t good at pretending to be indifferent. “It shouldn’t matter to you. After all, you said that you are only my boss anyway.”

“Oh, stop it!” Harry sounded annoyed and leaned on his chair’s arm to push himself up so that he was facing Scorpius from behind the desk, “You know I didn’t mean that. I overreacted, I apologize.” But his tone wasn’t apologetic at all. On the contrary, it sounded like he had to force the words out. “Don’t let this...” he was gesturing wildly with one hand, searching for a word and finally coming up with, “_crush _ interfere with your career choices. That would be stupid.”

Wanting to laugh, Scorpius didn’t say anything for a moment and just pressed a palm to his mouth. When he felt sure that he would not say or do something he would regret later, he simply explained, “It’s not just that. I also don’t get along with my co-workers. The hours here are shit and I was promised that the French Auror training program takes more care of their trainee’s work-life balance.” He was copying the words that his dad had told him to say if Harry caused any problems. “Also, I will get to live with my grandparents, with whom I haven’t been able to spend much time until now.”

“You _ hate _ your grandparents,” Harry replied and Scorpius had seen it coming. After all, they had spent a lot of time talking shit about Lucius together. “Do you even speak French?”

“Oui,” Scorpius replied and hoped that Harry wouldn’t ask to hear anymore because that was basically all he could say in French. But tht's what translation spells were for.

“So,” Harry sighed, sitting back down and looking up at Scorpius. “You are telling me that this,” he pointed between the two of them, “has nothing to do with this,” he said, now pointing at the transfer request.

“No, I am telling you it’s only one of many reasons I want to transfer.”

“Then why haven’t you mentioned thinking of a transfer before?” Harry asked, throwing his hands up into the air.

“Because,” Scorpius spat, trying very hard not to shout, “until a few days ago, I wanted to be by your side more than that.”

There was silence apart from the ticking of the clock on the wall behind Harry’s chair. Then

“You’re making a mistake, Scorpius.”

This time Scorpius couldn’t stop the snort from escaping him, “No,” he said in his squeaky Scorpius-voice. “It was a mistake when I tried to kiss you and told you how I felt.”

And to Scorpius’ utter horror that was the moment, Harry picked up the quill, pulled out the last page of the document and signed it. Handing it over, he simply said, “Yes. It was.”

◊ ◊ ◊

Three days later Scorpius moved to France.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've made it half way through my story already! Five more chapters to go. Thanks so much for sticking with me up until now. I would love some feedback in the comments. Pretty please <3


	6. Chapter 6

When Scorpius left for Paris, he swore to himself that he wouldn’t date anybody while he was still hung up on Harry. He just didn’t want a repeat of what had happened with Benjamin. How he had broken his heart. So, Scorpius decided that he would just stick to hook-ups instead of looking for a serious relationship because casual sex wouldn’t leave anybody with hurt feelings. Nope, both parties would be able to continue on with their lives, hurt-free and sexually satisfied—or at least that was the plan. During his time in France, Scorpius managed to pull a few other desperate blokes he met at clubs. However, to be honest, none of the experiences left him anything close to satisfied. Quite the contrary, being socially awkward and trying to pull someone at a bar was really more tiring than any sex could make up for.

But what was even more exhausting was that even with the months and years passing, Scorpius could still feel his knees become pudding every time he saw a picture of Harry on the front pages of _ Le Cri de la Gargouille— _a French wizarding newspaper that Scorpius picked up daily to improve his French skills. Instead of getting more wrinkled and less attractive over time, Harry seemed to just get more fit and stylish. It almost seemed like being divorced and not having small children to care for made Harry gain back his youthfulness and the energy that Scorpius himself had watched drain out of Harry during his and Albus’ Hogwarts’ years.

Scorpius felt like the man he had shared a mug of hot chocolate with years ago was now much younger than he had been back then, which, obviously, made little sense.

Anyway, despite having been in a relationship back in England and having had sex with a handful of French strangers, his feelings for Harry were still unchanged, glowing hot red and making him squeeze the snake pendant around his neck—he hadn't been able to leave behind—with such longing that it cut into his hand painfully. However, the teenage excitement that had once filled him with so much happiness and made him look forward to every holiday spent with the Potters, was now the one thing in his life that Scorpius hated the most. That burning passion and desire had become so painful over the years that even just the mention of Harry Potter made the wound that their fight had left in his heart hurt like it was still fresh. Like it had never healed.

Mostly, Scorpius was miserable in Paris. Living in a country where they spoke a language he didn’t know was anything but easy. Furthermore, Scorpius was rubbish at picking up languages and even after years, he could barely have a normal conversation with someone in French without the help of a spell. However, being a wizard came with being able to use translation spells to communicate. But the downside to translation spells was that you had to recast them about every 30 minutes—which was even more annoying than it sounded.

Another aspect that contributed to Scorpius’ misery during his trainee years was that he didn’t know anyone in France. For the first two years, Scorpius felt lonelier than he had in a long time—maybe since his big fall-out with Albus during the fourth year where they’d not talked for weeks. Well, alright, he did have his grandparents but they honestly only made it worse. He could tell that his grandmother was trying to be kind to him, trying to understand what she called his “curious lifestyle”, but if she was even trying, she did a bad job of hiding how much she detested everything he did.

The one good thing that did happen to Scorpius, though, was Ricardo Chapel. Ricardo had transferred into their trainee program in year 3, coming over from Uganda, and with him too being too strange to really get along with anybody but Scorpius, the two of them took to each other like fish and chips.

Not half a year after they’d befriended, they moved into a tiny flat together that was much too small for the two of them but really all that Ricardo could afford and Scorpius found that he couldn’t care less about the condition of his transitional living quarter as long as he could get away from his grandparents. Of course, they tried to talk him out of it, apparently still thinking their influence could turn him into the grandson they wanted him to be, but they gave up the second Scorpius introduced them to Ricardo. A single look at the boy with his tiny frame, bushy black hair, black-polished nails and flowery combat boots shut them up, as if Scorpius had just introduced them to the next dark lord. “Are you sure you want to live with… _that_?” his grandfather asked him before Scorpius glared at him so hard, he made the man flinch. Needless to say, Scorpius was glad to be rid of them once and for all.

For his 21st birthday, Scorpius and Ricardo threw a party at their new flat and of course, they invited Albus, who brought his girlfriend Caroline. The moment they flooed over, he and Al jumped into each other’s arms with Ricardo watching them with a confused side-glance.

“I thought you said you wanted to fuck his dad,” he said in French and for a moment Scorpius panicked because even if Al wasn’t as disgusted at his feelings for Harry anymore, Scorpius didn’t think he’d be comfortable hearing… that. But Al looked at Ricardo with a lopsided smile.

“Oh sorry, I don’t speak French. But I’m Albus Potter. This is my girlfriend Caroline. You must be Ricardo.”

“Ricardo Chapel. Nice to meet you,” he said in his accent, showing them a toothy grin.

A few hours, ten introductions and a lot of alcoholic punch later, Albus and Caroline were dancing in their living room between five other guests who were mostly trainees from different branches of the Ministère that Ricardo had lured over with the promise of free food and beer.

Scorpius was watching his best friend twirl around his girlfriend, a huge grin on his face, when Ricardo came up to him, a cocktail in his hand, and pointed at a lone girl on the dance floor and said, “I bet her pussy tastes like fruit punch.”

Pulling his face into a grimace Scorpius replied, “So you are _ that _kind of drunk. How delightful.“

Ricardo laughed at that and then forced the straw of his greenish ghastly looking drink between Scorpius’ lips and shouted over the music, “What do you think Harry Potter’s cock tastes like?”

Scorpius almost answered that obviously, he had never thought about that because he wasn’t a perv like Ricardo, but he was more than a little drunk, so he sighed and said in something that sounded almost like a moan, “Like a salty cracker.”

Ricardo eyed him suspiciously. “Is that a good taste?”

“The best.” And then he pulled his favourite crackers from the buffet next to them and bit into one with relish.

After that, they joined the dance floor and Ricardo taught everyone his best moves that involved rubbing your genitalia against another person’s hip. Albus and Caroline almost died laughing when Scorpius attempted to do it on Ricardo who started screaming bloody murder the moment Scorpius ground against him.

The next day, Albus and Caroline left, but before they took their portkey home, Albus pulled Scorpius to the side, a shit-eating smile on his face and said, “So you and Ricardo, huh?”

“What?” Scorpius asked completely perplexed to how Albus could have come to such a conclusion.

His friend slapped him on the arm in a laugh.

“Don’t even try to deny it. The two of you were practically on top of each other the whole evening yesterday.”

As true as that was, Scorpius was pretty sure they had done nothing to make it seem like they were romantically interested in each other.

“But I think he’s really fun. Much better than,“ Albus stopped, looking a little unsure.

“Your dad,” Scorpius finished his sentence for him and Albus nodded sheepishly.

“Yeah,” and then he looked around to make sure that Ricardo wasn’t listening in, “You are completely over him this time, right?”

Scorpius couldn’t remember the last time he had lied to his friend. He couldn’t remember if he had ever lied to him. But there was such desperation in how Albus was gripping his arm with much more force than he probably noticed himself. He fixed his eyes on Scorpius’ face, waiting for his reaction. So, for the sake of everybody, except his own, Scorpius forced a smile on his face.

“Yes. Haven’t thought of him in months! Ricardo is keeping me preoccupied. With all the, you know, cock in my face!” He was cringing from the inside but the lie was worth it when he found Albus laugh at Scorpius’ remark, though his brows were pulled together in a too-much-information kind of frown.

“That’s great.” Albus patted him on the shoulder but then shrugged to himself and pulled Scorpius in another long and hard hug. “Visit soon, yeah?” he asked and with a nod from Scorpius he left.

◊ ◊ ◊

A few months before their training officially ended, Scorpius handed in his request to transfer back to the Ministry of Magic in London. His initial plans had been to stay in France as long as it took for him to get over Harry but after almost six years of no contact with the man and still waking up to his face being the first thing he thought of, Scorpius had come to the bitter conclusion that he would probably not get over Harry. Ever. And there was no way he would stay in Paris any longer. He missed his dad. He missed Albus. He missed being able to understand what was happening around him.

It was time to go home.

Weeks passed waiting for a reply from Harry, who Scorpius knew handled the transfer requests for his department himself because he was still Head Auror. So, it was basically his decision whether he would let Scorpius transfer back. After over a month of no further notice of his request even making it on Harry’s table, Scorpius started thinking maybe Harry didn’t want to take him back. Maybe he was still mad at him for trying to kiss him or maybe he just wanted nothing to do with Scorpius anymore… forever. But then, on a Sunday morning, strangely, he got an owl. Not a ministry owl, but Harry’s owl, Kiwi.

She knocked her beak against the tiny kitchen window of their shitty flat where Ricardo was making Scorpius a dreadfully strong breakfast tea and Scorpius was leaning over the kitchen counter, pealing himself a tangerine, when he saw and recognized her.

“Come here, cutie,” Ricardo said in French after he had opened the window and the brown Rufous Fishing owl had tapped onto their kitchen counter and dropped a letter next to the fruit bowl. “For you.” Ricardo handed him the letter, not seeming very interested in it but more in patting Kiwi and looking for an extra big treat for her.

Swallowing hard, Scorpius immediately identified Harry’s horrible scrawl on the envelope. It read his name and based on the stationery he had used this was definitely not the signed official transfer papers.

Excusing himself without further comments, Scorpius took the letter and went into his room.

He hadn’t heard from Harry in years. Not since their discussion in his office when he had signed his transfer request for Paris. They hadn’t exchanged letters, not even for Christmas or their birthdays which had been a sign for Scorpius that Harry was really really done with him. That even though he had said on their last dreadful meeting, that he didn’t mean that they weren’t anything anymore, it had actually become true. Harry had disappeared from his life.

Until now.

With shaking fingers and Harry’s magic around his neck teasing his chest Scorpius slowly opened the envelope and pulled out a single sheet of parchment.

_ Dear Scorpius, _

_ You are probably wondering why it’s taking me so long to approve your transfer. To clear things up, I’ve signed it weeks ago but there have been major hold-ups in the Post Department. I still wanted to let you know that you are very welcome to re-join our department starting the 1__st _ _ of September. _

_ On another note, I want to invite you to the official Auror Trainee Graduation Ceremony on the 29 _ _ th _ _ of August. It’s really just an excuse to party, drink and dance but I thought that might be a great way for you to re-join the team. _

_ I’ll be happy to have you back, Scorpius. _

_ Harry _

_ P.S.: Of course, you can bring your boyfriend. _

It wasn’t even ten minutes later that Ricardo came into the room, Kiwi perched over his left arm, asking about the letter that by now Scorpius had read at least 40 times. His mind was racing, with excitement that his transfer had been approved, happiness that Harry had sent him a personal letter instead of an official document but also frustration because the lie about the nature of his relationship to Ricardo had kept on for far too long and even made its way to Harry.

On an even worse note, Scorpius thought, maybe that lie was the only reason Harry had written him in the first place, thinking now that Scorpius had been in a relationship with someone else for so long he wasn’t a threat to him anymore. Maybe Harry thought now they could go back to their father-son relationship with no weird tension or Scorpius’ inappropriate feelings between them.

But Scorpius didn’t want that.

Nevertheless, if Scorpius’ suspicion was right, the only way for him to return home _ and _ have any kind of relationship with Harry, was him having to reassure Harry that he really was over him. And the best way to do that was by pretending to be in a happy relationship with someone else.

But for that plan to work, _ the boyfriend _ had to play along.

With a nervous smile, he looked up at Ricardo.

◊ ◊ ◊

“I can’t believe this,” Ricardo whispered in a whiny voice, pulling at the dicky-bow that Scorpius had made him wear, “I didn’t go to all the trouble of transitioning just so I would still end up having to pretend to be dating a white boy!” He slapped Scorpius’ hand away after he had reached out to help Ricardo with his dicky-bow. He pointed up at Scorpius’ nose. “You owe me big time, I hope you know that!”

“Of course,” Scorpius said and leaned forward so Ricardo’s fingertip touched his nose, “Boop!”

Pulling away, Ricardo pouted, “Don’t try to be cute! I’m not happy about you making me do this.”

Sighing, he hugged his friend from the side, putting his forehead on his shoulder. “I’m really sorry, ok? But I don’t have anybody else I could ask and Albus already thinks we are dating so-“

“I get it, I get it. Just don’t kiss me or anything.” Finally giving in, he patted Scorpius on the head a few times before he grinned at him from the side and said, “And if a cute girl flirts with me, you gotta help me pull her.”

“You can’t pull when you are supposed to be dating me!” Scorpius whined, “At least wait until Harry is gone for that, ‘right? I’m sure he won’t stay after 10.”

“Why?” Ricardo asked looking amused, “He’s too old to stay up longer? Grandpa goes to sleep early?” Snickering he turned towards the mirror again and finally got his bow-tie straightened. “Do I look like I would suck a cock? Wait!” He held up his hand and then he swished his wand to make his usually curly hair look all sleek and shiny, “Better. Now I look like a proper gay boy, right?”

“Ha Ha,” Scorpius said with a fake smile. He checked his watch, patted the snake necklace that was dangling hidden under his robes for reassurance and then reached out his hand that Ricardo took but not without sighing loudly and rolling his eyes.

Together they flooed to the Ministry.

◊ ◊ ◊

They were walking through the hall that was crowded with people, a lot of eyes on them, when Ricardo whispered, “I haven’t been this uncomfortable in a long time,” from next to him. However, he didn’t let go of his hand and they made their way through the crowd of mostly familiar faces until they reached their designated seats at a long table at the end of the hall. Even after sitting down, Scorpius could feel people eyeing him. At first, he was wondering whether it was because he had walked in hand in hand with another man, but then suddenly he heard a loud squeal from behind him and Patricia run up to him. Clearly excited to see him again, she pointed at his face and shouted, “Is that you, Scorpius? Oh my god!”

“It’s me~” Scorpius sang, awkwardly pulling his shoulders up and stretching his arms out.

“You look so grown up!” Patricia said smiling brightly and then she looked at Ricardo who was eyeing her very inappropriately, “Is this your boyfriend?”

“Right,” Scorpius murmured, putting his arm around his friend who tensed immediately. “This is Ricardo. We were trainee partners at the Bureau des Aurors.”

“Ricardo Chapel. Happy to make your acquaintance,” he held out his hand and Patricia shook it, introducing herself. At that moment, Paul and Jill walked past them, hand in hand, nodding at Scorpius and then disappearing again.

“So, those two found each other,” he said more to himself than to anybody else but Patricia pulled her face into a sneer.

“Yeah, saving the world from anyone else having to date them.” That broke the ice between them and they grinned and then chit-chatted a bit more until the seats in the hall had almost all filled up and it was time for the event to start. “I’ll find my seat. Talk to you later?” Patricia winked at the two of them and then disappeared.

The moment she was out of earshot, Ricardo elbowed him in the side and demanded, “Help me make her my girlfriend!” but before Scorpius could tell him that there was no way he would ever set a pervert like him up with a lady like Patricia the lights dimmed and someone started announcing the official start of the graduation ceremony.

◊ ◊ ◊

The moment Harry Potter stepped on to the stage, Scorpius grasped Ricardo’s hand so tight, the man next to him made a squeaking sound.

Harry in-the-flesh looked… even better than on any of the photographs of him in the papers. His hair was cut shorter than it had been in many years, with the sides still shaved in a buzz and the top longer and messily brushed to one side, not long enough to pull back into a bun anymore. He had seven-day stubble and a pair of black wiry glasses in combination with a black pair of robes with silver buttons and accents that made his eyes pop even from the distance. His scar sat, dark and prominent, on his forehead and Harry looked dangerous. Dangerous and _ delicious _.

“Huh, so that’s Harry Potter,” Ricardo spoke from beside him and Scorpius could only nod in response because his mouth was busy producing enough salvia to drown a small village. “Well,” he heard Ricardo swallow and then pull his hand out of Scorpius’, “he really doesn’t look like an old man.”

“No shit, Sherlock.” The corners of Scorpius’ lips pulled up into a small smile, front teeth still bit into his bottom lip as he watched Harry make a speech while putting on his professional boy-who-lived smile for the few members of the press that had been invited to the event.

“Finally, I would like all trainees to join me on the stage so they can receive their Auror’s badges,” Harry read out loud at the end of his speech, passing the scroll he’d been holding to another Ministry employee who was standing beside him on the stage and abruptly started reading out names. Harry stood in the middle of the stage and with a smile, fastened the batches on his former students’ chests who were walking up to him one by one, most of them with an excited expression on their faces.

Scorpius watched in awe as one after the other went on and off stage. Him and Ricardo had gone through a similar process just two days ago at the Ministère and sure, it had been an honour to get recognition by their peers and trainers, but as Scorpius watched this ceremony, he couldn’t help but wish that he could walk up to Harry like that, have him smile at him and put the badge on him. It would mean so much more to him than their graduation in Paris had.

And then the man called out “Scorpius Malfoy!” and Ricardo let out a surprised sound.

He had no idea what was going on but he didn’t even hesitate. Scorpius stood up, heart beating like crazy, and pretended that he had expected this as he climbed the few steps up onto the stage and walked up to Harry.

Stopping right in front of him, Scorpius held his breath as he watched Harry stand there, one corner of his lips pulled up into the proudest smile he had ever seen on the man.

Scorpius could barely stop himself from crying tears of relief.

“I thought we should do this the official way,” Harry said and then he stepped closer to Scorpius and his hand came up to Scorpius’ chest. He wasn’t wearing the right apparel for the occasion but Harry managed anyway, sticking the badge to the slit that held his pocket square.

Scorpius watched Harry’s finger pull away from his chest and then both of his hands settled on his shoulders.

He was leaning forward and looking right into Scorpius’ eyes, still that half-grin on his face and if Scorpius didn’t know better he would have sworn the other man's eyes were also glimmering with a hint of relief. Finally, he whispered so that only Scorpius could hear it, “Welcome back, Scorp.”

◊ ◊ ◊

The next few hours of the ministry celebration passed in a wink and as the music got louder, and the people got drunker, more and more of the older attendees of the party said their goodbyes. By 11AM they were pretty much down to less than 30 people in the huge celebratory hall and most of them had come together to dance on the dance floor or linger by the buffet with a drink. One of those people was Harry, who was chatting with Jill and Paul, a cocktail in hand and a big smile on his face.

Scorpius watched him from the other side of the dance floor while he occasionally poked Ricardo in the side to remind him not to hump girls while Harry was still here and keep up the pretence of their romantic relationship.

Scorpius was about to get himself another drink when suddenly someone shouted “Scorpiuuuus!” and he was slapped very hard on the back between his shoulder blades, making him cough.

“Teddy!” He immediately said as soon as he had gotten his voice back.

“So happy to have you back. I’m sure you’ve already heard who your Auror partner will be,”, Teddy said with a wide grin, hands on his hips. “Excited?”

“My partner?” Scorpius asked and he couldn’t believe that he hadn’t thought about it yet. He had just assumed that it would be a random older Auror in the office because they usually paired new Aurors up with older, more experienced ones. And then Scorpius grinned back at Teddy who had that trademark mischievous spark in his eyes, “It’s you, isn’t it?”

His laughter was as loud as ever, making people look at them from the dance floor, “No man, I’m stuck with that wanker,” he pointed over at Paul and rolled his eyes. “You, my friend, are obviously paired with Harry!” he said it like he expected Scorpius to be happy about the news. But instead of feeling excitement all Scorpius could do as a response to that revelation was swallow and then stare, open-mouthed.

After everything that had happened between them, why would Harry pair himself up with Scorpius?

“Are you really that surprised?” Teddy asked amused, “He wants to keep an eye on you. Did the same with me,” he shrugged his shoulders and then he twirled on the spot and his hair changed from deep blue to sparkly green. “Can you believe that I’m finally getting my own small newbie to terrorize?” His eyes were twinkling dangerously, “It’s gonna be bloody _ great _!”

The news hit Scorpius hard. Working at the same office as Harry was one thing. Being his partner, which basically meant that they’d work on every case together, was a wholly different subject. How would Scorpius be able to keep up the lie about being in a loving relationship with Ricardo and hide his romantic feelings for Harry if they were to spend that much time together? It was a well-known fact that Auror partners grew to be very close. Sometimes people even joked that they were closer to their work-partner than their spouse because of the huge amount of time they spent together. Aurors often worked overtime, irregular hours and had to do stake-outs together and go on trips for their different missions. One time over Christmas hols, Teddy had told everybody how he and Harry had had to sleep naked, cuddled up in a tent together to keep each other warm because they’d been trapped in a gigantic magical snow globe where magic and thus heating charms hadn’t worked. He’d gone on and on about how Harry’s “huge horse dick”—a quote!—had kept rubbing up against him and Scorpius remembered having thought at 17, at the dinner table, how he wished it could have been him in the tent with Harry. But now that there was a chance of that wish turning into reality, Scorpius couldn’t imagine being able to bear it. He couldn’t be trapped in a tiny space with Harry’s horse dick and _ not _ suck on it.

Oh my god, how was Scorpius going to suck Harry’s dick while still convincing him that he wasn’t in fact in love with him?

“Look, he’s gone all white,” he heard Teddy say and point at his face before Ricardo appeared in his field of vision with a questioning look. As if he could read his mind, he held out a snack for him and said, “Maybe he has low blood sugar. Cracker?”

Going suddenly impossibly red and a little hard at the image of himself on his knees in front of Harry, he cried, “Excuse me, I need to use the loo.”

Before Scorpius left, he saw Teddy turn towards Ricardo and shake his hand in greeting but then Scorpius was gone, practically storming off towards the man’s loos and quickly barricading himself in one of the stalls.

“Calm down, Scorpius. Surely, Harry will not whip out his cock. He didn’t do it the last time you expected him to and he won’t do it during a mission,” he tried to convince himself in a quiet mumble while his brain was coming up with all kinds of fucked-up scenarios that would lead to Harry having to undress. However, Scorpius having a very vivid imagination did not contribute to the task at hand which was _ calming him down_!

He scrambled out of the stall, splashing some cold water on his face and then stared at his reflection in the mirror.

Even _ if _ Harry were to undress in front of him, Scorpius was a grown man! He wasn’t a 16-year-old anymore, who came to the sound of Harry peeing. No, now he could completely control his libido.

“I’m a big boy,” he nodded at himself, gave his cheeks a few more claps and then forced himself to re-join the party.

When he made it back to the dance floor, though, Teddy and Ricardo were not where they used to stand. Looking around for them, Scorpius quickly caught sight of them by the side of-

“Ricardo!” he gasped and practically run-up to his friend who seemed to be in deep conversation with Harry. Teddy, who was standing next to them, looked like he was holding back laughter.

“Yes, that too!”, Ricardo said nodding and seemed in deep thought when he continued to say, “But I’m really glad we can use magic for that, you know, otherwise the cleaning up would be messy. You have to go really deep inside that tiny hole with your fingers to get all the shit out, otherwise, when you push inside, it might get stuck to your-”

“_What _ are you talking about?” Scorpius interrupted in a nervous, hysterical laugh, seeing the horrified expression on Harry’s face as he looked down at Ricardo.

“Oh, just about how much easier life is as a wizard.” Ricardo grinned at him and Scorpius was furious, clenching his fists by his sides and trying so hard not to headbutt Ricardo in the nose. “I think it’s my turn to use the loo now,” his friend said loud and proud, patting Scorpius on the shoulder and then disappearing before Scorpius could do anything to him that would cause his sure and painful death.

Teddy was still biting back his laughter, and Harry had an expression on his face that reminded Scorpius of his father whenever the conversation went into a direction that involved muggle technology he didn’t understand.

_ Please tell me _ Scorpius thought, no, prayed _ that he wasn’t talking about what I think he was talking about? _

Harry, whose face had turned into a thoughtful expression, suddenly said, “He is right, though,” which horrified Scorpius to no end until he continued and clarified, “It must take muggles forever to get gum out of keyholes. Muggle kids really have the meanest pranks.”

“Oh!”, Scorpius breathed out in relief at Harry’s complete obliviousness to what Ricardo had obviously really been talking about, “Oh thank god.”

Finally, Teddy put a hand on Scorpius’ shoulder, leaning forward to whisper into his ear, “Good god, I love him. Never let him go!” and then he walked away, letting out a burst of giggles.

If he’d been left alone with any other person, Scorpius would have excused himself to go follow Ricardo and slap him around until he apologized and promised to never do it again, but with Harry standing in front of him and looking up at him with a frown, Scorpius forgot his friend faster than anybody could say Wingardium Leviosa.

“You’re even taller now,” Harry finally said after watching Scorpius for a few quiet seconds and then smiled a little, “And you look,” he paused, his eyes fixed on Scorpius’ short buzzcut and his facial features that had turned all sharp and edgy instead of staying soft and pointy like his dad still looked even in his 50s, “like you’ve changed a lot since we last talked.”

Scorpius rubbed his neck when he said in nervous laughter, “Don’t worry, Harry. I’m still the same weird Scorpius you used to know,” and then he made a quiet screaming sound that made Harry’s smile broaden into a toothy grin.

“I can’t believe we haven’t talked in almost six years, Scorp.” And he said it like it hadn’t been his decision to end their relationship all those years ago.

Scorpius didn’t know what to say to that. It was true that they hadn’t talked, but it wasn’t because Scorpius hadn’t wanted to. It had obviously been Scorpius' decision to leave the country but that hadn't meant that he wouldn't have liked to hear from Harry every now and then. He had at least expected them to write or Floo on their birthdays. But instead Harry had pretended that Scorpius didn't exist.

Before Scorpius could get sad or angry at that thought, he forced a smile on his lips.

“I guess we have a lot to catch up on then. Seeing that you made me your partner, we’ll have more than enough time to do that.”

“That’s true,” Harry looked down now, biting his lip. Scorpius knew that expression. There was something he wanted to say but didn’t know how to, was working up to. “Actually, Scorp, there is something I’ve been wanting to tell you since,“ a long intake of breath stopped him, “our fight.”

Scorpius wouldn’t call it a fight. In recent years he had come to refer to that moment between them as _ the incident _.

“I wanted to apologize,” Harry finally said and now he was looking at Scorpius again, “for overreacting. For making an erumpent out of a pygmy puff. For letting you go to France when I should have been the adult and insisted on us talking it out instead of letting it come to,“ again, he stopped, “this!” and then covered his face with both hands, squeezing his eyes shut.

For a second Scorpius thought that maybe he was pushing back tears, and he couldn’t believe this reaction, right now, in front of so many people at an official ministry event, but then Harry let his hand fall down and he was smiling, painfully, when he said, “I’m terrible at this. What I really want to say is-” but he didn’t say it. He just stared at Scorpius with intense eyes, probably wanting him to get it from just his gaze alone. And Scorpius did get it because they knew each other well enough for that, despite not having spoken for 6 years.

“What you really wanted to say is,” Scorpius said in a breath and stepped forward to make sure that no one else who was twirling around on the dance floor could overhear, “that you missed me. And Harry, I missed you, too.”

And then Harry pulled Scorpius into the fiercest and most crushing hug he had ever experienced. It should have been uncomfortable, with Harry breathing down his neck and his arms locking behind his back and practically pressing him as if he was deliberately trying to cut off his oxygen. But instead, it felt long overdue. The urgency of the hug was exactly how Scorpius had felt every second every day of those six years that they had been apart. It was too much, too hard and taking his bloody breath away.

Time seemed to be standing still as Scorpius felt Harry’s warmth against him and breathed in his scent that hadn’t changed a bit since that glorious night they had held each other and fell asleep together. Just this time there was a hint of perfume in the mix that almost made him smell more delicious. He felt Harry’s woollen-clad thighs press against his and his hard chest muscles against his upper abdomen, practically his whole body in line with Scorpius.

As stupid as it sounded, for the first time in forever, Scorpius felt like he was actually close to another person. Forget one-night stands. This hug was so much more intimate than anything he had ever done with a stranger and god, he didn’t want it to end.

And just then Ricardo’s voice sounded, “Excuse me!”

A hand pulled Harry’s arms from around Scorpius hips and the two of them stumbled away from each other, a little dizzy and confused before their eyes set on the small devil in human disguise next to them who was quickly squeezing himself between them. “As much as I like you, Harry, sadly, I am a jealous man and I do not appreciate your stubby fingers on my beautiful Honey Boo Boo. So, would you please-” he pointed at Harry’s chest with one of his own stubby fingers and Harry tripped back a few steps, “Yes, that’s better. Wonderful. Now if you would excuse us Harry, Scorpius and I have hot plans for the night.” He winked at Harry who was dumbstruck at what had just happened and then grasped Scorpius by the arm and pulled him through the dance floor and towards the buffet where he finally let go of him and smiled.

“You’re welcome.”

Still flabbergasted at how horrible Ricardo was acting in the role of his pretend boyfriend, Scorpius whispered, “_ I am going to strangle you _.”

Ricardo’s eyebrows shot up. “Why? I was just helping you out. It must have been super uncomfortable pressing up to someone you want to hump and not being able to.”

“Good god, Ricardo, not everything is about humping people! I haven’t seen Harry in six years and we were just-”

“So, you are telling me you don’t want to hump Harry?” He interrupted with a frown.

“That’s. That’s not what I’m saying. That’s not the point of this at all. In that situ-“

“So, you want to hump him?”

“Ricardo, this was not that kind of-“

“Yes or No. It’s a simple question, really.” And he continued with a clap to every following word, “Do.You.Want.To.Hump.Harry.Potter.Or.Not?”

“Merlin’s beard, yes, Ricardo! I want to hump him!”

Suddenly Ricardo turned away and Scorpius followed his eyes just to find the horrifying sight of Patricia biting her lip in a grimace to which Ricardo said in a delighted voice, “I told you we were just pretending. Now, how about we go back to your room and I show you the time of your life, baby?”

Patricia nodded, to Scorpius’ absolute horror. She let him pull her away and Scorpius was asking himself how the hell Ricardo had pulled her in the last few minutes while he had been talking to Harry.

Fuming, blushing and shaking, Scorpius was left alone in front of the buffet and shoved as many crackers into his mouth as would fit, just so he couldn’t shout out his plans to slowly and surely kill Ricardo the next time he saw him.

As he watched the giggling pair disappear out of his sight, Scorpius’ eyes searched for Harry again. He needed to apologize for his “boyfriend’s” awful behaviour. But the man had already left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading.  
Kudos and comments make my day :)


	7. Chapter 7

On September 1st, Scorpius started working at the Ministry of Magic again. His first day as Harry’s partner should have probably been overwhelming but for some reason, it didn’t feel new or scary at all. Instead, Scorpius felt like he finally knew what he’d done six years of training for. Their department hadn’t changed a bit since his departure six years ago and when he re-entered it first thing in the morning, he was greeted by the same people that had greeted him years ago—with the addition of a few new trainee faces, though, he had already seen many of them at the party two days ago.

Harry showed him his desk which was Teddy’s old space in the corner of Harry’s private Head Auror office but still separated by a wall from where Harry sat. In that way, being Harry’s partner came with a bit of a benefit. Nobody else had their own office. However, Scorpius didn’t spend much time at his desk over the next few days as Harry had planned an intense schedule to make sure Scorpius caught up with all of his—now _ their _ —current cases, which were, to say the least, _ many _. Scorpius should have known that another downside of being paired up with Harry—besides the constant threat to his libido, of course—would be the work-load. Harry was a workaholic, had always been. Maybe a little less during the time his children had been too young for Hogwarts.

Apart from studying cases, Patricia made sure to catch Scorpius up on all the office gossip. One of the first things she told him was everybody’s dating status. Including Harry’s. Scorpius was not surprised to hear that the man didn’t really have a private life apart from well… working overtime.

“Since his divorce, he hasn’t been in a single serious relationship,” Patricia told him over lunch two weeks into the job after asking him question after question about his feelings for Harry and how he was planning to seduce him.

“I’m not,” Scorpius had told her which had caused Patricia to look at him like he was the biggest idiot she knew, followed by a shrug of her shoulders before she asked him questions about Ricardo.

Speaking of which; she and Ricardo had apparently really hit it off on the night of the graduation party and had since become somewhat of a couple. At first, Scorpius feared their relationship would be a problem because Albus and Harry, and now the whole department, still thought Scorpius was dating him. However, Patricia had agreed to play along with their little charade for the time being. Thankfully.

“But don’t kiss him or anything", she threatened Scorpius over lunch that one time.

With a troubled smile, Scorpius thought,_ Those two really found each other _, before Patricia continued to tell him about Harry’s lack of dates over the past six years.

◊ ◊ ◊

Needless to say, Scorpius moved back into his Diagon Alley flat. At first, Scorpius considered looking for a new roommate so he wouldn’t be so lonely, since Albus had moved in with Caroline years ago. But then Scorpius figured it wasn’t like he spent much time at his home anyway because he worked overtime a lot, together with Harry.

Most days they even went to dinner together, often at a random fast food place somewhere in Soho.

“Are you sure Ricardo won’t mind?” Harry asked him one day after Scorpius had just ordered them both the Pho Tai from their favourite Vietnamese restaurant in China Town.

“Mind what?” Scorpius asked confused as if he had missed part of a conversation they hadn’t even been having. They’d walked up to the shop in silence, both so tired from working at least 4h overtime every day for the past two weeks because of that one Gringotts case they just couldn’t solve.

“That you spend all of your free time with me,” Harry said and Scorpius looked down at the rolls of parchment between them with a frown.

“I wouldn’t really call this free time.”

Harry laughed and yawned at the same time. It should have looked really stupid but somehow everything Harry did nowadays made Scorpius just love him a little more. Scorpius was just so happy to witness anything Harry did after having been deprived of that experience for the past few years.

“You’re right,” Harry moaned. He was clearly annoyed at Scorpius’ observation. “We’ve been working together almost every day for months now and I still feel like we haven’t been able to catch up at all. It’s just been work.”

“Well...” Scorpius wanted to deny it, but Harry was right. They’d been spending almost every waking minute together, and it had all been very impersonal. Almost everything new that Scorpius had learned about Harry that was not work-related—for example, that he’d broken his wrist two years ago and it wouldn’t heal completely. Or that Harry had a two-hour work-out routine three days a week he somehow managed to squeeze somewhere into his schedule—he’d found out from Patricia, Teddy or some other gossip in the department. Harry himself had talked little about himself at all, although he found the time to ask the occasional question about Ricardo. “We could, you know, take our food to go and, I don’t know, eat it at my place over an episode of Dexter.”

Harry pulled up a brow at Scorpius’ suggestion and it made Scorpius fear that maybe he’d be rejected. However, his frown quickly turned into a small smile.

“A crime show? Please no, I’ve got enough crime in my life already.” Harry let the parchment drop back into the deep pockets of his Auror robes he had transfigured into a long dark coat. “How about _ Merlin _ ? We never watched much of that,” he offered, making Scorpius almost choke on his own spit at Harry’s mention of the last thing they’d watched together before _ the incident _.

“Sure,” he approved, uncertain if that would be the right choice, afraid it would make the atmosphere awkward. Still, he motioned for the waiter to prepare their food to takeaway.

◊ ◊ ◊

It took them way too little time to go through two seasons of _ Merlin _ with all the cases they should have been working on instead. But really, whenever they made it to Scorpius’ flat, letting themselves plop onto his sofa, they just couldn’t stay focused on work for longer than an hour, tops.

To be honest, Scorpius wasn’t able to concentrate on _ anything _ , including _ Merlin _ , with Harry sitting right where he had sat that one unfortunate evening after which everything had gone downhill for them. Scorpius feared a repeat of _ the incident _. However, he was confident that he cared way too much about the intimate relationship they had rebuilt to actually risk it by coming on to him.

It hadn’t even taken them a month to go back to the way they’d been. It was great, Scorpius could be his dorky self, Harry laughed about it and the two of them spoke truthfully to each other about their problems and worries. Well, expect about how Scorpius was head over heels in love with Harry and lying to him every day by pretending to be dating the buffoon Ricardo.

“I have to be honest with you, Scorp,” Harry said one day while they were watching TV and he had his socked feet propped up on Scorpius’ coffee table. “I’m surprised you’re dating someone like Ricardo. I’ve always thought you’d be interested in men like—“ he stopped, thinking, and Scorpius was curious what he was about to say.

A thing Scorpius had noticed about Harry was that he kept trying to lead the conversation towards Ricardo and then towards _ the incident _ . Scorpius wondered why. They’d never really discussed their fight in much detail and now generally pretended that nothing had ever happened between them. But somehow Harry kept mentioning it, again and again, as if to remind Scorpius that _ hey, remember how you used to love me? Yeah, me too. _

Despite everything, Scorpius was sure that Harry wasn’t aware of what he was doing. Why? Because the man was oblivious when it came to people’s emotions. How someone like that solved the most complicated cases was still a mystery to him.

Whatever, it was not like Scorpius was ever going to confront him about it because that would mean having to talk about his feelings for him which Harry probably still thought of as just a “crush”. And honestly, if Scorpius heard him refer to his feelings as a crush one more time, he might end up clogging the man on the head with the remote control.

“Like what?” Scorpius asked after Harry’s brain seemed to have stopped working.

“Well, to be honest, for a while we all thought you and Albus were dating.”

“So did my dad,” he chuckled, “but there was never anything between us. I like my men mature.” There was a risk of admitting that but Harry looked nonchalant.

“Mature,” he repeated and took another spoon full of pasta. “I wouldn’t call Ricardo mature.”

“You don’t like him?” There was a spark of hope in Scorpius that maybe Harry was jealous, though, that wouldn’t make much sense. He was probably just trying to have a polite conversation while showing an interest in his friend.

“No, that’s not it,” Harry’s grin was wide when he turned to Scorpius. “I’ve only really met him twice, but he left quite an impression. He’s really… interesting.”

“That’s a good way to put it.” They both chuckled, though for a second there, Scorpius wondered when Harry had met Ricardo for the second time. Scorpius had only ever brought him along once as far as he remembered. But before he could ask, Harry finished his food and then put the plate down on the table.

“But isn’t it hard, having a long-distance relationship? I mean, I know how little time the two of you must have to see each other. Long-distance dating between two Aurors is impossible if you ask me.”

A beat. Scorpius hands clenched around his mug, and he forced a smile when he asked, “Why, are you dating one right now?”

“Oh,” Harry startled that the conversation could have somehow turned towards his dating life, “No. Well, not anymore. Never, really.”

Scorpius knew that if he didn’t ask, Harry wouldn’t tell him more, but there was that voice in Scorpius’ head that told him that he needed to find out everything, especially since he’d thought that Harry hadn’t dated anybody since Ginny.

“Did you try?”

Harry sighed and then leaned back but he didn’t seem annoyed or angry at the question, rather he seemed a little amused. “Right after Ginny there was this Dutch Auror who I’d kind of started dating?” it sounded more like a question than a statement. “Well, we went on four dates over the course of six months that all started and ended at a restaurant and for a little while I called her my girlfriend but after two months of not seeing each other, I called it off.”

A weight fell from Scorpius’ shoulders even though it had been that long ago. “How romantic,” he said in a long sarcastic drawl and got himself elbowed in the side.

“If you’re so romantic, why don’t you tell me how you and Ricardo got together?”

_ Oh! _ Scorpius pretended to be reminiscing about the moment with a smile on his face when in reality he was trying very hard to come up with something on the spot. “We went on a date as friends on Valentine’s day because we were both single and didn’t want to spend it alone. We ended up having a really good time and started going out more often after that.”

“Hm,” Harry said and then, “Well, that’s a cute story.”

Scorpius smiled and shrugged his shoulders, hoping that they were done with the subject because he really hated lying to Harry. 

Unfortunately, Harry continued, “But when _ was _ the last time you saw him? If you need me to give you more time off, just say the word and I—”

“No no, we’re fine, really,” Scorpius blurted before Harry could get any more stupid ideas that would end up meaning that the two of them would spend less time together, “we Floo-call a lot and I saw him two weeks ago when I took a portkey to France for a day trip,” which was even true! “I do get a little lonely from time to time but hey, I’ve got you, don’t I?” Scorpius sang as a joke but Harry’s smile to that seemed so genuine that Scorpius added, “Really.”

“Yea,” Harry replied quietly and there were a few seconds of silence between them before Harry turned towards him on the sofa and grinned mischievously at him. “Ok, don’t tell Ricardo about this.” And then he pulled Scorpius against his side to put his arm around his back on the sofa.

They were sitting together like they’d used to during hols from Hogwarts and it made Scorpius tingle all over even though their position was really innocent and only their sides were slightly touching.

“I’m less lonely because I have you, too,” Harry said and then he stroked behind Scorpius’ ear, that place that he hadn’t touched in years, and Scorpius melted into it while fighting the urge to make a small whiny sound in the back of his throat.

Harry's hand stayed there for the rest of the night, swiping his fingers over Scorpius’ dragon tattoo every so often. From the corner of his eyes, Scorpius saw Harry glancing over at him whenever he touched him which both confused and excited him.

It was true that Scorpius had decided not to do anything about his feelings again because the one time he had tried it had ended really badly for him. But if Harry were to do something, Scorpius would not stop him.

So even though it was unlikely and maybe keeping his hopes up like this would hurt Scorpius more in the long run than do him good right now, he didn’t move away from Harry’s touch and continued to enjoy his fingers on his skin.

◊ ◊ ◊

Scorpius’ self-control took a turn for the worse one fateful night when Harry slept over at his place. They’d worked on case reports deep into the night. It wasn’t even four hours until they’d have to floo over to work again and Harry had said that he couldn’t be bothered to return home. So, he’d invited himself to crash on Scorpius’ sofa which at first Scorpius had thought was a reasonable request and would surely turn out to be just fine. But then, in the morning, he’d gone to wake Harry up just to find the man sleeping completely butt-naked and uncovered. Apparently, Harry had a habit of taking most of his clothes off during the night—and Scorpius could have really used a warning about that!

After Scorpius had found him, bum in the air, face-down in the cushions, he’d started to fantasize about having sex with Harry as much as he had during his most horny times as a teenager. He could still remember the sticky sheets and the uncontrollable hard-ons that had plagued him during his adolescence and just like then Scorpius kept dreaming about doing all kinds of dirty things to Harry’s naked body. Whenever he saw the man stretch, touch a hand to his neck to comb back his hair with his fingers, Scorpius couldn’t help his mind going places it definitely shouldn’t be going.

And the way Harry _ ate!!!_ The man had the nerve to bring a banana into the office and spend twenty minutes holding the length of it against his lips while taking tiny bites of it during a presentation by one of the trainee Aurors. If it hadn’t been Harry, Scorpius would have bet the whole Malfoy fortune that nobody nibbled on a banana all sexy like that without knowing exactly what he was doing. But seeing that it _ was _ Harry, he was probably completely oblivious to what he looked like.

Surely, if Harry were to seduce someone, he’d just walk up to his victim, rip off their clothes and ravish them by banging them against the wall, biting and licking at Scorpius’ neck with every thrust and then coming deep inside of him.

_ Yes_, Scorpius had a big problem, and it was currently standing up straight in his pants. But also, it was the fact that he couldn’t stop imagining having sex with his boss.

He sighed and looked away from Harry to see the trainee had stopped talking at the sound and was looking at Scorpius with a worried expression, probably having taken his sigh as a sign that he was doing a bad job when really, Scorpius had just been thinking about Harry fucking him in the bum.

He gestured, “Sorry,” to the boy, and he continued his presentation with shaking hands. Scorpius felt a little guilty.

When he turned his head towards Harry who had finally finished his banana—thank Merlin!—he was looking back at him with a bemused expression on his face before he pointed towards his own crotch.

A little panicked, Scorpius looked down at himself. Was his boner visible from over there? But then he saw a small folded paper crane tapping at his thigh. Scorpius eyed it suspiciously, unfolded it under the table just to see Harry’s horrible scribble.

**What are you thinking about?**

_ Oh fuck, _ Scorpius thought and looked back at Harry who was staring towards the trainee now and nodding to agree with something he had said but Scorpius honestly couldn’t care less about that right now. Had it been so obvious that he’d been thinking something sexual?

He considered for a moment to just ignore the message but then Harry kept looking back at him so Scorpius thought of the first best thing to say and just wrote

**Just how boring this is**

Harry read his message and showed no reaction to it before he sent back his reply.

**Ha! He is doing much better than you did. You were so booooring!**

**Well** _ , _ Scorpius wrote back in a haste and smiled when he saw Harry grin at his message **at least I kept you interested enough to not write notes with someone during my presentation**

**Only because everybody else had fallen asleep so there was nobody to write notes with!**

**Oh, don’t lie, Harry. You just couldn’t take your eyes off of me**

Scorpius swallowed hard when he read Harry’s reply to that: **It’s not my fault you looked so cute back then**

**Not anymore?** He wrote back, unsure whether he wasn’t being a bit too brazen but when Harry’s reply read, **Even more so now,** Scorpius couldn’t help but stare at the words in absolute confusion and excitement.

Were they… flirting? Was Harry Potter actually flirting with him?

Scorpius only dared to look back up at Harry after his heart had calmed down a little in his chest and he was sure that he wouldn’t look at him like a lovestruck hopeful idiot. But Harry was just staring at the trainee again, making the face he always made whenever he was hearing something he liked.

No, this was probably just Harry being Harry. Harry thinking of Scorpius as one of his cute kids, no matter how old he was or how much Scorpius wanted it to be flirting. Harry had never and would never see him that way.

Scorpius didn’t reply to that note, and he felt Harry look over at him from time to time, pulling up an eyebrow at Scorpius’ silence. But Scorpius couldn’t trust himself not to continue their little game and as a result get his hopes up just so he would end up extremely disappointed. He couldn’t do this to himself. He had been over this.

But then _ why _ was his stupid heart beating so fast in his chest?

When the presentation was over, Scorpius was the first to leave the room. It was Thursday, which meant that he and Harry usually went to eat hot dogs for lunch but Scorpius decided that he couldn’t sit across Harry and watch him put any more dick-shaped foods into his mouth. So, he found an excuse and went to eat a boring salad with Patricia, anything being better than freaking out about Harry right now.

When he got home that day, he wanked furiously over the image of Harry and his stupid banana and then he let himself fall onto his bed, fist closed tightly around his necklace as he tried to make the feeling of Harry’s magic suck some sadness out of him. It didn’t work. With his pants still pulled to his knees and his stomach sticky with semen, Scorpius started crying over Harry Potter. Something he hadn’t let himself do in years.

◊ ◊ ◊

Over the course of the next few months as Harry’s partner, Scorpius started to ask himself one question:

How could that man be so oblivious to his feelings?

Alright, there was the tiny fact that Harry thought Scorpius was in a relationship with another man so it should be pretty unlikely for Scorpius to be in love with him. But apart from that… didn’t Scorpius’ behaviour make it obvious that he had romantic feelings for him? Patricia thought so and she should know seeing as she saw the two of them interact almost every day. She’d pointed out that Scorpius was always staring at Harry or would suddenly tense up when Harry touched him. Apparently, Scorpius also used every opportunity to get his hands on Harry or just get as close to him as possible. He spent every free minute of his time with him, work, lunch, work, dinner, parts of the night! Scorpius had even stopped coming up with lies about meeting up with Ricardo.

But Harry just wouldn’t notice!

He just kept being kind and affectionate towards Scorpius. He kept dragging him off to lunch every day, kept paying for his food, kept buying him dessert because _ Scorp, you look so cute when you’re eating sweets _. He kept making comments like that, causing Scorpius to fall in love with him even more and hope that maybe Harry was falling for him too. And then, only seconds later, Harry would ask about Ricardo and suddenly remind Scorpius that they were nothing but friends after all and would never be more.

And then, on Scorpius’ 25th birthday, Harry came up to him with the biggest grin on his face and shouted, “Happy birthday, kiddo!” and pressed a big wet kiss directly on his mouth.

Scorpius felt like he would explode. From shock, excitement, frustration, anger, longing!

When Harry pulled away, there was an awkward pause in which he seemed to realise that he’d gone overboard. His wonderful green eyes were staring at Scorpius who was trying very hard not to touch his lips because they burned like fire.

That was definitely not how Scorpius had imagined their first kiss to happen. Not with Harry looking like he’d made a big mistake just after and Scorpius trying to hold back the tears of having this moment that should have been wonderful completely ruined.

They stared at each other for a few more seconds before Scorpius couldn’t take it anymore and excused himself to the toilet. Patricia, having witnessed the kiss, followed him and locked the door behind her.

For a while, she said nothing and just leaned against the door and watched Scorpius shiver and walk from one end of the loos to the other, his legs unable to stop still. He could tell that she was waiting for him to say something first and he could also tell that she was growing tired of watching Scorpius suffer from his unrequited feelings.

After what felt like an eternity, she finally gave in and spoke first.

“Tell me again why you’re not even trying to date him?” She asked and Scorpius halted immediately. He could see her watching his face in the mirror's reflection over the sink.

“Because he clarified that he doesn’t want to have that kind of relationship with me.” He had told her what had happened between them back then shortly after the graduation party.

“That was, what, 7 years ago?”

A pause.

“He still thinks of me as a kid,” Scorpius argued and even he could tell that he was just trying to make excuses because he was too damn scared that he was reading the signs wrong and Harry would reject him again.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am sure,” Scorpius lied, wishing that he was wrong, “He just called me _ kiddo _. Didn’t you hear him?”

“But did you see his face after he kissed you? I’m sure he doesn’t look at his children like that.”

“That doesn’t mean he has feelings for me.”

“Not necessarily, no, but—“

“Please stop! I don’t need this,” Scorpius stopped her in a shout and she went silent immediately. “Sorry,” he added and then sighed, looking at his friend as she shook her head and smiled sadly.

The thing was that Scorpius was _ really _ starting to feel that maybe he had a chance with Harry. After all, it wasn’t just Scorpius who used every opportunity to touch or get close to Harry. Quite the opposite, Harry was always initiating a certain proximity between them by wanting to spend time with him and being physical in a way that he wasn’t with anybody else. Just last week, Scorpius had been sick and stayed home for a few days and Harry had flooed over during his lunch break and then again right after work for three days straight to take care of Scorpius. Like it was the most natural thing in the world. He’d made him chicken soup from scratch, rubbed VapoRub on his chest—which under any other circumstance would have resulted in a major boner—and sat by his bedside, occasionally holding his hand before Scorpius drifted off into sleep.

But then Harry did things like calling him _ kiddo _ or asking him question after question about how everything was going with Ricardo and seeming genuinely happy to hear that they were still together. It was driving Scorpius insane, getting so many mixed signals but also not even being able to test the romantic waters with Harry, in fear of losing him again.

After the kiss, Scorpius avoided Harry throughout his own birthday party and suppressed any thoughts of him by drinking one cocktail after the other. It was his birthday, and he had every right to get pissed.

When his first guests were leaving and Scorpius was dancing in his living room, surrounded by friends and family, he felt, for the first time, like he didn’t have a worry in the world. Ricardo, Patricia, Albus and Caroline were twirling around him, spinning him, holding his hands and laughing with him. He almost felt like he was high as he swung his hips to the music, holding the cocktail up above his head and closed his eyes at the feeling of his friend’s bodies against his. As the music zoomed through his heart and the words_ “Nobody said it was easy” _ were repeatedly blasting through the speakers, Scorpius felt like nothing had ever been truer in his life.

Everything was so fucking hard to bear and even in moments like this, where he laughed and had fun with his friends, his heart still ached and he found himself opening his eyes to search for Harry.

And there he was, standing in the corner, talking to his father. Scorpius was still moving with Patricia when he noticed the two men looking at him as if they had sensed his watching eyes from the dancefloor. Suddenly, there was something in Harry’s gaze that Scorpius didn’t think he had seen before. Patricia’s arms around his neck and Albus’ shoulder against his back disappeared and Scorpius felt like him and Harry were the only people left in the world and Harry was staring at him with Scorpius returning it.

_ “Behind your eyes, don’t compromise, we’ll be just fine.” _

It all felt so surreal. Harry’s stare was so intense that Scorpius had stopped moving altogether. But then Draco nudged Harry in the side and the spell was broken. Looking back and forth between Harry and his father, he noticed that there was a lot of tension. Harry turned back to Scorpius and smiled, a short, troubled grin that didn’t reach his eyes. He pulled up his hand in a wave goodbye and then disappeared towards the Floo and was gone so fast, Scorpius hadn’t even been able to process that he had wanted to leave.

“What—“ Scorpius started and walked towards his dad who was sipping on his wine innocently and pretending that nothing unusual was going on. “What did you say to him?” Scorpius asked, and he knew that he was drawing out the words too long like he always did when he was drunk.

“I told him to leave,” his dad replied coldly.

“_What? _ ” Scorpius shouted and thankfully the music was too loud for the other guests to overhear him. “_Why would you do that?” _

Draco seemed a little angry now. He didn’t like being shouted at, Scorpius knew, but at that moment he couldn’t care less. This was _ his _ birthday, these were _ his _ guests and if anybody were to send away _ his _ Harry, it should have been himself.

“I see how he treats you, Scorpius, and I know you well enough to realise that it must be really hard on you but you are just _ too nice _ to tell him to fuck off,” he started in a sneer and Scorpius suddenly felt like he was twelve again and his dad was trying to teach him to be more of a leader, less of a follower. “You can never be with him, Scorpius, so stop letting him be a part of your life. More than he has to at least.” And with that he wished him a happy birthday one more time and left too, his words weighing heavy on Scorpius’ mind.

Fuming, Scorpius considered going after Harry and getting him back. But…

His dad was right. Harry wasn’t his boyfriend and he would never be. But he also wasn’t his dad, as much as Harry liked to see Scorpius as his son. He was just… his friend. And that’s all they would ever be. All they ever could be.

And then Scorpius realised something.

He would never get over Harry. The only thing he could do was get away from him. Even if that meant leaving his friends and leaving his dad. It was the only way he could ever live his life without that stabbing pain in his chest.

“I’m going back to France,” he decided, drunk, on his 25th birthday, alone in the corner of his living room while his friends and family were oblivious of the life-changing decision he had just made.**  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song mentioned: Great Good Fine OK - Easy  
Thanks so much for reading.  
Kudos and comments make my day :)


	8. Chapter 8

When all the guests had left, except for his best friends who were helping him clean up the flat, Scorpius called them all together to make the huge announcement of his departure.

His news was met with silence from most of his mates, except for Ricardo, who seemed happy when he promised Scorpius to ask around for a position for him. He went on about how boring it was over in France without his most important person, after which Albus started shouting that obviously, he was Scorpius’ most important person, “and not you, you— you stupid Ricardo!” Caroline and Patricia had to pull the two men apart before they managed to clog each other.

When after their first shocked reactions, calm settled into the group again, Scorpius mumbled, “I’m leaving for good this time.” He could feel the unhappy silence in the room as he sat down on the sofa and hid his face in his hands. “I just, I can’t see Harry anymore.”

He felt Caroline sit down as well and as she stroked his back, he looked up and saw her smiling at him sadly. Albus was standing next to them, staring down at his friend with a troubled expression and he looked like he wanted to say something but he just kept opening and closing his mouth, not a sound coming out of him at first.

Finally, he managed, “I thought you were with Ricardo.” It came out in a whisper.

_ Oh_, Scorpius swallowed, trying very hard to come up with an explanation, but Ricardo beat him to it. “Yeah man, he broke up with me a few weeks ago, but—” he looked at Patricia with an odd smile and pulled her into his arms by the hip, “—I’m ok. I’m with Patricia now.” Patricia was blinking hard at their sudden coming-out, but then she nodded, a similar expression on her face as she played along with the lie but must have also felt extremely relieved that they could finally be open about their relationship.

“And,” Albus looked back at Scorpius now, frowning, “now you’re in love with my dad _ again _?”

God, how ridiculous it all sounded. Scorpius couldn’t believe that Albus hadn’t figured out their lies yet. But maybe he was too drunk for that. There was silence while nobody said anything and it would have been the perfect opportunity to confess that he’d actually never been with Ricardo, always loved Harry, but Scorpius was too drunk as well, and too sad to deal with an angry Albus, so he just nodded.

“Albus,” Caroline spoke turning to her boyfriend, and he finally averted his gaze from Scorpius. “Don’t you have something to tell Scorpius?”

“Oh!” His expression suddenly changed from worried and troubled to excited before he took a seat on the coffee table in front of them and announced with a wide grin, “You’re gonna be a godfather, Scorpius!”

Blinking at that very bizarre statement and sudden change of topic, Scorpius expected Al to tell him more but he and Caroline were just waiting for his reaction.

And then he got it.

“You’re pregnant?” He asked her and she nodded with a small smile before turning to her boyfriend, “But that’s really not what I meant, Albus.” She was laughing now, at Al’s confused expression and Scorpius was still too shocked to even tell or show his friends how happy he was for them. “I meant, don’t you have something to tell him concerning Harry?”

Hearing his name again almost made Scorpius forget about the wonderful news he’d just gotten.

“Right,” Albus started and then his mouth did that weird open-close thing again before he finally swallowed and his eyes met Scorpius’. They were glancing at each other for a long time, Scorpius not remembering the last time the two of them had been this close. It made him want to pull his friend into a hug, squeeze him tight and never let him go. At the same time, Scorpius was sure that something else entirely was going on in his friend’s head because there was a glimmer of sadness in his eyes.

“What is it, Albus?” He asked and reached out, putting a hand on Al’s knee. Immediately, Albus’ hand came up to his and held it.

“Just please,” he started and then something in his face broke and there were tears collecting in the corner of his eyes, “don’t go because of my dad. I will miss you so much.”

“As will I,” came from behind him where Pat was standing, Ricardo hugging her from behind but not saying anything.

There was a big lump in Scorpius’ throat at the sight of all of his friends staring at him, not wanting him to go. It should have made Scorpius reconsider his decision and stay in London after all, but somehow it made him even more sure that leaving would be the right call.

All of his friends were in happy and serious relationships, building a life together, starting their own families while Scorpius had been hung up on his best friend’s dad for 9 years now. If Scorpius wanted to have something like they had one day, he would have to leave. Now.

“I really love you guys but I just can’t do this anymore,” Scorpius whispered, a dreadful feeling running through his veins at the disappointed sight of Albus and Patricia. Ricardo was smiling at him softly, reassuring him that at least he wouldn’t be alone over in Paris while Caroline was just looking at Albus, disappointed.

Scorpius couldn’t help but feel that he was missing something, but whatever it was, he had made his decision.

◊ ◊ ◊

“You’re doing _ what _?” Draco asked over the dinner table only a few days after Scorpius had realised that staying in England, working by Harry’s side was never going to make him happy.

“I’m transferring back to France. When and if they have a position for me.” He took a sip of his goblet of wine and pointedly did not look his father in the eyes who he knew was scowling at him. “Ricardo thinks the Ministère will take me back with open arms. I was one of their best trainees after all.”

But his dad wasn’t even listening. “You’ve only _ just _ returned,” he said angrily, “It hasn’t even been a year. What do you mean, you’re going back?”

There was no explanation that Scorpius could give him that did not involve Harry, so he said nothing.

After all of his birthday guests had left, Scorpius had taken a sober-up potion and sat down by the fireplace and really thought about his options one more time. They were either, stay in London, keep working with Harry and suffer. Or, go back to Paris, get some healthy distance from the man he was in love with and hopefully slowly get over him.

Seeing that Scorpius had already experienced both options he could safely say that the second was the lesser of the two evils. Assuming of course that he would one day get over Harry which chances were he wouldn’t—since he hadn’t been successful the first time he had tried. _ But_, and it was a big but, the first time, Scorpius hadn’t let himself date or get to know anyone in fear of hurting them again. In retrospect, how could he have gotten over Harry when there had been nobody else to occupy the space Harry had in his heart? So maybe leaving and trying to date other people would be a safe way for Scorpius to finally find love and happiness with someone who wasn’t so oblivious to his feelings.

If he were to tell his dad, though, he would argue, based on perfect logic, that the right decision was to stay in London and date other people right here. It might take longer to get over Harry that way, but running away again just so he wouldn’t have to see Harry and consequently leaving his family and friends behind wasn’t a solution. After all, it hadn’t worked the first time.

But Scorpius was done. He couldn't take being around Harry anymore without being able to touch him.

“Scorpius,” his father started after silently staring at him for a while. Scorpius hadn’t noticed that minutes had passed, “_Please _ tell me this is not still about Harry Potter?”

“What else would it be about,” he admitted in a sigh because as always, lying to his dad was basically useless. He could always see right through him.

“Son, don’t you think that moving out of the country for a second time because of a crush—“

“If anybody calls it a crush one more time, so help me,” Scorpius interrupted his dad, which he knew he hated but Scorpius just couldn’t stay calm any longer. “Nobody understands. Nobody knows what it feels like, dad. And that’s alright because you are not in my head but this has gone on for almost 10 years now. I have loved Harry for almost a decade! It’s not a simple crush. It’s not easy for me to feel like this. _ Nothing _about this is easy! So, don’t,” he had started to shout he realised too late, “Don’t call it a crush!”

“Whatever it is, Scorpius, you are being ridiculous.”

They both paused.

“_Ridiculous_?”

He couldn’t believe it. Here he was, opening his heart to his dad, and that was his reaction?

“Yes, Scorpius. Ridiculous. Foolish. Stupid! Why would you hold on to those feelings for the better part of your teenage and adult life? You and Harry will never be anything. You’re wasting your time and my patience. If you think I will pay for yet another move—“

“How could you say that?” Scorpius screamed at his dad, flying from his seat in a rush. “You of all people should know what it feels like to love somebody you cannot have!”

“Don’t you dare compare my love for your mother to your insane obsession with Harry Potter!” Finally, his dad had completely lost his cool as well, screaming back at him like he hadn’t in a very long time.

Scorpius didn’t understand what was happening. He could see why his dad was frustrated at his son telling him he would move away again, but he had never so outright belittled his feelings. Why was he suddenly attacking Scorpius’ feelings and saying what he must have known would hurt him the most?

“I know it’s stupid but I love him, dad. I do! And you are right, it is insane how _ much _ I love him, seeing that he rejected me and then we didn’t even talk to each other for 6 years. But here I still am! Loving him!” he shouted in a hysterical laugh and his hands came up to hide his teary eyes. “Even more than before! And dad, it’s killing me! I would rather be dead than continue to suffer through being without him!“

Suddenly his dad froze on the spot. Where he had just been pacing back and forth in front of Scorpius, he was now staring at him like he was something foul.

“You would rather be dead?” His father repeated in a low voice, “How dare you talk about your life like that! You would really leave this world because Harry Potter doesn’t love you back?”

Hearing the anger and pain in his dad’s voice was like a wake-up call. Of course, he had overreacted. Of course, Scorpius wasn’t thinking about dying. It had just been something he had said in the spur of the moment because sometimes the pain and loneliness he felt was so unbearable that he thought he would do anything to make it stop.

But not _ really _ anything.

“No,” he said small and quietly, looking at his dad with tears in his eyes, “I misspoke. I don’t want to die. I— I just wish that everything could be a little easier for me,” Draco’s eyes were still on him, cold and hurt, “I’m sorry, dad. I really didn’t think.”

“Yes, I can see that. You don’t think at all, do you, Scorpius? Because if you did then you would see that whatever you are feeling for Harry right now won’t matter in the long run because in the end, no matter how intense your feelings, they won’t last forever. They hardly ever do,” now he stepped closer, the edge leaving his voice, “but my love for you, Scorpius, it’s endless. Which is why I am begging you not to leave me again.”

“Yes. I understand,” he said. “I won’t leave you,” he added, letting Draco pull him into a tight hug.

But what Scorpius really thought at that moment was

_ If you don’t let me leave, then my love for Harry will also be endless. _

◊ ◊ ◊

Following his dad throwing Harry out from his birthday party, it was obvious that Harry was avoiding him. He always found excuses for why he and Scorpius couldn’t have lunch together or why he had to go home early or stay in the office late. They still saw a lot of each other as they were working on multiple cases together, but Harry kept the conversations mostly professional and whenever Scorpius tried to find an opportunity to apologise for his dad and tell Harry not to take whatever exactly he had said to heart, Harry found an excuse to change the subject or leave the room. It was tiring and only after two weeks of Harry keeping his distance did Scorpius manage to corner the man and ask him what was going on, why he was being so cold.

“Sorry Scorp, there’s just been a lot of stress on me, as Head of the Department, you know?” he said, playing the Head Auror card which was when Scorpius knew that there was really no use talking to the man. He had shut himself off from him. Completely.

Obviously, after that, it didn’t take Scorpius long to realise that the talk Harry had had with his dad at his birthday couldn’t be all that was going on. There was something else on Harry’s mind that had made him end his friendship with Scorpius so abruptly.

However, if Harry was somehow negatively affected by the change in their relationship, he didn’t show it. He looked and acted like always and Scorpius missed him so much, it physically hurt. He missed the feeling of the weight of Harry’s arm around his shoulder on their way back to the office or while sitting in a meeting. He missed Harry hugging him over a job well done. He missed seeing him direct a smile at him that actually reached his eyes or Harry calling him_ Scorp _ in that affectionate tone he had reserved only for him. He missed Scorpius-and-Harry, the two of them ,_together _.

For weeks, Scorpius played along and hoped that whatever Harry was going through would be over soon because if having Harry’s affection directed towards him without being able to act on his own feelings had been painful, getting treated like he didn’t even matter was much much worse. And while having his relationship with Harry taken away from him from one day to the other was already hard to bear, it was just too much when Harry’s birthday came closer and Scorpius wasn’t even invited.

Obviously, he hadn’t attended the big Weasley-Potter celebration in those past few years when he had been in France, but this year he thought he’d finally be able to join them again. But he wasn’t invited. And then it was August and all Scorpius did was leave a stupid greeting card and Harry’s favourite chocolates on his desk. The following evening, Harry approached him to thank him for the gift and for a split of a second Scorpius thought that this was his opportunity to ask him what the hell was going on. But when Scorpius opened his mouth, Harry was already gone again, not even having spared him another glance.

And that was that.

That was how Harry Potter completely abandoned Scorpius Malfoy.

◊ ◊ ◊

Scorpius felt so alone.

These days the only two things that summoned a smile on his face were meeting up with Albus and playing with his newborn son and seeing his dad on Sundays.

“I really didn’t think we would ever revisit that subject,” Albus said as he was rocking his son back and forth in his arms, “Feels like we’re 16 again and you’re watching my dad bend over in just his pants.” He had an amused expression on his face as he watched Scorpius let his head hang down and pull at his too-short hair.

“He’s still constantly driving me insane,” Scorpius moaned and suddenly looked up at Albus who looked startled at the fast movement and stopped rocking Christopher. “The other day, I walked into our office and he was doing crunches. Shirtless. In the middle of the room, Albus!”

“Oh yes,” he laughed at that. “I think the fact that he is now officially a grandpa is freaking him out so he’s working out more than usual.”

Scorpius thought that was ridiculous because Harry still looked extremely attractive and much younger than his age but the reason for Harry’s recent changes didn’t even matter to Scorpius. What mattered was that Scorpius was _ still _ in love with Harry, _ still _ plagued by the urge to touch and be close to him while being kept at a distance.

It hurt. It hurt so fucking much and if Scorpius hadn’t promised his dad that he wouldn’t go, he’d have probably already packed his suitcase and disappeared. Secretly, he was still hoping to hear from Ricardo about an open job position. He hadn’t yet decided what he would do if he got an offer despite having promised his dad to stay.

“You know,” Albus suddenly said and his face looked serious, “do you remember that promise you made me when we were kids?” There were many promises that Scorpius had made Albus during their whole friendship, but of course, Scorpius immediately knew what Albus was talking about.

He had made him promise to never date his father.

“Yes,” Scorpius replied and felt himself tense, expecting Albus to remind him about it.

But then his friend smiled softly and said, “It was wrong of me to do that and I hope you know that I don’t expect you to keep it.” Scorpius felt a hand on his shoulder, squeezing him hard.

Until that moment, Scorpius hadn’t even realised how much this promise had weighed him down, but the second Albus had taken it back, Scorpius had literally felt a weight lift off of his shoulders. Suddenly the hypothetical unbreakable vow the two of them had made when they’d been 16 was broken, and ignoring the fact that Harry still wouldn’t want him, not even with his son’s blessing, Scorpius felt so relieved, he wanted to cry.

“But,” he spoke slowly, trying not to make his voice sound as weak as he felt, “Harry will never see me that way.”

Albus shrugged at that and murmured, “I wouldn’t be so sure,” before Christopher started crying and Albus sighed dramatically and started swinging him left and right in a rocking motion. “Lately he’s been… depressed.”

“Really?” Scorpius replied in surprise. Harry had seemed fine at work, though, obviously, there was something going on.

“Actually, since your birthday party last summer. He’s,” Albus sighed again, this time in relief after Chris had finally stopped screaming bloody murder, “He doesn’t talk about you anymore.”

_ He doesn’t talk about me anymore _, Scorpius repeated the words in his head, realising that this meant that he used to talk about him? With Albus?

“When you were in France, he kept asking about you. He always wanted to know what was up with you. Since you’ve been back, he’s been slipping in your name whenever there was an opportunity, totally unconsciously. It was bloody annoying,” Albus said and his tone spoke for itself. “Not that talking about my best friend is annoying but when your dad keeps mentioning another bloke it gets old real quick, you know?” Now he was showing Scorpius some teeth but his smile faltered when he saw Scorpius just staring up at him in shock at this new information.

Another sigh and then Albus let Christopher plop onto Scorpius’ lap, who startled but quickly reached out to hold the toddler. “What I’m saying is, my dad is completely mad about you. Or at least, was, until whatever happened at your birthday.”

“Mad about me?” He asked, trying not to squeeze the baby too hard and rocking his legs up and down. “In a… romantic sort of way?”

“I don’t know about that,” Albus sighed—he did that a lot—and he put a hand to his forehead, looking down, “but I guess so, yeah. At least that’s what Caroline says it is. She wanted me to tell you for years but then you were with Ricardo and I thought, well, that’s better for everybody. Just that that was a lie, wasn’t it?” Now their gazes met, and it scared Scorpius to see his best mate be angry at him for literally having lied to him for years but rather than anger, there was sadness in his eyes. “You were never with Ricardo but you wanted to make me comfortable so you lied about your feelings to me. You suffered all on your own when I should have been there for you… but again… I was being a really shit friend-“

“Stop,” Scorpius said, and he stood up, Christopher in his arms, and walked towards Albus who seemed in distress and wouldn’t take his tearing eyes off of his best mate. “This had nothing to do with you. It was my decision to lie and I’m so sorry I did. I should have told you the truth.”

“The truth being that you never stopped loving my dad for almost a whole decade?”

“Yes,” he whispered back and then Albus started crying and crushed him and Christopher in a hug that made Scorpius realise just how lucky he was to have him in his life.

“Talk to my dad, tell him how you feel,” he sobbed against his shoulder for a few more moments and then pulled his head up and Scorpius was shocked to see the love his friend had for him when he said, “I want you to be happy. With him.”

◊ ◊ ◊

Scorpius knew that _ something _ was going on the moment Teddy Lupin and James Potter stepped out of Harry’s office, their fingers intertwined. The apple Scorpius was holding would have fallen to the ground if his teeth hadn’t been lodged into it.

The two men looked flustered, James had an angry sneer on his face and Teddy appeared worried. They halted in front of Scorpius who was still staring at them holding hands, apple between his lips.

“Morning, Scorpius,” Teddy said, and he showed him his usual smile but it quickly faltered when Scorpius didn’t return it and just kept… staring. “Harry is in a bad mood, maybe you shouldn’t go in there for now,” he added and it sounded like it pained him to say so.

“Don’t mind dad, he’s being a tosser,” James countered in an angry growl. Scorpius could tell how tense they both were, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out they had probably had a fight about-

“We’re dating. Have been for years. In case you’re wondering about this,” James held up their hands in front of Scorpius who finally realised how rude he’d been by just staring at them and not saying anything. He swallowed and let the apple drop into his hands.

“I’m really,” he wasn’t sure what to say. Shocked? Confused? Angry that the two of them never told him they were into blokes as well when it would have been nice to know that he wasn’t the only one? Gay solidarity and all that bollocks?

But this wasn’t about him. This was about them and Scorpius didn’t know their story.

“I’m really happy for you guys.”

Instantly, James’ face cleared and his lips showed Scorpius that signature slim smile of his. “Thanks, Scorpius. I’m sure it will work out for you guys too.”

A little confused Scorpius asked, “What do you mean?” because it sounded like he was referring to Scorpius’ love life but after he had announced his fake break-up with Ricardo last summer, he hadn't been on any dates or even mentioned a potential love interest. What was this about?

“Oh, nothing,” James corrected, but he was a horrible liar and it showed on his face that he’d just realised that he had said something wrong. At that moment Teddy, who had been awfully quiet which was very untypical for him, said

“I’m taking the week off. If anybody wants something from me, tell them to ask Paul, yeah?”

Scorpius nodded, though he felt like he should have insisted on finding out what James had meant.

Seconds later the two lovebirds had disappeared around the corner towards the lift and Scorpius was debating whether he should go into the office. They had warned him that Harry was in a foul mood but Scorpius didn’t see how finding out that his godson and son were in a happy relationship could have upset Harry. Also, he needed to talk to him.

After his talk with Albus, Scorpius had decided to try and talk to Harry one more time. He wasn’t planning to confess the second he walked into the room but if he’d notice that he still had a chance, Scorpius would do anything to grab it. They hadn’t really talked about personal matters for months now but Scorpius’ feelings hadn’t changed. Maybe that meant that Harry also still wanted him… if he’d ever wanted him in the first place—which he had, based on what Albus had told him.

Deciding that he would pretend he had no idea what was going on, Scorpius entered their shared office, ready to come face to face with an angry Harry, which he still thought was a bit of a scary sight. But, to his surprise, the office was empty and the Floo a mess which indicated that it had just been used.

Harry didn’t come back for the rest of the workday. Whatever had upset him so much must have been bad because Harry never skipped work because of a personal matter apart from when his kids were in danger which Scorpius knew was not the case.

Before he decided to go home, being the last person to leave the department that day, Scorpius wondered what Harry was doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised you a happy ending and don't worry, you will get one!  
You may let your frustration out in the comments.


	9. Chapter 9

Scorpius got a feeling of déjà vu when he stepped into his living room to find Harry sitting at his kitchen aisle, shoving fried rice into his mouth. Just that this time, the spoon missed its target almost every second time which resulted in Chinese fast food all over Scorpius’ kitchen floor.

“Oops,” Harry said in a cute voice but his face looked miserable and he was swaying back and forth a bit on the high stool with his Auror’s robes still on—one end of it was trapped under the tips of his heavy boots.

Scorpius was nervous. It had been months since Harry had been at his place, the last time being his 25th birthday that had ended so horribly for them, and since then they had barely talked.

“I bought you Chop Suey,” Harry said, holding out a container towards Scorpius who quickly walked towards him and took it out of Harry’s grasp to set it back on the table before the man could make even more of a mess by possibly dropping it.

“Thanks,” Scorpius said and inspected him before he concluded, “You’re drunk.”

“Just a little,” Harry said with a full mouth but didn’t look away from his stir-fry, “I had a few beers. Can’t blame me.”

Taking off his own coat and shoes, Scorpius was careful not to say anything wrong. Harry was drunk and very open with Scorpius despite avoiding him for the past couple of months. Maybe this was their chance to reconcile... and maybe it could also be an opportunity for them to talk about their feelings for each other. But Scorpius didn’t want to scare Harry away by asking too many questions too quickly. The man was obviously lonely and needed someone to talk to and he’d come to Scorpius despite their current… situation.

“I'm not blaming you, Harry.”

There was a pause and then a swallow before a whisper sounded from Harry’s lips. “James is.”

“For what?”

Carefully, Scorpius pulled the robes off of Harry’s arms and the man complied, setting down his spoon to pull his arms through the sleeves.

“For being a bad dad,” Harry sighed and then he hid his face in the palms of his hands. “I never had problems with James. We always got along great! But now—” he turned to look at Scorpius and his eyes were shiny wet, “—he said that he _ hates _ me.”

“I’m sure he didn’t mean that,” Scorpius said with full confidence because even if Harry might have had problems with Albus during their childhood, him and James had always been good. James adored his father.

“He did!” Harry almost shouted and then stood up, a little wobbly at first but he walked surprisingly steadily over to the sofa just to let himself plop down on it and kick his shoes off. “Said he hates me for being so oblivious about other people’s feelings. About the comments I’ve made over the years that made him and Teddy think they couldn’t be together.” He continued almost in a shout, “I grew up in a cupboard and then was chased by a murderous lunatic while I should have been developing the basic skill to recognise human emotions! It’s not my fault I’m rubbish at social skills!”

Scorpius stood beside him where Harry had stretched out on the sofa, his hands covering his face. “But who am I kidding? I _ knew _that there was something between them,” he suddenly admitted into his hands. “When Teddy was… I think 19, and James was 14, I caught them kissing one summer. They said they were just fooling around and it meant nothing.

“I still talked to Teddy after that to make sure that nothing of the sort would happen again. Their age difference was too big. Teddy was done with Hogwarts and James was still a child! Also, we practically raised them as brothers and them dating would be wrong.” Harry sat up now and pulled his legs to his chin. “At least that’s what I thought at that point. And after that, Teddy kept his distance from James. But apparently after James graduated from Hogwarts they started dating secretly and he said that because of what I had said to Teddy back then, he had been afraid to go public with their relationship until now.” When Scorpius saw that Harry was almost in tears, his hands having slip from his face, he felt the painful need to do something to change that. But Scorpius stopped himself, wanting Harry to get it all out.

“Teddy said that for years he didn’t want to let himself have those feelings for James because he didn’t want to disappoint _ me_! Can you believe that? He thought _ I _would hate him if I were to find out that he and James were in love. He always felt like their relationship was wrong and had to be kept a secret. And when they told me that this morning, I— I just couldn’t take it because—” he swallowed and a sob sounded from his lips, “because I know exactly what that feels like.” And then he was crying, really quietly. and if Scorpius hadn’t been so close to him and hadn’t been listening intently, he would have probably missed the sniffs and quiet sobs that left Harry Potter as he sat small and drunk on his couch, his arms slung around his legs and face hidden between his knees.

Scorpius should have probably been counseling Harry by now, patting his back, telling him that it wasn’t his fault things had turned out this way, that he’d done the right thing to accept their relationship, better late than never, and that he’d helped take weight off of James and Teddy’s shoulders. However, Scorpius’ brain was telling him that maybe that wasn’t really the only reason why Harry was crying. Scorpius brain was telling him that maybe Harry was crying because he understood how Teddy must have felt being in love with someone he shouldn’t be in love with _ because Harry was also in love with someone he shouldn’t be in love with. And that someone was _—

Scorpius held his breath, not daring to finish that thought. There were better times to analyse whatever Harry was feeling or could have meant by that. Right now Scorpius needed to be there for his friend, so, despite his pounding heart, Scorpius shook his head and pulled Harry into a crushing hug, finally breathing in hard when he smelled Harry’s scent as closely as he hadn’t in months.

“It’s gonna be fine,” Scorpius murmured. His eyes were closed, his forehead leaned on Harry’s head. He noticed Harry was shaking a little, so he squeezed him harder. “You are a great father, Harry.”

“No,” Harry sobbed, and it made him sound like a small child, “I feel so—“ but he didn’t continue, his sobs just getting louder. Harry’s hands came up to fist into Scorpius’ shirt where his shoulders were and it almost felt like he was hugging him back. And instead of continuing where he left off, he started to whisper, “Scorp,” over and over again, like a mantra. His voice sounded so pained it made Scorpius finally pull away from him and do something he wouldn’t have had the courage to do if it hadn’t been for all the alcohol in Harry’s blood and Scorpius hoping that he wouldn’t interpret too much into it.

With his fingertips on Harry’s chin, Scorpius pushed the man’s face up so they could look at each other. He knew that Harry would feel more calm if he saw Scorpius’ kind expression while he told him once more that Harry wasn’t at fault for any of this, but Scorpius had forgotten that every time he saw Harry’s green eyes so close to his, he almost stopped functioning. He’d forgotten that he would drown in them if he wasn’t careful. This time, however, Scorpius saw something he hadn’t seen before. Maybe he was imagining it, but it seemed like Harry was looking back at him, the exact same way that Scorpius was looking at Harry. It almost seemed like maybe he was also _ feeling _the same.

Merlin, they were so close, and then Harry came even closer, fast, and before Scorpius could register what had happened, Harry was already pulling back again, leaving Scorpius with a lingering feeling of the press of his lips against his.

A kiss.

Harry had kissed Scorpius. On the mouth. Which was now hanging open a bit, in absolute disbelieve.

Maybe Scorpius was the one who was drunk. Or was he dreaming? Because Harry Potter did not kiss Scorpius Malfoy like that. Short, _ sure_, with passion and longing.

“Harry,” Scorpius whispered and he knew exactly what it sounded like. Like he wanted more of him. Needed him. The other man’s eyes were flickering down towards his lips and then back up again, repeatedly and at that moment Scorpius was so sure that he wanted the same. “Please, Harry—“ Scorpius wanted to ask, to beg him to kiss him again, but he didn’t have to. Because Harry pressed forward again, though this time, it wasn’t short and sweet but hot, wet and furious.

Their kiss was like nothing Scorpius had ever experienced before. Some of it was probably because he had never made out with someone drunk—he usually liked his sexual partners to be completely aware of what was happening—but also due to how Harry was suddenly manhandling him, grabbing Scorpius by the arms so tightly it almost hurt and then dipping him back so he was pressed with his back on the sofa cushions, with Harry leaning over him.

It felt like a dream. The best dream Scorpius had ever had, and he would let all of it happen. Let Harry do what he needed to do because _ god_, Scorpius needed it just as much.

But, Harry was drunk

"Stop!" he called, despite that being the last thing he wanted. "I'll get you a sober-up potion. Then we can continue," Scorpius explained after Harry had immediately come to a halt and just looked at Scorpius with burning passion.

Harry didn't say anything to that but he held out his hand and Scorpius heard the distant rattle of his potion cupboard and then a small flask connect with Harry's open palm.

Scorpius was still pinned beneath him, watching in awe as Harry uncorked the bottle and drowned the liquid. He let the empty flask fall on the floor, shuddering himself, as the potion cleaned his blood from all the alcohol. 

And then he opened his eyes and asked Scorpius, "Can I continue now?"

“Oh god, _ yes_," Scorpius moaned before his lips were sealed by Harry’s again and suddenly his whole body was pressed against Scorpius, Harry’s knees bracketing Scorpius’ thighs so he couldn’t move away.

And then he felt it. The ungodly length of Harry’s hard cock rubbing up against him through their trousers.

“Do you,” Harry started between kisses and licks as he moved down to Scorpius neck, “want this?” It was clear that with _ this _he meant more than kisses because he was suddenly grinding his hips into Scorpius so hard it hurt.

“Yes,” Scorpius moaned out, though, he wasn’t sure that any of this was even really happening because how could it. “Yes, please!”

Apparently, that was enough for Harry to keep going. Scorpius didn’t see him pull his wand, and he didn’t hear him say anything but suddenly the buttons of both of their dress shirts were opening and Harry pulled Scorpius forward by the neck so that the fabric had enough space to swish away from their bodies, leaving them both topless.

Scorpius leaned forward with Harry’s naked chest right in front of him. He wanted to suck, lick and bite it, like he had imagined thousands of times, but Harry seemed to have other plans. With a hard push, Scorpius found himself pressed into the sofa again, his body starting from his hips completely immobilised by Harry’s weight. There was a pause in which he felt the man’s gaze on his chest. No, on the necklace around his neck.

“You’re wearing it again,” he breathed as if in shock and Scorpius’ hand immediately came up to it, protectively.

“I started wearing it again in France. Never taken it off since then. Is that bad?” he asked, out of breath and felt his heart beating against his hand on his chest.

“No, I’m glad.”

And then the man’s fingers came up to open Scorpius’ trousers, first the belt, then the top button and then the zip. Harry hooked his fingers into both Scorpius’ loose trousers _ and _ tight pants and then he pulled, hard, revealing Scorpius’ long slender cock to Harry’s hungry eyes.

“God, you are so beautiful,” Harry growled at the sight and then he leaned down and took him into his mouth.

Scorpius’ eyes almost popped out of his head at the intensity of both shock and pleasure that washed over and through his body, making him bend his toes and grasp at the cushion underneath him. Harry was bobbing his head up and down, creating a delicious suction with his mouth and pressing the tip of his tongue to Scorpius’ slit every so often. At first, his hands were on Scorpius’ hips, pressing him down so he wouldn’t buck up into Harry’s throat, but after a while he started sliding up, pinching both of Scorpius’ nipples, making the younger man squeal underneath him.

“Harry, Harry, wait,” he whimpered. He could feel himself getting closer to release and Harry pulling at his nipples with his thumb and forefinger didn’t help slow that down. “Don’t make me come yet. Please, Harry.”

His fingers eased on Scorpius immediately but it took the man a few seconds to finally stop sucking and let Scorpius’ cock pop out of his mouth as if he’d needed to taste it for a few more seconds to burn the memory into his brain.

“Please,” Scorpius whined, in such a dazed state of bliss, pleasure and want, “I want to feel you inside of me, Harry.”

Harry didn’t say anything, but he sat up immediately, giving Scorpius the perfect view of his upper body and bulge. Harry pulled down his pants then, down to right above his knees, and Scorpius couldn’t help but breathe in sharply at the sight of Harry’s gorgeous penis.

It was crystal clear, though, that Harry’s size would be a problem. Scorpius was unprepared and fingering him ready for Harry would take more time than any of them were ready to wait. Scorpius had never imagined that the first time he would have sex with Harry Potter would be so hurried—_ or _ that it would actually ever happen at all, but current events showed that he’d been wrong about that. However, Scorpius feared that if he didn’t get Harry to do it _ now _ and _ fast, _ maybe the man would change his mind and walk away.

So, he murmured, “Use a stretching spell,” even though he usually liked the feeling of having fingers opening him up and the anticipation of getting ready for more.

Harry nodded and then moved to turn Scorpius around underneath him, picking him up and turning his body. Scorpius immediately felt Harry’s hands come up to prop him up on his knees and press Scorpius’ head and shoulders into the sofa.

So exposed to Harry’s view, the anticipation felt unreal and Scorpius waited and waited, the side of his face pressed into the cushion and his hands fisting into it next to his face, waiting for the stretching spell to wash over him. But the first thing he felt instead was Harry’s palms on his cheeks and then his thumbs in his crack, pulling them apart to reveal his hole, making him shudder. Harry mumbled something that sounded like a stretching and lubricant spell and Scorpius gasped out loud as, without a warning, Harry let three of his fingers slip inside of him in one go, stretching him a little more than the spell had prepared him for.

After a few minutes of the feeling of utter bliss of Harry’s finger inside of him, he pulled them out, muttered another spell and then rubbed along his crack to spread more lubricant.

“I’m going in, Scorp,” Harry finally said and somehow hearing him say his name for the first time since they had started, made Scorpius heart hammer in his chest. It sped up another beat when the head of Harry’s cock started to breach him and Scorpius moaned out loud at the delicious pressure.

Harry stopped way too soon and Scorpius knew that he wasn’t completely inside of him, probably not even half, but it was already getting too much and Scorpius was biting his teeth together so not to make any unsexy sounds.

“Sorry,” Harry breathed out, apparently being able to tell that Scorpius was in a bit of pain. His hands started to rub Scorpius’ back softly and intimately, sliding to his shoulders and then down again to form a circle on his ass. He repeated that motion for a few minutes before he said, “I’ll not go deeper than that.” Then he started to pull out and Scorpius, who’d just adjusted to the width and depth of it all, wanted to complain and tell him not to stop now. But then Harry pressed inside again, just a bit, and slowly started to push in and out.

The pressure of Harry’s thick shaft inside of him was so different from how sex with other men had felt. Harry was so big. Every time his cock rubbed up against his prostate, Scorpius let out a squeal that sounded so unsexy in his own ears but Harry didn’t seem to share that opinion because soon he angled himself so he’d hit his prostate even better.

Scorpius felt one of Harry’s hands on the small of his back while he pushed inside of Scorpius, the other one was pulling Scorpius’ cheek to the side which probably meant that Harry was watching himself sink into Scorpius’ hole with every push. The thought of that alone made the feeling so much more intense and Scorpius couldn’t help but wish that he could somehow see it too. Harry’s grunts in connection with his slow sensual pushes made Scorpius so incredibly hot, he could feel his cock starting to throb way too soon.

He really didn’t want to come yet because it felt like Harry had just started moving and he didn’t want to fit the cliché of young people not being able to last very long, but everything was just too much and when Harry suddenly started to speed up a little, causing him to push deeper inside than before, deeper than Scorpius was prepared for, he just couldn’t hold back anymore.

Every push caused a loud moan to escape his lips and when Harry’s hand left his back and finally came around to pump his cock once and twice, Scorpius came in a shout. The first few seconds felt like someone had dropped him into a pool of pleasure potion, but the moment Harry stopped the movement of his hand and the last drop of cum dripped down the tip of Scorpius’ cock, the exhaustion came crashing down on him. If it wasn’t for Harry’s hands grasping him by the hips hard to hold him up, Scorpius would have collapsed into the cushions. Harry seemed to get closer to his orgasm as well, his grunts getting louder and movements sloppier. Slipping inside deeper and deeper with Scorpius’ walls contracting around him, Harry finally came, after what felt like much too long but was probably not even a minute after Scorpius himself had come.

He rode his orgasm out slowly and even long after he’d shot his load inside Scorpius did he stay inside him, just with the head, letting it slowly slide in and out of Scorpius’ pink hole while his hands started to rub Scorpius’ back again.

The slow slide of Harry’s penis inside of him felt soothing and wonderful. It was only exhaustion that made Scorpius bend his neck uncomfortably to look back at the man and wonder how much longer Harry was going to keep this up. Harry was looking down at him, hips moving slowly but surely with his mouth hanging slightly open as he panted.

“Harry?” Scorpius asked and only then did the older man stop moving.

“Sorry,” he said, again, as if he hadn’t realised that he’d still been moving inside of him. With a final small push first, he bottomed out of Scorpius, making him gasp at the sudden empty and gaping feeling of his arse. “I couldn’t stop. It felt so good inside you.”

Scorpius could have returned the compliment. Told Harry that this had been like a dream. His cock had felt great inside him too. Like it belonged there. But he was so tired and Harry was already picking him up, again, and then he walked them over towards Scorpius’ bedroom.

God, Scorpius was so tired, his vision was growing a little fuzzy.

Harry put him down on his bed and then he lay down next to him and pulled the blanket above the two of them, facing Scorpius with a small smile on his face.

“Harry?” Scorpius asked, and he saw that the man he loved so much was looking back at him, waiting for whatever he had to say. “I’ve loved you all this time,” he whispered because now he knew that Harry probably felt the same.

Scorpius fell asleep immediately afterwards, too tired to wait for Harry’s reply or bathe in the moment and the reality of what had just happened to him. What he had finally done with the love of his life.

In his dreams, he felt Harry stroke his cheek and whisper back, “Me too”.

◊ ◊ ◊

Scorpius woke up with a dull wonderful pain further down. Bending his back like a cat, he turned his head to the side, surprised that Harry was not next to him.

He had woken up several times during the night, his exhaustion losing against the excitement of having had sex with Harry and sleeping in the same bed with him afterwards. Harry had held Scorpius close against his chest for the whole night, a protective arm slung around his back, his leg entangled between those of Scorpius. While Harry had been sleeping, Scorpius had showered his chest and tattoo with kisses, trying to make up for not having been able to appreciate it enough during their love-making. It had all been so wonderful.

So Scorpius was not ready for the wave of anxiety that washed over him the moment he had stood up and confirmed that Harry was also not in the toilet or kitchen. No, Harry was gone, and he had left a soothing-muscle potion on the side of Scorpius’ bed stand with a note that read, **I’m so sorry**.

Scorpius drank the potion in one gulp after which he flung the empty flask against the wall. The shards didn’t hit him, fortunately, but when Scorpius fell to his knees sobbing, he felt a prick of pain in his left knee where a small cut had just started bleeding. He watched the droplets run down until they hit the bright tile of his kitchen floor and wondered how he could hurt so much after having had something so wonderful happen to him.

Scorpius wondered how in the world he would ever forget Harry now that he had gotten a taste of what it was like to actually have him. It seemed like an impossible task.

While he was cleaning the shards from the floor, he considered not going to work for that day. For sure, Harry would be glad not to see him after having left him without even a good morning—or a goodbye. But with Teddy having taken a sudden week off and Harry in a shaky mental state Scorpius couldn’t find the heart to avoid him even if Harry didn’t seem to feel the same.

However, when Scorpius got to work that morning, having healed the cut with an easy touch of his healing magic and glamoured his red eyes away, he stepped into an empty office. Patricia told him that Harry had come in early that morning and apparently decided to take his long-overdue holiday now.

“At the same time as Teddy?”

“Actually, _together_ with Teddy,” Patricia whispered behind her flat hand as if she did not want anybody else in the office to hear. “Harry didn’t say much besides that he would take some time off and reconcile with his son and godson.”

As much as that made sense, Scorpius still felt a stab of pain in his heart. He knew how important his family was to Harry, and it was great that he was trying to reconcile with them, but couldn’t he have chosen a better timing than that? Couldn’t he have left Scorpius more than a note that read **I’m so sorry**? Sorry for what? For causing him to limp because of his massive horse dick? For having to leave early in the morning without a goodbye? For… not wanting to be with Scorpius after all?

Didn’t he know how much Scorpius would hurt?

Patricia frowned at his silence and then let her hand drop to her side. “Is everything alright with you?” she asked.

“Fine,” Scorpius said, forcing a smile on his face. “Everything is fine.”

◊ ◊ ◊ 

A week later, Teddy returned. He stepped out of the ministry lift during lunchtime and into the department while biting into a juicy apple and saying, “Hello everyone,” like he hadn’t just come back from a super spontaneous holiday after having had a huge fight with his boss and godfather because he’d been secretly dating his son for years.

Almost the whole department, who, thanks to Patricia’s gossip, knew of the conflict between Teddy and Harry, glanced towards him, trying not to stare or see if he had any scars from duelling Harry. Patricia walked up to him first, slapping his shoulder, demanding an explanation about how he dared just walk in here like that without having kept anybody updated on the juicy details of their fight, which made Teddy laugh and pull her towards his desk. The polite thing to do would have probably been to let them update each other on their gossip but at that moment Scorpius just couldn’t care less about politeness.

It had been a week since he had had sex with Harry. A week since he had woken up to a cold bed. A week since he’d heard from the man, and every second was eating him up alive.

“What about Harry?” he asked loudly and everybody who’d been trying to listen in on them from around the office turned even more quiet immediately. Some people were looking at him suspiciously, probably thinking maybe Scorpius knew something he hadn’t shared with them in the past week which of course was right. Scorpius had told nobody about what had happened between them. God, a part of him had wanted to shout it out to the world, go to _ the Daily Prophet _ and make them write an article that read “Harry Potter belongs to Scorpius Malfoy, all you other bitches back off!”, but there was no way he could have shared the fact that they had been intimate with each other with anybody seeing how Harry was regretting it.

Alright, Scorpius didn’t really know how Harry felt about it because, again, they hadn’t talked about it and he hadn’t seen the man in a week! But Scorpius had had a lot of time to think this past week and he was now more than sure that Harry really loved him back. It all made sense. Everything that has been going on between them. The intimacy, their closeness, the flirting and then suddenly Harry keeping his distance after his father had probably told him how inappropriate his behaviour towards Scorpius was.

Harry had feelings for him and he felt guilty about them which is why he couldn’t face Scorpius now.

Scorpius understood. He really did. Or at least he wanted to because he loved Harry and he couldn’t even imagine what he must have felt like, realising that he was in love with someone who he’d watched grow up. At the same time, though, Scorpius was furious with him. For doing this to Scorpius, giving him what he’s wanted for years, and then leaving.

There was a small pause and Scorpius felt like Teddy was trying to analyse what was going through his head, but before Patricia could notice that something had passed between them, Teddy shrugged his shoulders and said, “Harry took today off as well because he needed to take care of something.”

Scorpius stared at him, flabbergasted. Harry had done what? Take another day off? Even though he’d taken care of his family business? How long was he going to keep this up? Running away from Scorpius without giving him an explanation?

“Oh right,” Teddy suddenly said after having taken another bite from his apple and pointing with a finger at Scorpius, “He also told me to tell you to stop by his place after work today,” and then Teddy grinned, took another bite of his apple and turned towards Patricia and started talking about the French Province and their heavenly wine selection.

Like _ hell_ Scorpius would wait that long. Clenching his teeth harder than comfortable he just squeezed through the crowd towards the emergency Floo and shouted, “Godric’s Hollow!” before the green fires took him there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading.  
Kudos and comments make my day :)


	10. Chapter 10

Of course, Harry wasn’t there when Scorpius stepped into his living room, ready to start a fight with the man for being such a selfish idiot. Furious, and for the first time questioning whether he even wanted to be with Harry after all, he sat on the sofa and stared at the Floo so that when Harry came back, he’d walk right into Scorpius and he could tear him off a strip.

Scorpius was done. For years he had cared more about what other people felt about his love life than what he felt himself. Not wanting to hurt Albus and break his promise, he hadn’t even considered starting anything with Harry. He had always deemed his love impossible but now he realised that he could have done something about it years ago. Instead of wasting his time with meaningless shags, he could have just tried to woo Harry and maybe Harry would have stopped thinking of him as a child sooner. But no, Scorpius had been thinking about Albus and about his and Harry’s stupid age difference and how it could freak out his dad. What had all this pain even been for?

Blowing up the problem in his head wouldn’t get him anywhere, Scorpius knew that. However, with every passing minute of Harry not returning and him thinking of more reasons he should have done something about his feelings sooner, he was getting angrier at Harry and at himself by the minute. Here he was, waiting for the man who had been the cause for all of his heartache during the past years who now had the audacity to make him wait even longer for whatever reason.

Scorpius could already see it coming. By the time Harry was going to step out of the Floo, whistling with a bag full of groceries under his arm, thinking what a beautiful day it was, Scorpius would be so angry, he would wipe that smile off of his face with a punch to the nose. Well, not really, but it helped to picture it.

His knee was flinching up and down and Scorpius was glancing between the Floo and the clock on the wall that already read well past 5pm when the Floo finally chimed and out stepped Harry Potter, looking down at his feet, not having noticed Scorpius’ presence yet.

The second he got a look at Harry’s face, though, all the anger drained from him.

“What happened to you?” Scorpius asked shocked which resulted in Harry gasping, apparently startled to have someone waiting for him. “Did you get beat up?” He stepped forward and pushed some streaks of hair from Harry’s damp forehead.

The man looked absolutely dreadful. There were bruises on one side of his face, around the eye and cheekbone area, and blood had dried right under his nose and stuck to his upper lip that had a fresh rip right at the cupid's bow.

“You could say that,” Harry said in a whimper as Scorpius softly stroke his thumb over Harry’s face, using a healing spell to make the fresh cuts close. “Thanks.” His face still looked swollen but now his eyes were clear and completely fixated on Scorpius. It seemed like he had _ just _ realised what was going on. That Scorpius was standing in front of him, touching him lovingly.

“I’m so sorry I made you worry, but,” Harry mumbled, not taking his eyes from Scorpius and standing still. Scorpius hand was still on the side of his neck as he looked down at Harry, only standing a few inches apart from him. “This morning I got a call. From France. You filed another transfer request?”

There was a moment that Scorpius was confused because he had decided against leaving months ago and hadn’t even handed in an official request. He’d only asked Ricardo to keep his ears open for any opening positions but that idea had long been abandoned. Harry, however, seemed to be under the impression that Scorpius wanted to leave again and he was looking at him with a pained expression and went on, “They called me to say that they have a position for you and wanted to check whether you were still interested.” There was a pregnant silence before he continued, “Are you?”

“No!” Scorpius said strongly and as if on cue the tension in Harry’s jaw eased under Scorpius’ fingertips.

“Oh, thank god. Because, Scorp,” now he looked up at him again and there were tears in his eyes, “I can’t lose you again. I just can’t. I wouldn’t have let you leave this time. Not after everything.”

Whatever Scorpius had wanted to say to Harry, whatever he had wanted to throw at his face, was forgotten as he looked down at the man who hopefully still wanted him.

“Where were you?” Scorpius asked calmly. Now that he felt Harry' pulse underneath his fingers, saw his eyes glimmer green and intense, Scorpius didn't want to talk. He just wanted to feel him, to stop worrying and just _ be _ with Harry. But there was something in Scorpius that held him back from doing what he'd done those past 9 years. Which was Avoid the problem. Avoid confrontation. Not be true to himself because he was afraid of what the truth might bring. _ Rejection_. 

Harry sighed and his mouth opened and closed a few times, as if he was unsure what to say next. Then, before he even spoke another word, he grasped Scorpius’ hand to pull him towards the sofa. They sat down, next to each other, Harry pulling one leg up to sit on top of it with his body turned to Scorpius. The way he was sitting made him look like a kid getting comfy with his friends in the common room. It made Scorpius smile even though whatever Harry would tell him was probably serious.

Just when Scorpius was about to tell Harry to please explain what the hell he had meant with that note, why he had disappeared and where he had been today, Harry stretched one hand out towards Scorpius and entwined their fingers with each other. Scorpius stared at Harry who was looking down at their hands with a little fond smile and for a second Scorpius was sure that everything would turn out just fine.

“I went to see Draco,” Harry bursted out and the moment the words were out it seemed like a weight had fallen off his shoulder. Scorpius on the other hand had no idea what to say to that because he couldn’t yet understand why seeing his dad had apparently had more priority than talking things out with Scorpius. “I told him about us—“ he started and Scorpius eyes went wide because why would he tell his dad about them when he hadn’t even established what was going on between the two of them, “and, as you can see, he wasn’t happy about it.”

“Wait—” he looked at Harry’s bruises again, realisation dawning on him, “my dad beat you up?” 

Harry nodded. “I had promised him I would never have a romantic relationship with you so I just had to tell him my intentions before anything more serious between us—”

“Wait!” Scorpius repeated and stopped him by pulling his hand out of Harry’s grasp and holding it up between them. “You promised him _ what _?”

His mind was racing. Harry was looking at him guiltily and Scorpius felt like there was a huge chunk of information missing for him to understand what the hell was going on. After all, Scorpius had been the one to make such a promise to Albus. Years ago. How could Harry have made the same one to his father? What were the odds?

“Start from the beginning please,” Scorpius requested with wide eyes. “What does my dad have to do with _ any _ of this?”

The man in front of him looked tired and troubled, and in any other situation Scorpius would have said to postpone the talk to tomorrow and let him get a good night’s rest first, but he had literally waited 9 years for this. There was no way Scorpius was going to just let this go now.

“Alright,” Harry sighed and forced a small smile onto his face. “Remember your last birthday when I kissed you and then suddenly left and after that we didn’t really hang out much anymore?” 

Scorpius nodded. “Of course, I remember. My dad said he told you to leave because you were acting inappropriate towards me.”

“Right,” Harry was looking down at his lap now. “Except that he actually said that if he saw me touch you one more time, he would report me for sexual harassment of a subordinate officer. And then he told me to keep our relationship professional from then on, otherwise...”

“He did _ what _?” Scorpius shouted and saw Harry’s face flinch into a grimace at the volume of his voice at such close proximity. “He had absolutely no right to say any of that to you!”

“No, he was right,” Harry argued, and he looked so ashamed at that moment, “I had no idea what I was doing to you. I—“ he seemed to almost choke on the words as they were coming out of him, “James was right. I am so oblivious. I never thought about how any of this was affecting you. Your feelings, I— I didn’t take them seriously,” he said, and it made Scorpius clench his jaw to hear him admit that out loud so confidently. “And I’ve been harbouring feelings for you for years, Scorp. At first, I just thought of you as one of my kids, you know? But then you tried to kiss me years ago and… I realised that I wasn't disgusted by the thought of it."

"Not _ disgusted_?"

"Scorpius, you have to understand. I was already in my forties then and you were only 18! If any other person that age would have approached me like that, I'd have probably been extremely uncomfortable. But when we were lying there and you were getting closer and closer, almost kissing me, all I could think of was how soft your lips looked. And then I thought how beautiful your smile was and how it was impossible that Draco could have made such a gorgeous child. And then I remembered, _ fuck, he's a child_!"

When you confessed to me, honestly, I thought all of this probably didn’t even mean much to you. Maybe you were just trying to see what it was like to kiss famous Harry Potter. Wondering what all the fuss about me in those barmy gossip magazines was all about, you know? Believe me, you wouldn't have been the first one. Ginny used to have to fight my fans off with a stick."

I couldn’t imagine that you were seriously_in love _ with me. After all, unlike those fans who only want me because they have this false heroic image of me in their head, you knew the real _ me _ . Flaws and everything,” Harry laughed because now he probably knew how silly he had been to think that. Still, Scorpius only clenched his teeth more, trying not to get frustrated at Harry confessing that he'd never taken his feelings seriously. Trying not to feel sorry for the man for having that little self-confidence. “Anyway, I couldn’t let anything happen between us so after you asked for a transfer I thought maybe it’s better if I let you go.” Now Harry was taking his hands again and holding them together between his. “I tried not to think of you while you were gone but—" Harry swallowed and paused before he continued, "then you came back and the first thing I thought when I saw you stand in front of me at the Trainee Graduation party was… _ this time I'm not letting him go again _.Fuck, Scorp, I was crazy about you but still didn't know if you really wanted me. And I felt so guilty about liking someone so young. But then I saw Ricardo and Patricia snog in front of the Ministry and I just knew that—”

“You saw them together?” Scorpius almost screamed, shocked at himself for losing his cool at that part of the whole confession. They’d had one job: Keep out of the public’s eye!

“Yeah,” he showed him a crooked grin. “I don't think they were even trying to hide it. And well, after that everything started to make sense to me. You and Ricardo were obviously not really dating. I thought you must have made it up for my sake which I realised probably meant that— anyway, I kept asking you questions about him to make you stumble over a lie and reveal the truth but you are good at coming up with impromptu stories, Scorp,” his face had cleared up a little and Scorpius watched him shake his head as he probably recalled some of Scorpius’ insane stories about his fake relationship with Ricardo.

“And where does my dad come into all of this?”

“Right,” Harry sighed and looked down at their entwined hands again. “I still tried to keep our relationship on a friendly basis. As much as I wanted to be more, I didn't think we should. And then, a few days after the whole inappropriate birthday kiss fiasco, Draco called me over to the Manor. And I'm telling you, I had never seen him so devastated before. He was completely wasted and told me it was all my fault that his son wanted to leave him again and he made me promise him to never get involved with you because he wanted someone better for you. He said I didn't deserve you. He begged me to keep away from you, Scorp. And as a father myself, I just knew how horrible Draco must feel about an old man like me trying to get with his precious son."

And until this morning, I didn’t get what he meant by you leaving _ again _ but when I found out that you considered going back to France this morning, I finally got it. And I guess it was the prospect of losing you again, that made me decide that I was done feeling guilty and sorry towards Draco or Albus. I was done feeling too old, or like a pervert for wanting to be with another consenting adult who wants me back just as much. I—” Harry squeezed his hand, only to stop his own from shivering, probably for admitting something out loud he'd never admitted before, "I am done thinking about everyone else first, before I think of _ me _ . And _ I _ want to be with _ you_. Despite the nasty articles Rita Skeeter will definitely write about me."

A snort left Scorpius’ nose and he half-grinned at Harry, though he was everything but amused. He was feeling so many emotions at that moment, it was hard to put into words. His face was doing whatever it wanted, and Scorpius was shaking with anticipation. He had one more question left he needed an answer to, and it came out in a devastated whisper,

“_Why _ did you just leave after we had sex?”

Scorpius could tell that Harry had seen the question coming from the knowing look on his face. “Because I felt horrible about what I had done to you,” he started, looking embarrassed. “That night, I was sad, and you were being a good friend, comforting me, and I just exploited the situation and had my way with you. And when I woke up, Draco’s words got into my head again. And then I thought about what our relationship might do to Albus,” Harry admitted but he moved closer to Scorpius on the sofa. “I felt like we shouldn’t be together. Like I wasn’t good enough for you which I’m still not sure I am, but Teddy also said that it’s time that I start being a little selfish and if that means getting me a cute twink then that’s what I should do.”

At that, Scorpius’ burst into laughter, and he couldn’t help but think that he needed to thank Teddy later. Because he was right. Harry deserved to be happy, having spent basically his whole life fighting for a better world, putting himself last. 

On another note, honestly, who cared that there was an age difference? Harry had literally been named _Sexiest Wizard_ _Alive_ by Witch Weekly for the past 7 years in a row and a few times before that. No way in hell was Scorpius going to turn down a chance to get a piece of that ass, and he didn't think that anybody would judge him for that. Whatever people were going to say or write about them, Scorpius didn't care, as long as he had his friends and family, and as long as Harry stood by him.

Feeling a bit more confident, Scorpius started smiling and Harry quickly mirrored it. They had moved really close to each other.

“Are _ you _ sure, though?” Harry suddenly asked, in a whisper, but Scorpius was only looking at his lips now and hoping that maybe he’d be able to get a taste of them sooner rather than later. “About wanting me, I mean?”

“Harry,” Scorpius replied, and they were moving closer to each other still, Harry was squeezing his hands to a point where it was almost painful, “I’ve wanted you since I was 16.”

At that Harry’s eyes opened wide but before he could waste their time with more talking, Scorpius closed the distance between them and finally tasted sweet sweet Harry.

It all felt unreal. Like a scene from a dream, and when Harry finally started moving his lips against his, a moan escaped Scorpius which must have told Harry just how desperate he was for him and had been for the past years.

“Scorp,” Harry pulled away way too soon—he hadn’t even let him taste his tongue yet—but kept his upper lip touching against Scorpius, their foreheads knocked together, “I want this so, so bad but there is something you need to know first.”

“Oh god, what else?” Scorpius whined in desperation and Harry pulled away a little more. Scorpius watched Harry lick his lips, his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallowed. There was a blush on his cheeks now.

“Just, this is serious to me. I don’t just go around having sex with people,” he sighed and Scorpius’ heart was beating hard in his chest at what he thought Harry was really trying to say. “I just want you to know that—“

“You love me,” Scorpius whispered in a breath, almost unbelieving even though everything Harry had told him until now had led up to this moment.

Harry loved Scorpius. And it wasn’t just a hypothesis. It was a fact. A very true fact!

Harry laughed, “Why are you so good at always knowing what I want to say before I say it?” He cupped Scorpius’ face in his hands and leaned forward, “But yes, Scorpius, I fucking love you.” And then they were kissing again.

The hands he had been dreaming about for almost a decade went to his hips. A small moan left him when Harry slid them beneath the fabric of his shirt. The older man used the opportunity to slide his tongue against Scorpius’ for the first time that day. It was only a kiss and Harry’s hands on his chest but it already felt like too much. Scorpius mewled at his touch and he was so hard it hurt in his tight pants.

“Let’s continue this in bed,” Harry said in between kisses as his fingers were pinching both of Scorpius nipples at the same time—that again!—and his chest automatically pressed closer against Harry’s hands. Nodding frantically, he let Harry pull him up and they stumbled up the stairs and into Harry’s bedroom.

Before lying down, Scorpius threw off the Auror’s coat he’d been wearing the whole time and crawled over Harry who had already lain down with his head against the headboard, breathing heavily and waiting for Scorpius to join him.

That sight alone…

“I want to see your chest,” Scorpius said hoarsely and pulled Harry’s shirt over his already stretched out arms. Seconds later, Scorpius’ mouth connected with one of his nipples and he knew that whenever he got too much into it he used too much teeth, but Harry didn’t complain at all. Instead he made a small whining sound in the back of his throat that sent so much blood into Scorpius’ cock, he thought it might explode.

“Do you like it rough, Harry?” he whispered against his nipple before he scraped against it again with his teeth and Harry’s hands came up to his head and tried to grab onto something but his hair was too short. At the same time Scorpius’s hands wandered behind his back and he grabbed Harry’s firm buttocks, squeezing and massaging to the movements of his lips and teeth.

“I think I’ll like anything,” Harry breathed with half-lidded eyes and Scorpius just had to see his face when he said that, “as long as it’s with you.”

"Harry," Scorpius moaned against his nipple, feeling his chest hair scratch against his lips. He squeezed his butt again, fingers running down Harry's cleft.

”Do you want—,” the man below him started but didn’t finish his sentence, just swallowed hard. “Do you want to fuck me?”

A shudder went through Scorpius as Harry clenched the cheeks in Scorpius’ hands. Scorpius got on one eye level with Harry, his lips and teeth closing on Harry’s earlobe as he sucked it in hard and then slowly let it slid out between his teeth. “So so much.”

“Then you should know,” Harry pulled his head away a little to look at Scorpius with wide-dilated pupils, “that I’ve never done that before.”

“Never?” Scorpius asked, not believing the words coming out of Harry’s mouth right now. But his eyes were serious and Scorpius wanted it to be true so much.

“_Never _.”

If there was a scale from 1 to 10 of how aroused one could be, Scorpius was sure that he had just reached a 24. Suddenly this felt like so much more than just their first time with Harry bottoming. It felt like Harry had waited all this time, just so that Scorpius could be the one to teach him all about this.

“Are you freaked out about that?” Harry suddenly concluded, probably based on Scorpius’ silence but he quickly shook his head and leaned forward to press a kiss to Harry’s lips.

“No,” his lips felt so good, he finally wanted to stop talking and just feel Harry, “quite the contrary. I feel so happy that I’ll be the first one inside of you.”

It was almost like Harry had read his mind when he closed his eyes and replied in a whisper against Scorpius’ lips, “Then stop talking about it and do it.”

He didn’t need to tell him twice. Scorpius deepened their kiss and felt their tongues move together in a hungry and almost desperate fashion. He was the first to motion for them to take their pants off and Harry copied him without question.

It wasn’t the first time that he saw Harry undress, but it sure felt just as exciting. When they were both finally naked, Scorpius closed the distance between them and pressed his body against Harry’s from behind, licking a trail up and down Harry’s neck and stopped to nibble at the shell of his ear. While pressing soft kisses against his neck and bathing in the moment of having Harry Potter in his arms, as close as they could be, he started moving his hips slowly up and down against Harry’s warm behind.

“I’ll use some protection and cleaning spells, alright?” he whispered and Harry nodded. Scorpius moved to pull out his wand and a second later he felt Harry jerk slightly at the feeling of the magic working over him. “Lube,” Scorpius said and he might have been a little too fast because Harry seemed really surprised and almost sat up straight when he felt the sticky wetness on his hole.

“Fuck that’s weird.”

“Sorry,” Scorpius chuckled and pulled his hips away a little to make room for his finger. “Now you only need to relax.” He waited for a nod before he finally touched the place he’d been dreaming about for so many years.

Just his middle finger was running down Harry’s cleft, stopping lightly over his tight opening. He started rubbing softly, feeling like he had never before done this when in fact he had, but with Harry everything was different. Instead of being completely focused on the physical sensation this would bring him and his partner, he was so engrossed in the way their proximity made his heart feel. Scorpius couldn’t even see Harry’s face but he had never felt closer to someone than now, as he was rubbing Harry’s hole, being the first person who had ever touched him there—and he hoped that Harry would never do this with anybody but him for the rest of his life.

When Scorpius couldn’t take it anymore, he finally pressed the tip of his finger inside and Harry instantly froze under the new sensation.

“Have you never done this to yourself?” Scorpius asked because it really seemed like this new feeling overwhelmed Harry.

“I have,” Harry admitted and breathed in quickly from his nose once when Scorpius pressed forward to his first knuckle, “but it’s never felt so intimate.”

Scorpius knew exactly what Harry meant. Fingering someone had never felt like this for him either.

He took his time, pumping his fingers in and out of Harry, first two then three fingers until he was twitching around him and pushing back so hard, practically begging for it with his movements while he whimpered, “Please Scorp. Please.”

Scorpius saw Harry grab his own cock from the corner of his eyes, starting to pull his foreskin up and down in hard and fast pulls.

“Don’t,” he whispered and pulled his fingers out from Harry’s arse, making Harry whine even more at the loss of them. “Patience, Harry, please, I promise it’ll be worth it.”

“God, Scorp,” Harry sounded miserable when he turned around with half-lidded eyes, immediately moving his body forward and pressing his hard dick against Scorpius, “You know I’m impatient as fuck.” Kissing him desperately, Scorpius felt a rush of want and lust rush through him when he pulled Harry into a tight embrace, not an inch of space left between their bodies. He felt the older man shiver under his touch.

Now the impatience had latched onto Scorpius, with Harry starting to pump his hips up and down so that their cocks were rubbing against each other so deliciously, for a second Scorpius was thinking about just letting them come like this. But no, he wanted to be inside of Harry—feel his walls clamp down on him when he made him come.

Their mouths and tongues separated and Harry looked after them hungrily but then Scorpius pushed him onto the sheets underneath. He was towering over Harry and saw the man’s pupils dilate more as he waited for Scorpius to fuck him.

Scorpius bent over for one more wet, messy kiss before he stood upon his knees and grasped his wand one more time to conjure some lube onto his cock.

“Ready?”

Finally, Harry looked up into his eyes again, the green almost gone as he whispered back. “Yeah”.

Scorpius pushed Harry’s knees up so they were almost touching his own shoulders and Harry’s hands immediately came up to hold them in place. Breathing out hard through his nose at the sight of Harry displayed like that, waiting hungrily for him to fuck him, made Scorpius doubt that any of this was real for a moment.

This was perfect, Harry looked perfect. Was he dreaming?

“Come on,” Harry then said, impatiently again and Scorpius thought he saw him wiggle his butt slightly, “Go slow please.”

Scorpius mouth fell open, “yes, of course,” and then he finally slid forward again.

When Scorpius lined up his cock to Harry’s arsehole, he knew for a fact that this was the most excited he had ever been in his life. And then he decided that he couldn’t wait any longer for this to finally happen and by softly pushing against him, the head of his cock slipped into Harry in one swift movement. Scorpius made a sound he didn’t know he could make. A mixture of pure pleasure and shock at the new emotional sensation that came crashing over him as he watched Harry stare up at him, his mouth hanging open and breathing heavy. The older man’s eyes screamed pleasure, and he was pushing back a little and making sure Scorpius sank into him faster and deeper.

“You’re amazing,” Scorpius moaned at the feeling and pushed some more until he was all snug inside of Harry.

Finally.

This was what he had wanted for so many years.

After giving Harry a moment to adjust, he announced that he would start moving but not before leaning forward and kissing Harry softly. "Tell me if you feel uncomfortable.” 

And then he started rocking. First slowly, then a little faster and after a minute or two the sound of skin slapping against skin and the smell of sex filled the air. Harry was clawing at the sheets next to his stomach for something, anything, to hold on to with Scorpius hammering into him hard.

Scorpius felt like the world would stop spinning with every press of his cock against Harry’s prostate because it made the man beneath him whimper, sob almost and then Scorpius stopped when he knew that he was pressing against that spot hard, his cock angled just right. He made very precise thrusts against Harry’s prostate which made Harry repeat his name, over and over, begging him to stop because it was too much and he needed to touch his cock.

“Please Scorp, please I— I can’t. Touch me, please, Scorp,” and he felt that Harry was close, so he finally showed some mercy and wrapped his fingers around Harry’s sticky cock and started fisting it at a much harder and faster pace than his hips were moving. It didn’t even take a minute before Harry was coming in long white strips, covering his chest while Scorpius watched in absolute awe as Harry’s orgasm rippled through him. The combination of Harry’s unexpectedly loud moans and his tight hole clenching around him caused Scorpius to follow suit and shoot up Harry’s quivering arse.

Harry’s hands and legs gave out and Scorpius fell down on top of his chest, not caring about the sticky mess between them as he started catching his breath and covering the side of Harry’s face with tiny exhausted kisses. He felt an arm come up to hug him and press him even more tightly against Harry’s chest and then they were kissing again, slowly, tongues entwined in their post-orgasm bliss and Scorpius would make sure to forever keep this moment locked into his head as the moment he’d been the happiest he’s ever been.

Harry was finally completely his and nobody would take him away again.

◊ ◊ ◊

To Scorpius’ absolute shock, he woke up alone. Again! For a very short moment Scorpius’ heart started racing in fear of having been left but then he remembered what Harry had said, that Harry loved him, and he quickly stood up and made his way downstairs in search for his missing boyfriend.

_ Boyfriend_.

Scorpius stopped on the stairs as a huge grin spread over his face.

They hadn’t talked about what exact kind of label they wanted to put on themselves yet but as Scorpius already knew that Harry wasn’t interested in casual relationships and Scorpius sure as hell didn’t want that either, he was certain that boyfriend was the right term to use when addressing Harry from now on. Though, Scorpius couldn’t help thinking the word 'husband' had a much nicer ring to it. But maybe he shouldn’t let Harry see how crazy he was about him on their literal first day as a couple just so not to freak him out.

Following the sound of dishes clattering, he stepped into the kitchen and found something that made him swallow hard at the sight of it. Harry was turned with his back to him, wearing just an apron, his perfect arse completely on display.

“Did I just walk into one of my wet dreams?” Scorpius asked and Harry spun around as if he hadn’t expected anyone to walk in on him. His eyes were already wide open but after landing on Scorpius’ naked body they looked so big it was unreal.

“I could say the same,” Harry murmured and put down the mug, walking up to Scorpius but stopping about a metre away from him. “You look even more sexy in the light,” he said and Scorpius realised that this was really the first time that Harry was seeing him completely naked like this. A light bulb went on in his head.

“Harry!” he shouted scandalised, “I still haven’t seen your second tattoo!” to which Harry looked up at him and simply said,

“Oh, right.”

And then he did something that should be illegal. He turned around, stepped towards the table and leaned over it, displaying his arse like he was ready to serve breakfast. “It’s right here,” he said, looking back to Scorpius over his shoulder and pointing under his left arse cheek.

Scorpius got on to his knees behind him and saw three tiny symbols right next to each other. A triangle, a vertical line and a circle.

“Touch it,” Harry breathed.

Feeling excited, he swiped his thumb over the tattoo and they moved together and formed the symbol for the deathly hallows.

“That’s insane,” Scorpius breathed, as he had never seen a magical tattoo being able to do that.

“I was out of my mind drunk when I got it,” Harry laughed, “I even forgot that I had it until Ginny saw me naked for the first time and she told me she I liked the tattoo on my bum and I freaked out so bad, I fell off the bed.”

Scorpius grinned up at him when Harry turned around and leaned against the table. He pulled Scorpius up and wrapped one arm around his hips, moving the other to slide slowly and softly down Scorpius’ chest with just the tip of his forefinger. “So, I am making breakfast. Any specific wishes?”

The smile that played on Harry’s lips was teasing and Scorpius felt his cock twitch, “I have a lot of wishes right now but none of them involve food.”

“Mhm,” Harry hummed and his face turned into a small smirk when he said, “Then breakfast can wait.” And he fell onto his knees.

◊ ◊ ◊

Scorpius didn’t think he’d ever had that much sex in two days. Not even in those first few weeks with Benjamin had he felt the urge to rub, suck, lick, kiss and fuck so much. After that blowjob in the kitchen, they’d had breakfast and then Harry had urged them to take a shower together and while rubbing each other clean with a sponge Scorpius had told Harry about his wanking adventure almost a decade ago, in this exact shower. It had led up to Harry opening him up with his fingers just like he had fantasised as a teenager and then fucking him so hard against the wall that Scorpius wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to walk straight again. But Harry had picked him up, put him on the bed and then continued to eat him out with slow and sure licks against his quivering hole and Scorpius had come a third time that morning, this time completely untouched with only Harry’s pulsing tongue working inside of him and his mouth sucking on his rim.

“By the way, Harry?” Scorpius asked after a while, his chin propped up on his hands that were lying on Harry’s chest as he was looking at him, “How did things end with my dad?”

“Oh, he gave me his blessing to go die,” Harry said seriously while his fingers toyed with the former-snake pendant he had transfigured back to the original globe it had been when Harry had gifted it to him years ago. Scorpius smile faltered a little.

“But before I left, he threatened to kill me if I hurt you anymore in the future, so that’s a sign that he’s basically accepted that there is a future for us,” he explained confidently and then stroked through Scorpius’ hair.

“You know,” Scorpius started, and he really didn’t want to go back and relive the pain he had felt during the past years, “I really never thought that I would have you one day. I never seriously considered that being together would ever be an option for us.” He stretched out his hand to stroke behind Harry’s ear and down his neck.

Harry was quiet after that, and the way he was looking at Scorpius was unreadable to him. Scorpius wasn’t sure what Harry was thinking but it couldn’t have been anything bad because his lips pulled into a soft smile and he leaned forward to kiss Scorpius, only for a second, before pulling away again and lying down next to Scorpius to face him.

“Tell me,” he whispered, which then turned into a chuckle as he pulled his boyfriend to turn and lie facing him, their spent cocks brushing against each other, “What could have possibly made you fall in love with me?”

And at that moment Scorpius felt like the last 10 years of his life were flashing before his eyes. Starting from when he’d still dated Rose, completely unaware of the discoveries he’d make during the following months, up until the first time Harry had finally told him that he loved him back, just a day ago. Scorpius thought of the countless times he’d felt his heart beat faster because of Harry as well as those times he’d cried himself to sleep thinking that his love would stay unrequited for the rest of his life. And during all of those joyful, exciting as well as painful years, Scorpius had never really thought of why he loved Harry. He’d never thought of what exactly it was about Harry that had managed to grab his attention as well as his heart. His love for Harry wasn’t conditional, it didn’t make sense, it never really had. Asking Scorpius why he loved Harry was like asking him why he had magic. 

_ It was just a part of him. _

No idea how to explain any of that without sounding insane, Scorpius just grinned and said in a squeaky voice, “I’m just really into old men, you know?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end!
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading this far! This story means so much to me so I would love to read some comments :)
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](https://lordofthegoods.tumblr.com/) and check out this awesome [digital art](https://lordofthegoods.tumblr.com/post/623189650370117632/commissioned-kidovna-to-draw-scorpius-and-harry) of Scorpius and Harry that kidovna drew for this story!


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